Margot - Episode 5

At the age of 15, my parents thought it a good idea to bring my attention to a weekend job in a nursery home for (mostly) demented women. They even thought of it as something voluntary, Samaritan-like. When I investigated it, just to please my parents, I found out it paid quite well for about 6 hours every Saturday and Sunday. In most cases it was just 3 staff members, if you could call it that way. A nurse, a guy and me. Most nurses were polite, but nothing more. I haven’t much to tell about them. In most cases they were busy tucking people in their bed and helping them to the toilet or bed stool. Good grief, I hated those stools. Somehow nobody seemed to deposit their excrement neatly in it. Every now and then I played cards with people, who where able to remember the rules, until dinnertime. Dinnertime was busy, and the cleaning up afterwards was even more tiresome. At about 8 o’clock most people were in bed, some of them watching television. The only thing left to do for me was keeping an eye one the people until the night crew of two nurses would arrive.

At first, after a rushed interview, my surprise was even bigger. It had nothing to do with church, except Liam. If my parents knew anything about this guy, they wouldn’t let me get anywhere near him. He was nice, and certainly not a hypocrite. But somehow, quite a lot of people misjudged him severely. So Liam was, at least formally, part of our church and I’ve never heard him swear or talk anything negative about it. He was also the one who gave me a first sip of vodka. Burned hellishly, but I got used to it and I became fond of it.

I hated Brad, Liam’s twin brother, but it didn’t matter much. Brad was popular both at school and in our church and never seemed to notice me. Although the two guys resembled each other, they differed like day and night. Like I said, Brad was popular because he was handsome, sporty and able to say the right things on every occasion. Liam was more the guy who went along. Quirky and a bit mysterious in a nice, sheepish way. He seemed to walk his own path, without much fuss about it. Liam was also gay. At the time I got to know him better on the weekends, he was figuring out what made his clock tick, in almost every way. And I? I was a inexperienced goofball.

What I’m going to tell you happened in the beginning of our century, so there wasn’t much internet to talk about. I worked from 3 o’clock in the afternoon till half past nine. Sometimes a bit later. I really liked the job because of the payment, but as time progressed I was also looking forward to the sips of vodka and just hanging around with Liam. While cycling home I was chewing gum to make sure my breath wouldn’t raise any suspicion.

So far, so good. I was drinking at an illegal age and making money in secret. I mostly saved the money for a better future, I knew very little about life and the world. Liam on the other hand seemed to have no inclination besides drinking and hanging around with his offbeat friends. His grades were good enough, he showed up at church meetings. But even then it felt like he wasn’t there. The dark side of it all was him ending his own life at 27.

I hesitate to call it a sexual encounter, but it marked quite some point in my development. One Sunday night I was wandering through a ward when my attention was drawn to light coming from a vacant room. Because of the soft sneakers my steps were not to be heard. Some soft mumbled noises could be heard, which made me even more curious. Quietly I took a peek in the room and was shocked by what I saw. Nowadays it wouldn’t do much for me, but then it was a novel experience. Liam had his jeans lowered on his knees and was leaning back on a table. His hand was around his penis, which was a bit longer than I had ever seen or imagined. How could he be so inconsiderate? Some sort of magazine was on the table beside him. Apart from a glance for a few seconds on the magazine Liam had closed his eyes and was not aware of anything else. I watched the scene for what seemed like a minute and walked away.

Later on, I secretly examined the room and found his magazine. Filled with naked men. Mostly just naked men, only a few had an enlarged penis like Liam. Later on, that night, I cycled home. This was my first time arousal because of somebody else. I came home, nobody was around so I took a snack, showered and went to bed. The feeling was still there. The urge, the unease, almost like a soreness. Luckily I had some experience with self relief so I let my index finger push on the nob of all attention. Just pushing and bucking my hips. Not very effective, but it worked. Waves of pleasure through my young body and a deep satisfaction. More than I had experienced so far. Afterwards sleep took it’s hold on me and I plunged into a dreamless slumber.