Not At All Sure.....

Which makes me wonder at the bravery of some girls I’ve read here who, at 14, claim to have “jammed three fingers inside” or fucked themselves with a Rabbit or similar sex aid. 

It’s not for me to say they’re lying, but......hmmmmm......all I know is me and my peer group knew how to work our clits, but fucking ourselves? Nope.....not a chance in hell.

Of course, hymens don’t always break during sex. Tampons can deal with them nicely, as can vigorous exercise, and I knew one girl who found blood in her panties after a bike ride. She wasn’t anywhere near due her period and she discovered her hymen had torn. 

Me? Well, I’ve already shared that with you.

When I discovered the delights of cumming with something inside me....it led almost immediately to me squirting too...prodigiously. 

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to puberty. It seems to me that it’s quite simple. Cometh the hormones, cometh the horniness. The moment my boobs began to form, they became sensitive and the slightest touch translated to a throbbing clit which, if touched in turn, gave a very nice feeling indeed. I was scared to go too far because like many girls, an approaching orgasm for me felt like I needed to pee and that was scary, so there were many abortive attempts at masturbation. 

Now, looking back, I can use those early days, that innocence of youth, as masturbatory fantasy/role play. I remember, for example how erotic it felt just to spread my legs and pull my skirt up while whispering, “Come on, fuck me.” I feel so exposed like that it’s wonderful! Even if my undies are still on! Then maybe, I pull them aside. “Look. See how wet my cunt is for you?” You’ve no idea how erotic it is for a girl of 13 to say “cunt”. 

I would look between my legs and see the clear juices form and run down my swollen labia. I knew, of course, that this wetness was to allow a boy’s penis to slide up me. 

I would slip a hand under the waistband of my undies to my clit, while holding the crotch of them to one side....I don’t know...somehow it felt MORE sexy than taking them off. “Fuck me......put your cock up my cunt.” And then I would lay back, rubbing my clit trying to imagine a boy humping me, but fucking me for real. I had drop hummed a couple of times, so I had some frame of reference. 

And then it would build....that feeling behind my bladder....that feeling of something approaching. Oh, but was it an orgasm, or was it pee? Ah, the number of times I chickened out and stopped playing with myself. I would be cross...huffy.....and go to the bathroom and pee. Sometimes, I was glad I had, other times there was hardly anything. 

Then, just as I had determined, next time, that fuck it, whatever happened I wouldn’t stop. Helen told us that she had cum for the first time last night and had peed herself. Fuck fuck fuckitty fucking BOLLOCKS. That knocked me back a bit. 

But the hormones would have their way, and about a week later, I covered my bed with the thickest bath towels I could find, had a pee before I started and went back into my familiar routine. It began to build again...and build...and build..and oh, am I going to pee? Fuck it if I do and..........

And suddenly I had joined the cum club (as we called it). 

That first orgasm, wait, no, those first orgasms, and the things I whispered into the dark, STILL form part of what I do today sometimes. The orgasm itself seemed to release something in me. I seemed to have passed some kind of test. Suddenly, I was orgasmic. I could cum. I learned different ways of doing it, and I learned different positions. Face down, kneeling, head on pillows, bum in the air, the shower head.....I began to have wilder, and sometimes frightening fantasies, parts of which I still like today. 

But now, I have an overwhelming need to be 14 again, so excuse me if I go to my bed, and slowly lift my skirt......