My Inconvenient Mistake

This is a case where I made an inconvenient mistake. The first night of a week-long business convention, I came back to my hotel, and started to watch some very mild porn on the cable TV. That got me horned up. Lately, I had been entertaining the idea of sounding - putting things in one's peehole, and I noticed there was a complimentary pen in the room. Oh, that pen was just the ticket. It was long, round, and came nearly to a point at the back end, then tapered gently to a rather fat portion where one grips it, then tapered back down toward the point. It had the hotel's name and phone number printed along the side. The whole pen was smooth, and I had learned that smooth is important because the inside of the urethra is sensitive. But what to use for lubricant? The only thing in the hotel room was a complimentary tube of shampoo. Hey, I was thinking, that's viscous, right? It should do nicely. I got immediately hard just thinking about what I was planning. I turned up the thermostat and watched a bit more of the mild porn until the room warmed up nicely. Then I took off all my stuff, stepped in the shower, got out, toweled off, savoring my erection the whole time. Now, I was ready. I hopped on the bed with the tube of shampoo, and squirted some on the pen, spreading it all around the pen with my forefinger. Just to be on the safe side, I squirted a drop or two of shampoo directly onto my peehole, as well, but wasn't bold enough to actually squirt some inside. OK, so I grabbed the pen, and slowly, ever so slowly, started sliding it's long pointy end into my urethra. And it felt great. Well, a bit stingy, but not bad. I pushed it in further, and wham, I started ejaculating, quickly pulling the pen back out. Damn, that ejaculation stung a bit. And around my peehole was swollen a bit in a way I've never seen it before. Well, it must have been the shampoo. No big deal, right? Wrong! Within a half-hour, my penis was not only stinging, it was aching at the same time. So badly I couldn't stand entirely upright. I started worrying big time! I guess the shampoo wasn't such a good idea. An hour later, I had to pee, but I knew it would be the worst, most awful stinging sensation of my life, so I held it quite a while. Finally, there was no way out. I was going to have to pee. I sat in the bathtub, because it was too painful even to sit on the toilet. My dick was weirdly shaped. Kind of swollen, so it was longer and bigger around than a flaccid penis, but not like an erection. Kind of fat and soft. And the peehole itself was so swollen it was slightly protruding. Finally, I let out a tiny squirt of piss. Like maybe a teaspoon, and instantly recoiled in pain. Oh worries! I still had a lot of pee to go. I tried to relax and just tell myself it was going to hurt, and there was nothing that could be done other than to be relaxed as I could, and just let it flow. But no, I was able to relax only enough to let it out in small squirts, followed by a minute or so between each squirt of attempting to recover. I was just letting the little squirts flow out over my belly in the bath. I'd clean up later. Finally, I was done peeing, and I tried to go to sleep. Sleep was a long time coming. I was hoping by morning everything would be back to normal. Wrong again! The morning urination was a repeat of the night before. Tiny little squirts, a minute apart, and totally stinging. The dick was still weirdly swollen, and still ached along with the stinging. It took a while to get my clothes on, and get ready for the meeting. I took a cab even though the convention center was a block away. It hurt too much to walk. I spent the day standing in a hunched over position. I told people I had hurt my back. Around noon, and then in the late afternoon I had to pee again. I went into the toilet stalls in a restroom, and took my sweet, stinging time about it, trying hard not to yell out when the urine flowed and reactivated the sting to its fullest. By that evening, the swelling had gone down a bit. I was fantastically relieved. I had started to entertain concern about having to go to the hospital, and of course I'd have to admit what I'd done. But now it was looking like that wouldn't be necessary. The next morning, the ache was gone, until my morning pee. Same thing, small, totally stinging spurts, and the ache returned. But not the swelling. By the end of the day, the ache was finally gone, and the stinging was reduced to occurring only after peeing for an hour or so. I was a bit less hunched over the next day. A few days later, my better judgement got the best of me, and I had to try jerking off. The ache came back for a few minutes, and when I ejaculated, it stung pretty intensely. But it was still somewhat enjoyable. At the end of the week, I was pretty much back to normal, and went home a stupid, but happy man. I'll never repeat that mistake, but I have jerked off a number of times to the memory of it. You wouldn't think such a thing could make a person horny, but I guess there's something inexplicably alluring in that memory.  The above picture is the very same dick. As you can see, no permanent harm done.