First cum, from both sides of the great divide.

ALEX 13 years old at the time, female. 

“I hated puberty….sticky panties, unpredictable periods, and for some reason, my boobs ached like a bitch when they were coming in. I’d started my periods at 11….well, there were times of the month where there would be a much darker discharge which a few months after that, turned into proper periods, although I never knew when they’d happen. I also noticed my mood swings. I’d become a total bitch, but oddly not when a period might happen…if anything, this was right smack between them. 

I also itched like crazy down there. In fact, I thought I had a yeast infection or something and went to the doctor. He examined me and it was the first time I’d laid there, legs spread while a guy looked at me….it made the itch intense. He took a swab and although he didn’t put it in me, he touched something with it that made me jump.

The swab came back negative of course, but i still had that itch. My hand was always up my skirt and I got told off regularly…all the usual ‘nice girls dont’ shit. So, I’m outdoors, I think I’d just got pissed off with all the nagging indoors, and I’d fucked off for a walk. I still couldn’t keep my hands away from myself though. I found an old flint barn and leaned against the wall and had a good cry. I was so fucking uncomfortable. I remember jamming my hand into my panties and poking around down there. I found my lips of course, but then I explored between them. I found my hole and my hymen, and a little higher there was some puckered skin which I instinctively knew was where I pissed from. 

But then I found this hard bean-like thing. Just touching it made me jump like I had at the doctors, but here’s the thing. The itch went away immediately and was replaced by something else…an urgency….a feeling like “Yes! Finally!” So I kept touching it. The more I did the better the feeling became until there was a sudden rush. I thought I was going to piss so I stopped, but it was irresistible. I started again, got the piss feeling again and stopped again. I must have done this eight or nine times….of course I know now this was edging! 

Finally, I just couldn’t stop. I literally couldn’t tear my hand away and although I tried to fight the piss feeling it just overwhelmed me and I had my first orgasm. I found I didn’t piss though. My panties were very wet, and got wetter still during the hour or so that followed. Wetness seemed to just ooze out of me and it smelled great…sort of flowery and musky at the same time. 

Since that moment…that afternoon, I became an avid masturbator. I would Jill off every night without fail, but I also soon learned other ways of getting myself off. 

Happy days! “

Steve, 15 at the time, male. 

“I knew what a ‘boner’ was. I guess every guy does. I’d get them any time, but especially if the weather was real warm and I wasn’t wearing much - say boxers or swimming shorts. I’m not sure that I had that much of an interest in girls…maybe I was curious…yeah, curious, but I hadn’t tried to get with a girl yet…way too shy. But these boners….they’d just happen. In the bath, in bed at night, lazing by a pool or on the beach. 

So, this one night, I was staying at my Aunt’s place. She has two kids, a boy and a girl and I was friends with the boy. The girl was 16 and kept herself to herself and most girls do at that age. She certainly wasn’t interested in us. So…I’m lying in bed, trying to get to sleep when my boner appeared. It was hard, almost painfully hard, and I just didn’t get it. Why now? What the fuck? I remember I approached it all rather clinically. I knew that this was supposed to go inside a girl, so I wrapped my fingers around it. Well, that was no big deal. I also knew I was supposed to ‘fuck her’, which meant moving in and out. So, holding my hand still, I began to thrust my hips up and down. 

Almost immediately, I felt this really weird sensation - almost like the need to pee, yet at the same time, nothing like it. This was way more intense. So, scared by this feeling, I stopped, but didn’t let go of my dick. My brain struggled with the puzzle a bit more. A girl would be on her back, her legs open and this was supposed to go up her. I had seen my friend’s sister by the pool with her legs slightly spread so I imagined her spreading them more. 

Again, I thrust forward with my hips….and right there, in my Aunt’s guest room bed, I shot my first load…..and it wouldn’t stop! Eventually it did though and I peeled the duvet back to reveal such a mess! I must have spent over an hour trying to remove every last trace of it. I used toilet paper to scrape up the worst of it, then my bath sponge to mop up the stuff I had pressed into the duvet with the toilet paper. It meant I slept under a wet duvet but at least I drifted off to sleep feeling like I’d got it all…

…until I woke up the next morning! Where I’d cum on it, the duvet was hard, and my dried cum had given it a silvery sheen to it….worse still, no-one told me that my dick would leak as it softened. Overnight, I had stuck to the duvet! It hurt like a cunt, and I had to gently peel myself away from the duvet….which gave me another hard-on! My brain just kept flashing me images of my friend’s sister, and it was like I was noticing her for the first time…her boobs….the odd pubic hair that escaped from her bikini….the way she would spread her legs by the pool…I even started to wonder if she was doing it deliberately to attract me! 

