Autumn?

I love the sounds of the birds as their morning chorus fills the air, and look, way over there near the hedge line in the distance, a fox is making her way home after a night hunting. She freezes and looks around and at one point stares ight at me. Realising she is in no danger she darts away, her tail our straight behind her. 

But today, there is something different. It wasn’t there yesterday and although the sky is a brilliant blue, and the sun is warm, there is a definite chill in the air. It’s funny how autumn seems to announce herself like this. One day a normal warmth, the next that sharpness that heralds winters long sleep. 

It is that chill that raises the hairs on my arms and teases my nipples up to a perfect, if slightly painful erectness. Sometimes, many times if truth be told, I wish we didn’t live in such a huge house with such extensive land around it. I would love for someone to be spying on me right now. I suppose there is the vaguest chance, since two other homes, way, way off in the distance on the hills can be seen. If I ca see them, they can see me, but they would need a telescope or a good pair of binoculars to see me clearly. 

I’m on my period today. Yesterday’s dull tummy ache has given way to a…..to a what? A strange feeling between my legs. I suspect it’s in my head rather than a real feeling, but my vagina feels, full, as if my attention is, or should be down there. It’s not my tampon (all girls know what a mis-inserted tampon feels like) but this is more that my body is doing something uniquely feminine. And my clit it throbbing. 

Miss Brain is in one of two modes during period time, two extremes. Either I feel incredibly soft, feminine, almost vulnerable, or I’m right at the other end of the scale wanting to do something really dirty. Today, like the season around me, is different. 

I’m on the orchard now, the threes are heavy with fruit and it has been a very good year for them. Once a year, our gardener prunes them heavily and despite this assault, they seem to come back each year with even more fruit. A large apple lies on the grass, an early windfall. I crouch down to inspect it, but it’s already been home to insects who have carried off its rich flesh. As it decays, wasps will find it and suck the alcoholic juices from it and become drunk. 

While I’m down here, Miss Brain taps me on the shoulder and makes me aware of exactly how I’m crouched here. Knees tightly together, feet slightly apart, very virginal. Suddenly, I feel very innocent and virginal too. A stab of regret laces through me. When I was 13, I almost did this. Almost walked, naked, out of the house and into the early dawn. Back then I felt it would be the height of naughtiness to be naked outdoors, and I so wanted to do it, but I was too scared. 

But now….now is different. I stand, look around, and lean with my back against the rough bark of the tree. I spread my feet a little more and bend my knees. My left hand and arm swap with my right to protect my ‘virginal’ boobs. My right hand cups my hairless mound and I close my eyes. Miss Brain takes me back through the years and I’m 13 again. I touch my clit and feel the jolt that the first touch always sends through me. Touching myself. It’s so naughty, but I’m sure all the girls do it. I begin circling my clit. I’m doing it. I’m masturbating. I beging a slight almost involuntary movement of my hips, I wouldn’t call it thrusting, exactly, but certainly it’s a ‘sexy’ movement….at least it is for a 13 year old. 

I feel like fingering myself, but I’m on, and my tampon is already inside me. I grip, internally, wondering if I can feel anything. For a moment, I convince myself that I can, but I think it’s imagination really. Miss Brain reminds me that I’m naked, outdoors and playing with myself. What if someone sees? The gardener? The housekeeper? My sister? My parents? All of the above? 

My left hand tightens of its own accord and squeezes my small boob. Mmmm, I used to do that a lot when, finally, I got something that one could call boobs. A tingle starts to build deep between my legs. My fingers move faster on my clit, and Miss Brain returns me to my 13 year old self. She doesn’t give me images or a fantasy as such. Instead she makes me think of how I looked at other girls in the locker room, wondering if they had played with themselves yet. How many of my class had started their periods? (All of them I should think) How many had masturbated? (Easily most of them) And how many had achieved the Big O? (Aah, now there’s a question. Certainly Beth! Beth looked about two years older than the rest of us. She was taller, and way more developed. Rounded hips and thighs, at least a healthy B cup or maybe more, and….and a look of superiority over the rest of us that told me she knew stuff we didn’t. 

A quick image of Beth lying on her bed with her hand in her panties is all it takes, and my orgasm bursts forth, amplifying itself as it does so. It’s so strong, as they always are during my period, that it makes me cry out. Wave after wave of unspeakable pleasure course through me makes my body twitch and jerk, scratching my back on the tree, yet the pain seems to mutate into pleasure, augmenting the orgasm.

I feel the contractions between my legs, and my bum. My tummy muscles begin to ache as well. A sign of a good, hard cum. The cool, biting air takes hold as my orgasm subsides and I look back over the years. 

I have zero regrets. I don’t regret a thing about my sexual development. I did what was right for me at the time it was right for me. I had sex with a man when it was right. I masturbated when it was right. I explored myself, and other girls when it was right. 

No being hamstrung by Catholic dogma for me, and no feeling of sin either! Not a chance! 

Again, I look around the place I am blessed to call home. Way, way off in the distance a vixen shrieks into the still morning air, and the birds fall silent for a few seconds. In the valley of our meadow there are whips of Morning mist, another sure harbinger of autumn on the way. 

It’s going to be a cold winter, I think. Our outdoor pool and hot tub are no more, so even when it snows, I won’t be coming or cumming outdoors, I don’t think…

….still, never say never!