After years of masturbating in secret, I discovered a friend that I could share my urges with.
After being called a 'homo' by my best jackin' buddy, I never talked about masturbation with anyone for many years. Then one summer late in college days, I had a friend, Rob. We'd known each other for a few years because we lived in the same town. We both ended up taking a music class that summer at the local college, and so we began hanging out together.
We enjoyed each other's company, and talked easily about many things. He had a comfortable apartment, and sometimes I'd crash on the couch there if it was late. I'd almost always masturbate on the couch and had very good climaxes there. We'd talk about sex, of course, and women, but I was very inhibited about talking about masturbating, even though I thought about it a lot.
One night, we were sitting in his living room, and Rob asked if I ever masturbated. I was very embarrassed and felt a wave of panic, but I answered that I did, and we actually had a short conversation about it. Then we went to bed, and I had a very hot little session with myself! I wondered if Rob did, too.
I knew that we would probably talk about masturbation again, and I remember that I both feared and craved that it would come up again. Whenever I saw him, I found myself wondering what his privates looked like, and wondering what I would or could say when the subject came again. I began to wonder what Rob's privates looked like, and how he masturbated himself.
I had these thoughts, but I wasn't bold at all-I was scared and afraid of being humiliated again by my friend. I even avoided going to his place, and met him at coffee shops and around the college. I felt very self conscious, like he was watching me all the time.
I guess it was a couple of weeks later we were again at Rob's place after class, and I remember it was warm and comfortable. We fell into conversation, and then Rob suddenly got excited and started talking about masturbation again. He said he'd really been getting off after our talk before, and said he'd never talked about masturbation with anyone before.
He started talking about how he really wanted to watch another guy, ever since he was a young kid, but he'd never felt safe enough to ask anyone. And he said he'd noticed that I would kind of show myself naked at his place when it wasn't really necessary, and he said he liked that, and sometimes fantasized about me when he masturbated.
He said he sometimes gets hot thinking about other guys masturbating. And he said that in bed at night, when I would sleep over, he'd imagine what my penis would look like and he suspected I was masturbating on the couch. One night he actually peaked at me!
And the more he talked, the more excited I got, because all his feelings were just the same as my own, feelings that I'd never told anyone else before, but that were with me all the time! A feeling of safety and relief came over me, but I was struck dumb and couldn't say a thing.
Finally, Rob stopped talking, and we sat there staring at each other. After what seemed a long while, he said, 'Do you want to strip?' And of course I said yes, even though I was shaking and couldn't breathe. And so we stripped right there. I took off everything, all my clothes, and socks-everything in a kind of frenzy to get naked that I couldn't stop. Then I quickly sat back in my chair, almost wanting to hide even though I was completely excited and happy and my head was swimming with all kinds of thoughts and fears.
I was very embarrassed, and could hardly look at him, but also my heart was pounding and I felt very happy. My crotch felt warm, and my penis was swelling. I felt Rob's attention on me. Nervously, but very deliciously and slowly I began to play with my balls, and penis and stroked myself, savoring the feeling. Rob's eyes were wide, and he had a smile, I remember, a big smile.
I was really so happy, flooded with relief and emotions of all sorts, and grew totally hot all over. My whole body throbed with pleasure. As I got more into it, Rob also started stroking himself, and I looked and really saw his dick for the first time. It was thick and round with a big red head.
When I starred at his cock in his big hand, I could no longer control myself, and I started spurting cum everywhere, with no time to cover my tip and keep the cum from getting everywhere.
A huge rush came over me, and I jumped up with my prick swinging and ran to the kitchen for a towel to clean up. Then I settled down into my chair, and watched Rob's head flip back and forth under his hand. When he was about to cum, he laid back, and I saw his balls for the first time, bouncing up and down, pink and large, with a fuzz of red hair, and with a groan (that I came to know well), his gobs of cum shot up onto his chest.
When he looked up he told me that I had a great big grin on my face. I said 'You too!' and we both laughed. As I remember, I jerked off two or three times in front of him that night, the last time he stood in front of me and we jacked in unison.
In the morning, I woke up early, and was lying in the sofabed masturbating again, when Rob came out into the living room. I started to let go of my penis and cover up, but then kicked off the covers so he could see. He sat on the bed and we jacked off again, our eyes glued on each other's dicks. I was very happy, and felt great relief.
We were both actually still pretty shy, but hugely excited. I remember the next night we brought some pizza to his place, and watched a video (not porn), and we both drank lots of beer, and behaved normally, and when the movie was over, Rob took the pizza to the kitchen, and I went to the bathroom to pee.
Then, a huge urge came over me again, and I stripped off all my clothes, and my penis began to throb and grow, and I walked out to the living room-nervous, excited, and happy. Rob sat down, and I stood in front of him, so he could see every movement and throb that I felt, and I jerked off until my legs almost buckled with a huge orgasm.
In the weeks that followed, that urge came many times. We'd jack late into the night, cuming several times. I was giddy with big relief of sharing and showing my hidden secret. I showed Rob all the ways I had of masturbating, and took him to some of my private places where I would masturbate-a hidden spot at the beach, my car in a shopping center watching women, my favorite porn books and stories, and of course my own bed. We rented soft porn, and talked about girls we knew.
One day I remembered what Billy had said ('You're a homo') and how humiliated I felt. I told my friend about it---I had never told anyone before of course. Rob confirmed for me that he didn't think at all that I was gay, and that it was really, really great getting off together, and had nothing to fear.
I loved being watched, and I also liked to watch Rob. His body was harder and stronger than mine, and his penis was big and round. His crotch was very trim and dark, his balls large, and his dick jerked fast and strong when he came.
I would fantasize him fucking some of the girls in our class-and he told me he had some of the same fantasies. A few of times, we reached over and jerked each other off, and I remember it was a really great sensation, and those times we climaxed in a kind of delirious frenzy.
Suddenly the summer was over, and we went back to our different colleges. My happy relief stayed with me, and I saw that my feelings about masturbation had changed. A few times we talked on the phone (and masturbated). In a few months, both of us ended up with really great girlfriends, whom we became very involved with. Rob told me that he liked masturbating with his girlfriend, and they would often stimulate themselves before having sex. I was still very shy, and would never talk about it with my girlfriend.