No matter what I did to that duvet, I couldn’t erase the cum stains. 

After that, I tried touching myself in the shower and learned that a) moving my hand was a lot easier than thrusting my hips around, b) shower gel makes for a pretty good lube, c) cumming standing up feels different to cumming lying down, and d) it felt really great watching myself shoot cum. I fantasised about Charlotte a lot while I was there. Two weeks of wanking myself to death, thinking about this gorgeous 16 year old, and wondering what it would be like to touch her boobs or between her legs. I quickly graduated to fantasising about whether she touches herself, and whether she gets as wet as I do. 

I never once thought to raid the laundry hamper which was a communal one on the bathroom. My Aunt was, while by no means overweight, a little on the large side while Charlotte was small and slim. I could easily have worked out whose panties were whose. 

By the time I had heard about panty-smelling, I had stopped staying with my Aunt and the opportunity passed me by. But I shall never forget the abject horror of staring at my first ejaculation plastered all over that duvet. What a night! 

Alison (my sister) during one of our early talks about sex…before we had done anything to each other, but after we had masturbated together a couple of times.

“I had terrible thoughts.” (Alison was far more into the whole Catholic ‘sin’ thing than I was. I had realised it was simply a control mechanism, and I don’t believe these monks and nuns were celibate for a second.) I’d feel strange between my legs and I’d feel wet. I knew what it was…I knew I was being tempted into sin. (Oh for fucks sake) and for ages I tried so hard to not touch myself, but when you’re a girl, and you’ve soaked your panties, you need to clean up, and well, even just touching yourself with a sponge feels….nice. 

I will never forget it. I had walked home from school and it was two days after my 13th birthday. Every step I took I felt wet, slippery, yucky. I knew I’d be a mess down there and by the time I got home I could feel my panties slipping and sliding over me, and oh….my mind….I was thinking the most horrid things, like ‘This must be what it feels like to have semen down there’ and ‘A boy has cum inside you and it’s running into your panties.’ I even thought really dirty things….things…words…I’d never used but had heard other girls say. My brain felt like it was talking to me. Does that even make sense? (Ali now knows of my Miss Brain, and it came as an enormous relief to her to know that I have a brain that speaks to me too.) My brain said things like “Your….cunt is so wet!” Things like that, and with every step I began to feel shaky. 

When I got home I went straight to my room and locked the door. In my bathroom, I took my panties off and they were so stained…far heavier than anything that had happened to me before. And between my legs..I felt awful…sticky…claggy where my pubic hair had stuck together. So, I took my wash sponge soaped it up and began to clean myself.a couple of minutes later and I felt much better, but then there was this throbbing…this pulse. I lay on my bed and tried to find it. It was right at the top between my lips and it felt solid…hard…and irresistible. I touched it and this wave of warmth spread through me. I opened my legs wide and even that felt nice to do…surely this can’t be a sin? Nothing that feels this good could be bad, could it? I remember what the nuns told us about self-abuse, and how it makes the Virgin Mary weep, but in that moment, I didn’t believe them. 

I touched it, rubbed it, and then it felt like my whole bottom half was engulfed in waves of unspeakable pleasure. I knew I was having and orgasm, and I just surrendered myself to it. Afterwards, I wondered if mum or dad…or you…would know…if there was somehow and outward sign that I’d ‘done’ myself. 

So, there you have three ‘first times’. Three people, all with the same Catholic education, taught by nuns and monks, who had been thoroughly indoctrinated into the whole concept of ‘if you enjoy it, it’s sinful.’ 

I can’t accept for a minute that these monks, priests and nuns are as celibate as they’d like us to believe. Are they seriously telling us that a priest or monk, awakening in the morning, hard as a rock doesn’t do anything about it? And what of wet dreams, Father, Brother? Your sheets covered in semen, and what, exactly did you dream about, I wonder? Was it me? I hope so! 

It’s true, most of the nuns who taught me were ancient, but now and then, usually only for one semester at a time, we had a young nun join our unhappy little band. These were usually nuns who were about to take their final vows or had just taken them. They would be in their mid to late 20s, and I defy any woman to say she isn’t ever horny at that age. I used to get off imagining a young nun, lying naked under her over-starched sheets, quietly rubbing one out. Maybe she confesses it, maybe she doesn’t. 

And the Brothers to whom we dirty little bitches flashed out crotches so wantonly. What of them? I know for a fact that we caused more than one spontaneous erection. Good! That’s what the sight of a girl’s crotch is supposed to do to a man! I hope they did retire to the restroom and beat one out…nothing healthier. 

The first footsteps into sexual activity aren’t sinful….they are joyous, and ought to be treated as such. Let our youngsters feel the gentle kiss of sensuality and let them explore it without a tinge of fear or the darkness of guilt.