What's With The Contradiction?

Romantic? I suppose every girl dreams of being romantically seduced by some caring, tender lover. Being persuaded, being gently turned on as s/he kisses, touches over clothes, then under before two naked people complete the act.    And sometimes, that's what I think about. When I was a younger teenager I thought about romantic seduction a lot, but that wasn't all I thought about. Not by any means.  Even though I hate the thought, here in the cold light of day, I find the idea of being forced incredibly horny!  Last night, I was watching some old re runs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In one of them, Spike (a vampire Buffy has been sleeping with) attempts to rape Buffy in her bathroom. I watched, and my pussy was so wet....so open...in fact, I found myself urging him on. "Go on....pull her bathrobe off....put it up her."  Little wonder then that when I got to bed, I had to masturbate, and little wonder that I would fantasise about something dark. But I wasn't expecting what my brain did to me.  Here's the fantasy.....you will have to imagine what I was doing to myself! (I'll be too busy masturbating as I type to put in what I'm really doing I think). Im walking home. There is someone behind me. I keep stopping and tuning round, but I can't see anyone. My pace quickens. I'm not really sacred....well...maybe a little. The park! Yes, the park. It leads directly to my home. Oh, but it's not safe to cross it at night....even so....it's a shortcut. I decide to take it. I still hear the footsteps behind me in the pavement. When I reach the grass, I realise what a mistake I've made. Now I can't hear ANY foot steps. What if it's a man? What if he attacks me? Despite my raised pulse and increased breathing, I feel my clit jump. My boobs are hard too....a sure sign I'm aroused. My brain taps me on the shoulder. "If he rapes you, you're not responsible for it....you can cum and not feel guilty." Oh shut up brain....even so.... I start to walk faster, I'm deep in the park now. Trees on my left, play park on my right. Home dead ahead, about 100m away. Soon be there.  Suddenly, I'm pulled backwards from behind and dragged into the bushes. I'm thrown to the ground and someone straddles me. I look up. It's a girl in her early twenties. Not much older than me. She looks pale in the moonlight. She isn't trying to cover her face. It's a pretty face, wide eyed, sensuous lips. I scan down, small boobs, like mine, flat tummy and a very short skirt. I can see her panties although I can't tell their colour. She speaks. "I'm sorry about this..I...I just have to know.  She bends forward and kisses me. She tastes sweet. I'm part repulsed, part enjoying it. No...this isn't right..... I feel her hand urgently cupping my boob,  squeezing. It's under my top. Damn...why didn't I wear a bra today? A thumb is grazing my nipple which betrays me neatly by becoming painfully erect. "Fuck, you've got gorgeous tits" she whispers. I'm squirming, wriggling, trying to get out from under her. She take my right hand and then sits up. "Look...just do this for me, then I'll know....ok?" She guide my hand between her legs. She makes me touch her panties, which are so slippery...so wet. She presses my middle finger against herself and groans with pleasure. Damn, it's so wet down there I can feel the panties moving over her cunt lips. They're either silk panties, or she's so wet it wouldn't matter what they're made of. She kneels upright. With her left hand she pulls the crotch aside and jams my finger deep inside her. "Fuck me! Fuck me with your fingers, bitch"  I feel insider her. She is warm, incredibly wet. I curl my fingers to find her g-spot which makes her groan. I start to move my fingers gently inside her. A sharp sting crashes against my face. "No! Not gently! Fuck me....hard...fast..." I start to ram my fingers in and out of her, feeling her wetness pool in the palm of my hand. It even runs down my wrist.  Then I feel her reach behind herself. I feel my skirt being tugged up and her hand slips inside my panties. I clamp my legs together. I might have to bring her off, but she sure as shit isn't going to do anything to me.  "Open your fucking legs!" Her left hand is at my throat. She's not squeezing, but she could. I don't open my legs, but I do let them go slack. She bullies her way between my thighs....or maybe I help a little....just a little....she finds my entrance and pushes two fingers in me.  Im fingering her as hard and fast as I can go. Despite myself, I feel what she is doing to me as pleasure. She is raping me, and yet..... She starts to grind her hips on my rapidly moving fingers. I decide to encourage her. Hopefully, she will cum soon. "Cum. Cum on my fingers you fucking cunt," she gives a deep guttural moan and I feel it....every spasm of her orgasm, every pulse, every drip of wetness.  Then, just like that, she is off and running, leaving me there, my legs spread, panties pulled aside and frustrated. I put my left hand between my legs and rub my clit, at the same time, I lick her off my fingers, my Palm, my wrist.  I cum heavily into my underwear filled with her taste and scent.    And here, iPad glowing gently beside me, in a secluded corner of my garden, guess what I've just done!  I'm feeling at my most dirty time of my cycle right now. I could do anything, with anyone.