My Mistress Was Away

My apologies Miss. Ruth. I was earlier today taken with again a strange feeling to not be selfish in my pursuit of pleasure. I shamefully imagine that others, yourself specifically, might enjoy my gentle twisting and convulsing form taking my pleasure, for myself; my own selfish need to cum. And cum hard. After our conversation last night somehow I foolishly thought, or should say needed you to witness my indulgence. Unnecessary selfish masturbatory indulgence. I should have stood in the corner, but did not.Early this morning I awoke, turgid and tenting my cotton 'standard' bikinis and trodded off to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I had the bright idea that I would go on to the roof and watch the sun rise, well almost rise. 6 AM ... as the water boiled, and you'll see my brain here - I thought to replace my bikinis with a pair of slick nylon boxer briefs with a specific cock pouch. No exaggeration. Putting them on is at once enjoyable and a bit tricky. In the front is sewn a hole entering into the front panel for my cock and balls. One has to place his bits and pieces in there but that sort of wakes them all up and sooner than you realise one has a nice chubby going on and it's held out making it all the more erotic. They form a slight cock ring and keep them ever so slightly stimulated while snuggled inside. The desire to be snuggled in a warm wet pussy never slips one's mind when in the kind of situation- or at least how nice it is to have a turgid cock between one's legs, wanting attention. Back to the kitchen water was boiling and made my pour over coffee. Pulled on my shorts pushing my fat bulge in so I could zip up. So aware, but pretending that I had no idea later I'd stroke myself off - and make every attempt to enjoy it. The roof was great. Might be a new thing as long as the repairs are taking place.  Coffee empty and coming down the stairs I can feel my cock bouncing in its cradle, rubbing against the inside of the zipper fly of my shorts. Inside my apartment - I wash my hands, of course! And the shorts drop off my waist and sit down on the couch and take off my T-shirt. It's still cool and not too hot. I lay back on the cotton sheets I've covered the couch with and start to rub my crotch. See if I can find some new way to coax a big rigid hard on. I love that feeling of my hard cock between my legs. That knowing feeling that I will allow some wasted time to get myself off.  How much time? I am no stranger to edging. I love to hold back, come to the brink and hold back some more. Some small disappointingly small drops of pre-cum often come, but never enough. Natural lube is so erotic. I waste some non-committal time teasing myself through the slick nylon. My hardon tents the pouch sideways. A little spot appears at the tip. I need some porn. I connect the computer to the TV and even set up my webcam. How I fell down this rabbit hole I will never know. The pandemic?  Maybe. But I do like being watched and being told what to do. You know this. I open a porn window and the chat window and make sure my face isn't in the frame. It's a new position with the couch moved, I am half reclining and half sitting. I start to watch some spandex videos and others, rubbing my cock and tugging at the shaft through my slick shorts. I click the  button on the webcam and sadly hope some woman will want to watch and tell me to remove the pants and oil up my aching cock. I continue to watch various porn and go through the motions hard, medium hard, hard again, looking for something new. In my mind, I sort of know I will go an extra step today. Eventually I take off my shorts and let my cock spring free. I get up and grab my coconut oil from the bathroom shelf. I come back to the couch and recline and throw one leg over the back, really opening myself to the camera and my own access, as if that was a problem! I stroke and oil myself hard. I watch some more videos and moan a bit, really try and fall away into indulging and enjoying the time. Eventually I need more. Off to the bathroom. First to the drawer where I keep your gifts. I get your vibrating plug and check the power, place the little battery in the remote and place a condom over the plug. In the bathroom I start to play with my asshole. I lube up one finger then two, then I try to place more lube up my ass and just don't think how silly this may look and just enjoy the pure naughtiness this seems to be. Enjoy. Don't think so much. I slowly push the plug into my asshole. It feels good. It wakes up my cock in a slightly different kind of way. That is the whole point, right ? Well, back to the couch. I was really feeling bad, kinky, needing to cum. But wait, right. Hold back, edge! Tease myself. Prolong the pleasure. Not like I have to run off somewhere. I bumped and ground my ass onto the towel on the couch and stroked my cock in rhythm. It's a combination that is truly greater than the sum of its separate parts, ya know? Then, sometime, after no luck with the internet populace, I sent you that first email. Knowing I did that made me feel very dirty. I was doing this now in real time. Hitting send only sent me further. It is so much in the brain as much as in the cock. I blasted a huge load across my chest. You've seen bigger, but that only would happen in real life, cause ya know - it's real. So much better.