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Primal Masturbation

Posted by: Author: Age: 18 Posted on: 0 comments
4 likes 1392 views Category: Masturbation Male-Male Tags: primal, hungry, fingering, masturbate

I began to think about how masturbation in and of itself lost its significance for me. I thought, and I typed. Here is the result.


I can remember a time, not too long ago, when simply the thought of "jacking off" was such an arousing thought, that it was all I needed. Simply performing the act was enough... I knew what was to come. But somewhere in all of the fantasies stories and experiences, something important was lost. The thrill of masturbating, simply masturbating, became buried under erotic visualizations and scintillating stories. For me, masturbating came as instinct. I was nine years old my first time and had no idea what had happened to me. There I lay, on my bathroom floor, thinking about this sex thing my parents had told me about. I got hard, but that happened all the time. I got in the bath, my "Batman Forever" soundtrack playing, and thought some more. "I wander what it feels like," I thought. Lo and behold, my eyes fell on my sister's bottle of baby oil (You know the stuff...). I put some on my hand, put some on my penis, and awkwardly began to thrust my hard pre-teen penis into my hand. My hand was upside down (imagine jacking off in the basic whole hand technique, now rotate your arm so you are putting your penis in the end of your hand it would be coming out of), but despite the pain in my arm it felt so good. I kept going. I lost control. I succumbed to my body's need. In and out, in and out, I kept going, delirious with bliss. Then it began to happen. My first orgasm. The CD had just reached a weird track, a techno repetitive thing, and I began to spasm. The pleasure was indescribable. I probably would have enjoyed it more, however, if I had not known that the devil had just ripped out my soul, thus the shuddering pleasure, and I was damned for eternity. The music really helped with the freaking me out. Finally, I managed to calm down enough to realize that my soul was still intact, the music was SUPPOSED to sound like that, and I had found a new favorite pastime! (I am a Wiccan now, so this story cracks me up. I no longer believe in Satan.) I was hooked. I can't even remember how long I was masturbating before I knew what it was. But I do remember when I found out: summer camp with the Boy Scouts (no comments please). We were at our horseback riding class (yet again, no comments please, heh) talking with the boy from china, who dubbed himself Leo, when the topic came up. We were enjoying asking him how to say words in Chinese, when one person asked how you say "jack off." He didn't know what the boy meant, so he asked for clarification. Thus, the boy picked up his fishing rod (fishing was next), pointed to it saying the Chinese word for penis (I remember the sound, but I never knew the spelling. I won't attempt to butcher the Chinese language here...), and rubbed the handle. There it was! A term for what I had been doing. I was contented with this. Knowing the term fueled my desire to bring myself to bliss. For a while after that (after the camp ended), I began to enjoy jacking off in different places. Every room in my house, our cars, school bathrooms (this was the fifth grade), and the YWCA. The YWCA was one of my favorites. This is where I moved beyond basic jacking off. I had a little kit, locked up and hidden in my closet, that I took with me to the YWCA once a week. The kit consisted of a notebook and a small sex education pamphlet that I got in the fifth grade. (Not really sex education, more a penis education given to all of the boys to let us know why we were getting hard all the time. Good thing it was on pajama day, because I was hard through the whole video, as was most of the class I am sure.) I would go to the bathroom and lay on the floor jacking off. I would draw naked people (ever seen a naked stick figure?) in the book, and once I came, put another checkmark on my "How many times have I jacked off" list. Then I would go swim. In the locker room, I would enjoy sitting and seeing all the people nude. After a few times, I started showering nude myself. This became interesting one day. I was in the shower, enjoying the hot water, when a boy about my age walked in. We said hi to each other, and made small talk for a while. And then he said something that shocked me. "You have a lot of hair," (in reference to my pubic hair) he said to me, eyes never leaving my crotch. "Thanks," I believe was my reply. Haha. He continued to watch my crotch, and I fought with all my might to not get hard. He didn't want to make that easy for me though. "How big does it get when you are hard?" he asked. I have no idea what my reply was. I was not hard, but I was semi... "Is it hard now?" he asks me. "No," I tell him. "It looks like it is to me." "It's not," I say. This went on for a while. I had never experienced any thing like it. Had I, I probably would have done something with him, but I was not at this time in my life aware this was possible. I never saw that boy again in person, but he gave me (and in fact still does) tons of inspiration for jacking off. A while after that, in the Boy Scouts, I met a new friend (I will shorten his name to J). Now, J and I were so much alike! We liked the same foods, same movies, same books. We were very close. I remember several camping trips (it was three boys to a tent) when J, our other friend D, and I were in the same tent. I always ended up in the middle, and cumming while J was pressed tight to my left, and D tight to my right was incredible (although I stained my sleeping bag). At one point in time, when J was spending the night at my house, we ended up talking about jacking off. I ended up boldly proclaiming that I was going to "do it," and he soon followed. We lay there (me in my bed, and he on the extra mattress on the floor) talking as we stroked ourselves to pleasure, discussing techniques, and finally describing our orgasms to each other. This went on for some time, until finally we discussed blow jobs. We both wanted to know what it felt like, and discussed it several times, but always ended up jacking off instead. Finally we were staying at his house one time, and it came up again. We decided to try it. He decided he would do me first, then me him... And by this, I mean five second sucking increments. So, I pulled my pants down past my ass, lay back (this caused my penis to stick straight up), and gasped as I felt the first foreign hands on my body ever. He reached around in the dark, and finally found my favorite extremity. "Wow," he said as he finally found it, and began to gently squeeze the head with three fingers. It was bliss, and then... his mouth found me. He closed over me and began to suck. It was so warm; it was amazing. Finally, my five seconds were up, so I sat up, he lay back, and I found him. I felt his penis, firm yet soft, and began to lower my mouth. Slowly, I took him in. It was strange. Not really a taste, but it was so warm in my mouth. I sucked for my five seconds, and backed off. I wanted more, and to do more, but we both ended up separating and jacking off separately at that time. The next time, at my house, we did it again, each going for five or ten seconds, then backing off. We were jacking off separately when I asked him if he wanted me to "do you all the way." He said yes, but it made him gag to suck me, and he didn't want to. I told him not to worry about it. So, he made a pile of pillows at the base of my bed, lay back, spread his legs, and it was show time. I took him into my mouth for the second time. I enjoyed it again, knowing that I was making him feel good. He moaned and thrust, and finally, "It's happening! Pull off!" To this day, I wish I had not. I pulled away, and he finished off himself by hand. The next morning before he left, he asked me to try and get some condoms so we wouldn't have to pull off. After that, he began insulting me behind my back and wouldn't talk to me any more. After this, I began to discover stories, and visualizations that put me in a state of bliss. Solo was my source for stories, and I would look at it and jack off to it every day. I still enjoyed doing it in different places. I remember how, in junior high, I would take my penis out under my jacket and cum during class. I could cum looking into the eyes of a boy or girl who turned me on so much. In High School, I was on the swim team. I got to see the hottest boys and girls in tight fitting Speedos. I got to see the boys in nothing but their skin in the locker room. Somewhere along this line of events, simple jacking off lost its significance. Masturbation, in and of itself, was all I needed. Now, a desire for sex (which I still have not had; I am a virgin, if you don't count giving a boy half a blowjob sex, heh), stories, and photographs overshadows the primal thing that is masturbation. Somewhere along the way, it lost its magnitude for me.

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