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Notes on coming out

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: solotouchme Posted on: 21 May 2003 2 comments
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Remnants of thoughts.I'm noticing that as I come out to you all what I'm doing is writing quite a bit about is my love for drinking my own liquid lifeand descriptions thereof.I am working toward that right now, to tell you the truth. So let's see if I can hold my original thought. I write about drinking my semen. That part has felt really good. I feel like I've been honest with you.I haven't talked much about being repulsed by my semen. That's part of an honest story. I want to express deep empathy for all the men who feel this. God it feels good to say that. I understand what you go thru, the thirst and then having it be unfulfilled.But the thirst is so real.I think deeper in it's a desire to suck my own cock. I've dreamed this a lot and I dreamed it recently. They are the most vivid dreams I have. I mean that would be great. In these dreams, it is totally real: there is no distinction between the dream state and what normally feels like reality. I've experienced this down to orgasm and ejaculation, which rippled and pulsed endlessly in this undulating pleasure involving my urethra, my tongue and my throat, which takes the semen in swallowing in perfect harmony with the experience, I am one unified being.That is what these are dreams of.So why is it strange that I should tell you about this? I mean, it's strange only in that you don't see it often or hear it often, so by definition, out of the ordinary. But I say it anyway. You read it. I take a lot of pleasure in expressing myself. I try to look deeper than my own surface and I try to stretch myself a little when it comes to admitting my pleasure, or describing it.We read about other people's experiences of orgasm all the time here. If you've written to solo, I know something about your sweetest pleasure. Repulsion. That was what I forgot to say. I've alluded to it. Most of the men who drink their semen talk about it and admit... I say it here... the desire builds to orgasm and the surrender but when the wave of climax passes and the semen issues forth is instantly impossible and even the memory of the desire is weird. So there's a let down and the yearning is unfilled. That's my deep desire, to fill the yearning at its depth. I can sit here and say to you that I want to drink my semen. The thought sends a wave of heat through my body.But I am pre-orgasm. At this point I know it's going to happen. My room, the mirrorchamber, the altar, the place where I've felt so many things and fucked so many women on the bed there, some hot women, cum into their soft bodies.But more than anything I've masturbated here. I've honestly done my best to satisfy myself sexually. I've allowed myself any phantasy. I've masturbated on the phone with some of my hottest girlfriends far away. Mostly I've masturbated here alone, in the bed, in the dark, wetting my sheets and sleeping in my cool cum. On the way to those orgasms, I pretty much know I'm not going to cum drink, but I do allow myself the fantasy of it. A lot of times, I've gotten hot enough to get out of bed and be on the floor and fuck my ass, almost always sitting up. Because I know orgasm will be better, deeper, I will be able to see myself. I look so strange but I love myself anyway and when I swallow it's really good.