Touching Myself for the First Time

After reading a few posts from some others, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the first time I ever masturbated - although I have to admit they're a little more "romantic" due to the ravages of time and memory. The first time that I masturbated, I was completely unsure of what to do. I never got "The Talk" from my parents and can distinctly remember my father saying that I knew "everything I needed to know" regarding sex. Granted, my parents were quite open and willing to discuss matters with me but, when you're just entering puberty and your teenage years, how many of us are going to sit down and discuss their sexuality openly with their parents without a certain amount of discomfort? I didn't date many girls in High School but the ones I did date were pretty serious so my parents felt secure that I was being prudent and using good judgement---which I did, for the most part, while still taking the chance to learn about myself and my girlfriends. Mostly though, I was a "good" guy and would never approach Third Base because I didn't want to take advantage of anyone. This led to many lonely nights spent masturbating and dreaming of what I could have had if I'd been a bit more pushy. Not that I regret what I've done---if you read the story I've posted about Lisa, you'll see that I'm glad I waited and got to know myself first, before I had sex. I can't remember the exact time and moment that I first discovered masturbation (and let me clarify: masturbation to orgasm) but it was somewhere around when I turned 13. One day I was up in my room and playing with myself and decided to take some tissues and see what would happen if I forced myself to pee into them. I wadded the tissues up and put them at the end of my erect penis and then began a rhythmic pushing and clenching to try and get a little bit out. While I was doing this I somehow came across the notion that stroking my cock was giving me a completely different sensation that felt better than what I was trying to do. Although my hands were dry, I continued to move the skin of my penis up and down thinking that something was happening but unsure of what it truly was. I sat on the edge of my bed and stroked up and down not realizing that I had just opened up a brand new door! It didn't take me long to come that first time and shortly after I shot my first load into those tissues, I was trying to recreate the sensations I had just felt. I was totally amazed and a bit unsure of what had just happened---but I knew it felt good so I tried it again! This time I found it took me longer to reach an orgasm and the second one was WAY more intense than the first but there was less fluid to my ejaculation (I didn't realize what this was until a little bit later when I found my mother's copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves" and read, from a woman's perspective, about male sex and our "plumbing"---that book brought me more enlightenment than any Sex Ed. class I ever took!). I quickly discarded the tissues and began to explore myself to try and figure out what had just happened and why I almost completely lost control trying to reproduce the results! After that first "discovery" I had trouble controlling my masturbation---I'd do it everywhere and, on a couple of occasions, jerked off while my (male) cousins were also in the room (although I don't think they ever caught on to what I was doing and I never fantasized about them---they just happened to be at the wrong place and the right time). My masturbation sessions would sometimes go three, four, and five orgasms long and my hands would end up feeling crippled and tense from the work---but I didn't feel like stopping! Often a group of us friends would go out and stay out late drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and, when I came home, I'd immediately go to my room for a long masturbation session. It wasn't until my Freshman year of college that I had intercourse with a woman. She taught me many things---things which I miss and would love to experience again---but I never felt totally comfortable masturbating in front of her. I would love to watch a woman masturbate and show me what turns her on but have not had that experience yet. My first time came as a complete surprise to me and, looking back, I wish I'd been a little bit better prepared for it so I knew what was coming. I'm not sure how I would have been prepared or what I should have known that I didn't learn on my own but my first masturbation experience and the following sessions were nothing compared to the first night of sex I had! I don't think either one was better than the other but part of growing up. Now, when I put lotion on my hands, and prepare to stroke my cock, I sometimes think back to that first time and how awkward I felt. I try to imagine myself as that young kid again, exploring my growing sexuality and letting my natural instincts take over to show me what to do. I close my eyes and let my fingers slide clumsily up and down the shaft hoping to recreate that first moment when I realized how good self-exploration felt.