Emily has a brother and a sister, both older than her. When she was 16, she walked in on her brother masturbating. “It looked furious…almost violent…and I couldn’t imagine that I would ever want something like that pounding away inside me.” She says the words with an overwhelming sadness. “I love my brother, but from that day, I hate to say it, but he became …well..not quite the enemy, but certainly part of something I knew I didn’t want.”
Her sister caused Emily some problems. “Being my sister, she had no inhibitions around me and would often change her clothes in front of me. We shared a bedroom, so seeing each other naked was a daily event. I was fascinated by her body, her curves, the gentle swell of her tummy and the curve of her hips. Of course, I knew she masturbated, after all, she was in the next bed. I felt awful because there came a time when she would do it and I would get so turned on myself. I was really finding that I liked girls, but I felt so guilty that while we were chatting as she got dressed in the morning, I would be so aroused. I would wait for her to leave the room and then rub one out as quickly as I could.”
Emily pauses, takes stock of where she is going next. “I didn’t know much about lesbian sex, but I knew it involved touching…fingering another girl, but I also knew it involved going down on a girl too. Once, and I swear it was only once, I…(she hesitates)…I used her panties. Oh Anna….the orgasm was so strong!”
Emily knows that my sister and I have had sex…often. How does she feel about that? “In a way, I’m jealous. I don’t think my sister would have gone along with it, but if the chance had occurred, yes, I think I would.”
Has Emily ever tried anything with a guy? “Once or twice. I needed to know…absolutely know whether I was attracted to boys or not, so, again, when I was 16, I went out on a couple of dates with a boy from school. Well, you know what they’re like…the kissing wasn’t so bad, but all he really wanted was to get into my panties. On the second date, we were in his car and he had got his cock out and made me hold it. I was kind of proud that I had made him this hard and was clearly having an effect on him, but equally, it wasn’t doing a damn thing for me. Nothing. Nothing at all. I’d heard of this ‘blue balls’ thing, although I’m not sure I believe it. Anyway, I kept moving my hand until he came. It seemed to me that he really enjoyed it, and that enhanced my feeling of power..I was doing this… I made him cum, but there was nothing between my legs at all…I wasn’t even wet.”
So at 16, you absolutely knew you liked girls and only girls? “Yes. PE and games at school were a living nightmare. Seeing the other girls in the changing rooms was hell on earth. I was so turned on! I had to pretend that my shower was colder than everyone else’s and that’s why my nipples were standing up. Thank God I’m not a guy! I couldn’t have hidden an erection. It must be awful for gay guys! After a PE lesson, I would be wet for the rest of the day until I could take care of myself. Sometimes, I didn’t make it home. I had to do it in the school bathroom.
And her first lesbian experience with a girl? “Well, that happened when I went to a friend of mine’s home one evening. She was really upset because she had just been dumped by her boyfriend. Apparently, the physical side of their relationship hadn’t progressed to his satisfaction. So, she was crying and I had my arm around her. She looked up at me with tears streaming down her face, and she just leaned towards me and kissed me. I kissed her back, and it went from there. She made all the running though. She put her hand up my skirt and I, well, I just opened my legs and let her touch me. Oh, but it was amazing! Even a light touch on my panties and I knew this was right for me. She got her hand inside the waistband and I lay back on her bed and just let her make me cum. Then I did the same for her. We only used our fingers, and we were both virgins…so there was no penetration. We stayed together for about six months, until her family moved away, but she was the first girl I went down on.” Emily pauses here and I can see in her eyes that she is reliving the memory.
“As I moved closer to her crotch, I was shivering with excitement. I could smell her fresh, sexy scent and boy, was she wet! Her whole vulva was glistening and when I ran my tongue up between her labia, I can’t describe the feeling….or the taste.”
I asked what this girl’s name was. Emily whispers it, almost like a prayer “Ella. Her name was Ella.”
Even though I’m not in physical contact with her, I can sense…feel…how aroused Emily is at remembering that first time. That first truly intimate kiss between Ella’s legs. “I thought I loved her at the time, but really, what I loved was the realisation that I had discovered what I was…what my preferences were. Ella and I had a lot of sex, and we did some amazing things. We would swap panties at lunchtime at school. I loved having her damp panties on and know that I was making them more damp. By the end of the day we were wild for each other. Sometimes, we would write each other dirty notes and post them through the slats of each other’s locker.
Again Emily drifts off into a world of memory. I draw her to me and kiss her. She starts to speak, but I silence her with a finger to her lips. I draw her back on top of me as I lie back on her bed.
The last words I say to her are “Call me Ella.”
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