Picked Up by the Police

By 15 I was taking pretty big risks with my exhibitionistic ways. And when I was 16 I fully intended to get arrested while I was still not an adult. 

I walked out of my house one morning before sunrise and walked the three blocks to the corner store and used the pay phone to call a cab. 

I was naked, not even shoes.

I had cash in my hand to pay for a one way ride downtown to the bar district where I planned to hide out till daylight and walk home. 

For twenty minutes I crouched down naked by the phone until the cab driver showed up and when he stopped I got in the back super fast. 

He was an older guy and just laughed at me. 

I told him where to take me, showed him I had cash and he drove away. 

I thought it odd he didn’t ask why I was naked, I figured at his age he’d seen it all, he was about 50 I think.

We got downtown and he pulled over in a small store parking lot. I paid him and got out. 

As he drove away I could hear him laughing again. It was still dark, no one about. 

I hid behind the store to wait for daylight. I was extremely scared, shaking like a leaf and my penis and scrotum were as small as they’ve ever been due to my absolute terror at what I just did.

The store opened at six and it was getting daylight fast. 7 am came and went then I noticed it made me feel odd that I had a watch on. Naked except for a wrist watch, yeah my cheese had slid of my cracker. I took the watch off and stashed it under a bush. I’d come back for it. 

Imagine it, nude about to try and walk miles to get home knowing it was very likely I’d get picked up by the police before anyone else would give me a ride home and worried I’d blown it by wearing a watch.

I never said I was normal.

I started hearing cars drive by, people were getting out and about, it was almost 9 am so I got up, brushed the sand off my ass cheeks and started walking down the side walk. 

The funny part of this is I never know what to do with my hands. Do I cover my bits or just walk normal. I go back and forth with this and still do sometimes. 

Car traffic was building a little. I was getting the occasional honk. One car pulled to the side and the couple inside just watched me walk by then they drove away.

The next car stopped just ahead of me, a guy got out with a camera. He stood there as I approached him and I could hear the camera motors turning as he snapped away. 

I stopped just past him and turned around, he was still taking pictures. I asked for a ride home. He stopped shooting and laughed saying sorry I’ll be late for work. He drove away.

I walked on, I’d gone about ten blocks when the police car pulled up next to me and stopped. I stopped and had my hands over my bits. 

He asked what happened, I told him I got drunk last night and my friends must have left me. I woke up naked behind a store.

He was very cool about it. I was probably not his first naked guy.

He cuffed my hands behind my back and put me in the car. It was then I noticed I had a small audience of about eight watching from the convenience store, we were in the parking lot but out by the street.

We drove off and a few minutes later I noticed he was not going to the police station.

I asked where he was taking me. He said the homeless shelter. He said they’d give me something to wear. 

We got there, he got me out of the car and took the cuffs off then drove away.

It was a big building, it was open. I got pants and a ride home no questions asked.

One more think checked off my bucket list!