Sex Stories Humor

not my story but...

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: hotnipples Posted on: 09 Dec 2004 1 comments
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This isn't my story, but it's short and cute...A housewife went down in the basement to do the laundry, dressed in her nightgown. She had a small load, so she slipped her nightgown over her head, and tossed it in the washing machine and went about her chores completely naked. There was a leaky pipe above her, so she gr... » Read more
"Short" Dreams

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: PlumpLvr Posted on: 28 Sep 2004 1 comments
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[i]I had the weirdest dream, just had to share...[/i]In my dream, I wake up to a sunny day. My wife is lying under the covers beside me, both of us nude as we sleep that way. She is moaning and groaning with what I immediately denote as sexual pleasure. "Hi baby." I said. "Masturbating?"She seemed started at first, the... » Read more
Chocolate Math (Sex Math!)

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 30 Jul 2004 2 comments
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Interesting and Amusing. Works for sex too!This is cool chocolate math! Don’t cheat by scrolling down first. It only takes a minute, so work this out as you read. Be sure not to read the end until you’ve worked it out. This is not one of those wasted time things. It’s fun!1. Pick the number of times a... » Read more
Singing about Sex in Church!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 30 Jul 2004 2 comments
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Just smile quietly.A pastor decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I’m going to say a single word and you will help me preach! Whatever single word I say, simply sing out whatever hymn comes to mind”He called out, “Cross!” Immediately the congregat... » Read more
"Help! A mouse!"

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 19 Jul 2004 -16 comments
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These sex stories that I have never told anyone that I heard in my youth keep cropping up after half a century! They've evidently been simmering on the back burner for a long time before Lily came along and turned up the heat to embellish them a bit! Enjoy, if you can. I'm sure he could not!Back in the days of modesty,... » Read more
Well dress young man!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 11 Jul 2004 2 comments
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Had forgotten about this story from decades ago until awakening early this morning! Lily has been the only place I could tell this story in all these years.A gal and a guy were making love in the hayloft of a big barn. Neither was ready for the responsibilities of raising a child, so he was wearing a condom during thei... » Read more
How old is too old?

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 11 Jun 2004 4 comments
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After we returned home from being out-of-state, our neighbor told us a question her grandson had asked. Sex was a favorite topic of her husband, but a bit out of character for her.Our neighbor's grandson is newly wed, living in a neighboring state, and came to visit his Grandma. During the visit, he asked his Grandma w... » Read more
Language differences can cause some real thrills!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 11 Jun 2004 1 comments
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While traveling out-of-state last weekend, somehow our neighbor's story from years ago came to mind and I could hardly wait to get home and share it with you all!In some locales, "knock me up in the morning" means for the bellhop to knock on a guest's door to awaken the occupant. When I was in high school in central US... » Read more
Cum on the stool seat!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 14 Apr 2004 1 comments
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I've never told anyone before this true story about one of my early experiences after learning about the facts of life over half a century ago during fall my 7th grade year in a country grade school in 1952. I don't know what recalled this incident to my mind, but hope you get a chuckle. It wasn't funny at the time, bu... » Read more
A girl named Jo...

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: emcefyrs Posted on: 13 Apr 2004 1 comments
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Been a while since I've contributed... this, from many years ago.Many, many years ago, a girlfriend I'll call Jo and I were getting to know each other more intimately after having been just friends for several months. We were a few weeks away from actual intercourse, but we'd progressed well beyond the occasional 'feel... » Read more
Vacations!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 29 Mar 2004 2 comments
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Two men returned from vacations about the same time.One man said, "We went to the Canary Islands, but didn't see any canaries."The other guy said, "We went to the Virgin Islands, and didn't see any ... (out of the corner of his eye, spotting their wives coming, changed his sentence mid-stream) didn't see any canaries e... » Read more
Making Music!

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: RC Posted on: 29 Mar 2004 1 comments
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Do you know what one ovary said to the other ovary?"There's going to be music in the air! Two nuts are pushing an organ in here!" » Read more
Vatican Humor...

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: HughJorgen1 Posted on: 28 Mar 2004 2 comments
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My apologies to all the Catholics that I offend with this one. My wife is Catholic and thought it was one of the funniest stories she had ever heard. So...here goes!One early morning, the Pope arose early. He looked out in the garden behind the Vatican and decided he wanted to take a walk there before his morning break... » Read more
The Hanging

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: sonny54 Posted on: 28 Mar 2004 1 comments
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I was told this joke over 30 years ago, and I thought I 'd share it. Some have not heard it before. I think it's really funny.Question: What did one ball say to the other?Answer: What are we hanging for, we weren't the ones who did the shootin' » Read more
Ready for a Chuckle?

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: FantasyGirl Posted on: 28 Mar 2004 1 comments
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One of my very special wl friends gave me permission to post this joke that he told me. Hope it makes you smile!Patty and Joe had just gotten married. It was Patty's third marriage, but only Joe's second. On their wedding night Patty confessed that she was a virgin."You're a virgin!" exclaimed Joe incredulously. "How c... » Read more
Speaking of Ole and Lena.......

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: FantasyGirl Posted on: 27 Mar 2004 2 comments
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Here are a couple more Ole and Lena jokes I heard on my Prairie Home Companion CD going to and from work yesterday.Ole comes home from work to find Lena sitting naked on the edge of the bed."How come you're not wearing any clothes?" he asks.Lena replies in typical female fashion, "I don't have a thing to wear!"Ole coun... » Read more