Is it Normal?

Sex Ed is ok, I guess. Sex Ed in Catholic school taught by nuns is, well, kind of stilted, but even so we got a good grounding in what’s what with our bodies. If you dial out the “good girls wait until their wedding night” crap, then yes, all in all, it was pretty well done. 

But theory isn’t reality necessarily. 

From the moment boobs started to appear among my cohort, the question “am I normal” was perhaps unspoken, but you have to have been in a girls' locker room to see and understand the unspoken curiosity that goes on. It's intense! 

There was a girl who at 13 had a thick growth of pubic (and underarm) hair and boobs we thought were huge. While most of us had little bee stings or maybe an A cup, Sarah was easily a C and maybe more. I’m sorry to say we teased her really badly. Girls can be very cruel. 

Then came periods. Who had started? Who hadn’t? Had anyone dared try a tampon? 

And then the mood changed. The furtive looks became ‘dangerous’. If you were caught staring at another girl, you were instantly labelled a lesbian.....dyke.....whatever. What I didn’t know for sure back then is that....well.....I was! The sight of a girl's body made me trembly all over and, yes, aroused. I knew what “horny” felt like and looking at someone who had more boobs than me (almost everyone), a nice curvy body and, shock horror, a shaved pussy made me wet. That’s why I skipped PE as often as I could and explored other girls' underwear. I loved the scents of other girls. Not perfumes....but their bodily scents. The underarm sweat on a t shirt or bra, the scent of pussy in the crotch of her undies. Mmmm.

Masturbation and full sex were spoken about in hushed tones, and as you might guess, some really had done it, while others merely lied about it. From the age of 13 - 16, I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone sticking their dick inside me, yet I was fascinated with dicks! Go figure! 

Boys started to hang around us from 14/15 onwards. I quickly learned they lied too. Lied about who they had done it with and lied about us too. Lied about whether they had done it at all! One guy spread it around that he had fucked me and I confronted him in front of his mates. I yelled that the only girl he had ever done it with was his own sister! That shut him up. He blushed to the roots of his hair and from that day was as nice as pie to me. I wonder if I was closer to the truth than I knew?

One year, we went on holiday. It was the first time I had gone topless when I actually had something (although not much) to show. All the girls and women seemed to be topless and my mum was ok with it. She even encouraged me and Ali to shed our bikini tops. Lying on a lounger with my little boobs exposed made me wet though. 

Towards the end of the holiday, I met a guy who was a waiter in our hotel. I’m sure he had a different girl every week, but he showed an interest in me that made me quiver. We used to meet up in some grungy area of the hotel and kiss and cuddle until my underwear was soaked. I remember the first time he touched my boobs. Oh he’d done it before over my top, but this time he slipped his hand up underneath it, and I let him! I kept thinking, “But I’m still dressed.....I’ve still got my bra on.....” but then, oh dear, then instead of cupping my boob in his hand, his other hand had managed to find the clip and....ping....suddenly his hand was under my bra and on my bare boob! My pulse was racing like crazy, and I had never in all my life been so stimulated (by anyone else). I thought I might die of pleasure right there.

But more was to come. 

Slowly his other hand travelled down over my bum and squeezed it giving a little pain which for some reason I liked, and then his hand was under my skirt and slipping slowly round to the front. When he touched me through my underwear, I moaned into his open mouth as we kissed. Although I was a mixture of excited and terrified, I knew somehow it would be ok.  So when his hand slipped down the waistband of my underwear and touched my pussy, I remember actually spreading my legs a little. He felt around, almost pushing a finger in me before deciding to focus on my clit until I was so close to cumming I was fighting it off. He eased my panties down to mid thigh! Oh, I was breathless with excitement. This felt so grown up in a way.....so dirty. 

I was getting daring too...rubbing his erection through his pants. He unzipped himself and I felt his hard dick in my hand although I was far from expert in what to do other than hold it. He showed me though, putting his hand over mine and teaching me the movements he needed. 

Meanwhile, I was losing my battle to keep my orgasm away. I simply knew at some point I would cum. That moment came when he turned away from me slightly, closed his eyes and moaned. I looked down at his dick and saw his shoot his load. It came out of him way more violently than I was expecting and it came in waves. One shot after another. It hit the wall behind me and oozed down it. I remember thinking, “Is that how hard a guy cums when he’s inside?” 

It was that that made me cum. I remember repressing the moans and I even tried to keep my physical reactions down. All that happened outwardly was a kind of whole body shudder....but I came....holy fuck....I came. I have no idea why I fought to keep my body reaction in check, but I did. I didn’t squirt, but I did flood a little. He knew I had cum of course, but somehow by me not showing (too much) that I had, to my mind I was still a ‘good girl’. 

He never tried to fuck me, and I always wondered why.

It was years later that a guy told me, “Fucking virgins is WAY too much effort. They get all clingy and never leave you alone afterwards.” Admittedly, this came from a complete asshole, but I did wonder if my waiter, feeling a little way inside me had decided I was a virgin and therefore didn’t want to go the whole way. Anyway, as I say, it was only the last few days of my stay there that we hooked up, and no way would I have let him go the whole route anyway. I never told him my age, and he didn’t ask. Perhaps he knew I wasn’t legal at the time. Perhaps he just didn’t care. I know I didn’t. 

The fooling around with the waiter was and still is part of my masturbatory fantasies....with variations of course.