Some Strange Ones

I've masturbated so many times I couldn't begin to remember but the smallest number of particular sessions I've had. Not that it hasn't been fun, but usually, it's just been me and my hand on my bed or in the shower. Not really much to tell about these: Applied hand to penis. Moved hand (more or less vigorously, depending upon mood). Got excited. Adjusted hand motions and continued. Got more excited. Continued. Had orgasm. It's never become routine, but when you do it, more or less, every day for over 25 years, it all starts to run together. Not that there haven't been well, unusual times. I guess strange would be a better way to put it; these few times were just strange. The first truly odd thing I remember doing, as far as masturbating is concerned, was doing it with a rock. For a variety of reasons, yes, this probably wasn't the smartest thing to have done, but... I was thirteen or fourteen, I forget which summer it was. My family rented a house on the beach for a month each summer, and this summer, they (whoever 'they' were) were building a stone jetty down the beach from our house. We used to go climbing all over the boulders. A lot of the boulders had holes drilled into them, we thought then, somehow related to blasting them from the quarry or something. I remember when we'd been even younger, and another jetty had been built, we used to try to collect all the different colored wires that we'd find in the holes. Fortunately for us, I guess, there weren't any live explosives still involved or we'd have gone up in a big 'POOF!' But anyway, one day when a few of us were poking around I was looking at this one hole and suddenly though "gee, it looks just about the right size to stick my boner into, I wonder how that would feel?" I must have needed more to do back then. With just my fingers in it, I could tell how it would probably feel-none too good. Way too rough. So, rather than giving up, I contemplated how I might make it feel better if I did it. Sticking myself into something, at that age, seemed really cool, probably because sticking myself into some-ONE was pretty much of the question then (not that I didn't fantasize about it...) I'd used the ol' stick-it-in-a-TP-roll method a few times, and with a good amount of lube, it felt pretty good to start out, until I'd split the tube when I reached full erection, and had to finish the usual way, which had been a bit of a let-down. A few days later, back at the jetty site, I also realized that my plan was faulty, in that if I were going to have sexual congress with that particular boulder, I'd be doing it in view of everyone on the beach. Being neither that desperate, nor an exhibitionist (I didn't even know there was such a thing at that age) I determinedly searched for a rock with a hole, that was facing in a less obvious direction. I found one, pleasingly hidden from view of the beach on all sides by other boulders, but more or less open to the ocean. Ok, I thought, so as long as there are no boats going past... I found a slight problem, though, in that the hole was above my belt, when I was standing on the sand. I clamored up the inclined face and clinging to the top, found I could extend my arms about half way and bring my groin level with the hole. There still remained the problem that the inside of the hole in the rough granite didn't seem to me to be a good texture for achieving orgasmic bliss. Ripping all the skin off my penis, maybe. But 'the feeling?' Nuh-uh. I don't remember why we had it, but I found a piece of plastic bubble-wrap. Aha! I thought. I could line the hole with this! I cut what I thought would be a proper sized piece, and waited for Saturday morning, when the workmen would be off. Saturday came, and I was out the door first thing, very early, to minimize my chances of being caught. Remembering that lube would probably be necessary, I grabbed a little bottle of suntan lotion. I put my kit in my shots pockets and headed off for the jetty site. I got there and had the place to myself. I poked around for a while, trying to act nonchalant, just another kid playing in the boulders. I worked my way to 'my' boulder, looked around, and seeing no boats, decided to go for it. I lubed up the bubble-wrap liner and carefully placed it in the hole, so I had a nice soft slippery tube. I squirted in some more lotion for good measure. Clamored up on the boulder, lowered myself into position and managed to get my already hard penis out of my shorts and pointed into hole. I looked down and pushed my hips forward and I slid in right up to my belly. I must have had just the right amount of bubble-wrap, because the fit was tight. There was enough lotion in there though, that when I pulled out, the bubble wrap stayed in place, clinging to the rough stone. Oh, yeah, and it felt fantastic. A lot better than using my hand, though I wasn't in the most comfortable position. I pushed back in and began gently to copulate with the boulder. Unfortunately, all too soon I was losing it before I wanted to, shoved myself all the way in and came, clinging to the face of the boulder. I remember it was a really strong orgasm, and I started pumping again while I came, and kept at it for a couple of minutes after I'd stopped, until I finally started to get too soft to make it worth the effort. I pulled myself out and carefully climbed down and put my penis away, quickly looked around and fortunately saw no one. I pulled out the bubble wrap and pocketed it, and went home. By the time the evening came, I was wanting to do it again, but (maybe fortunately) I never got the chance, between the workmen there, and doing stuff with family and friends, that was my only time. A funny thing is that I remember a number of years later when I was in college, one night I had a vivid wet dream in which I was naked, doing it with a boulder like that again, on some tropical beach, right out in the open. In my dream I was at my current age. I really got into it, pumping in and out for what seemed a long time before I woke up as I was orgasming, face down onto my bed, my hands clutching the end of the mattress by my head. I still haven't decided which is the stranger, doing the rock when I was a kid or having a wild erotic dream about it when I was 20 years old. Another strange one from college. During my sophomore year - before I'd had that dream - I masturbated on the desk in my room a few times. I'd squirt some hand lotion on it, take off my clothes, lay my upper body across it. Then I'd thrust against it, sandwiching my erection between the desk and my stomach. I'd orgasm pretty quickly this way. Another time, studying late one night in the basement of the library, I was in the stacks away from the few people that were there. I guess I was just horny and as I leaned against the stack to get a book that had slid back on the shelf, I noticed that there was a shelf at just the right height to....I separated a couple of books just enough to make room, and as quietly as possible, applied spit to the shelf, and the two clear plastic book jackets on either side of the slot I'd made. I unzipped and pulled out and wet my penis, and giving one last quick glance around, slid it into the space between the books and began to thrust back and forth. It felt good, but took more spit and a longer time pumping than I thought it would before I was sure I was going to be able to orgasm. When I did a few minutes later, though, it was worth it