Just Built Different XD

Heyyyyy :) first off, thanks so much for all the encouragement you all have given me on my posts here.. wow I literally never expected to find such acceptance and community for this part of my life XD. It's been soooo amazing for me as a 30's-ish, bi, pervy single mom of one son, who has been a closeted nympho for virtually my entire life LOL. I won't delve into all the dirty details of my journey here (since so many of my submissions have been rejected seemingly), but I did want to write something today since mommy's finally got a full weekend to have some 'me time' after wayyyy too long :) ugh.

Seriously. You guys have no idea how enthralling this is for me... my son is at a friend's for the whole weekend. I just reupped on my fav aphrodesiacs ;) and have the house all to myself ugh!!! So you already know what that means ;;))) wow just thank you so much again to all the readers and fellow devotees of this delightful secret world of porn, pleasure, and prolonged masturbation experiences... I only opened up about this side of me like 2-ish years ago online, mainly because I couldn't hold my enthusiasm in any longer. It was just an exercise to get myself off harder at the time. I never expected to receive such glowing, incredible responses from people!!! Sooo many passionate perverts like myself who get uncontrollably turned on by the same... niche things :P (like inc*st, but this post isn't about that! Mods pls let me publish this one lol).

Sooooo yah, basically, that unexpected encouragement and community (specifically on ST where I feel the most love & support) has been a game-changer for me as a woman with a voracious appetite for porn and masturbation. Seriously. I was already on my own path of self-acceptance and sexual healing/liberation, pushing myself to embrace these parts of me fully with no guilt/shame/fear, but wow!!! The validation and countless naughty interactions I've found as a result of this site and this outlet (writing about my hyper-slutty experiences while masturbating lloololol)---that has truly been the best blessing imaginable for this freaky chick!!! I've even grown more perverse and sexually corrupt than I originally planned LOL due to the synergy of connecting with like-minded kinksters online... so tysm again and pls keep the encouragement and dm's coming!!! I'm not on as frequently as I'd like, but I DO value and cherish all of the input ESPECIALLY the naughty encouraging horny slutty comments & messages ;)

This post is just about how I feel like I am fundamentally wired differently from other women and girls. And believe that a lot of you guys are too, prolly. And how that's amazing and something to celebrate!!!! Not shame or hide from ourselves. It's fine to hide our perversions from most people lol. But only as a practical matter...

Whyy? Because truthfully speaking, I've raised my son 100% on my own, and if anyone ever found out about my secret double life as a bi nympho porn-loving slut (not to mention inc*stuous af to boot), then they'd probably question my motherhood and maybe even get me in trouble. But even without having a son, the norms for sexuality for adult females are simply ridiculous. I'm really grateful that sex work and wanting sex for pleasure is being more widely accepted nowadays (as opposed to when I grew up in the 90's, in which you'd have to choose between a life working in adult film and your lifelong career/life/reputation). BUT! That's such a small part of the larger spectrum of hyper-sexuality for us females.. it's nowhere close to safe for a bi nympho slut like me to openly talk about my experience. It probably won't ever be fully accepted by the masses, which is actually fine by me since I'm a private person lol. But!!!! What that robs us 'misfit' hypersexual females of in development is learning to love ourselves for who and what we are. I had to internalize all the stigma and hate for empowered/liberated sexual women growing up then unpack it for years in my 20's--largely on my own! But boy am I glad I did :)

What do I mean by that? Well, here's a snapshot of my reality: I'm a bisexual single mom in my 30's. I grew up absolutely in love with masturbating. I learned how to pleasure myself on my own early in life, then had some extra factors that nudged me along on my path, then started deliberately choosing to embrace those extra factors almost like cheat codes to get my pussy off more and more over time. Like, I shaped my own relationship with my sexuality consciously after the first few years. I did that because I fucking love 'The Feeling,' as I call it, that my pussy and body experience when I masturbate. I love it more than probably anything else in life besides my own son actually. Before him, I lived primarily to get myself off and maximize my sexual pleasure in every possible way. That means every chance I got to be in private more than 5 minutes, I was masturbating. I wanted to intensify my pleasure and orgasms. I also wanted to prolong and multiply them. Those were 2 distinct drives that I've invested in religiously for decades now. I loved the Feeling soooooo much when I first began humping furniture and pillows. It enraptured me completely. I felt like I was in heaven as soon as I leaned over my favorite magic stool that gave my pussy the most pleasure. Literally. Time slowed down. I went into a trance. And The Feeling completely consumed my mind, body and brain. It never got old. In fact, the more I masturbated, and the harder I made myself climax, I actually noticed my pleasure increase with each session. That REALLY got me going! The prospect of enhancing and growing my experience of The Feeling? I was like YES sign me up. So I treated masturbation like a sport after that realization. I knew I could refine and build my skills with intense, repetitive practice every single day. So that's what I did :) for hours every. single. day. 

I noticed all the little things that would enhance the Feeling.. the angle of my body. Nudity. My arousal levels. My warm-ups. What I focused on mentally. The pressure on my Sweet Spot right above my clit.. ugh. I'm drooling right now naming all of them. I soaked it all up. Let's just say that. Every single thing that enhanced my masturbation experience, I made part of my ritual. I incorporated it into my practice sessions. It's been an obsessive compulsive quest that lives to this day.. and it just keeps getting better and better!!! Seriously.

That's how I got so into porn too. Females aren't usually associated with a love for porn. I'm absolutely addicted to my favorite tab** hardcore porn!!! I'm a goonette to the bone, and have been since long before learning that term. I'm more obsessed with porn than 99.9% of dudes. I'm also a perfectionist and a curator with it.. I collect full length HD videos from my fav. pornstars then create my own custom mash-ups and edits.. with really lewd repetitive slow motion clips back-to-back that perfectly pump up my arousal like crazy. It's meticulous and insane in my level of detail and obsession. Why? Because my sessions now last anywhere from 3 to 12+ hours!!!! LOL XD

That's what you get when you mix OCD-level devotion to self-pleasure and 20+ years of practice. I prolong The Feeling to edge my pussy for hours every single time I masturbate. I medicate myself with a combo of aphrodesiacs that rock my world XXD which I've also crafted over many years to get juuuuuust right! DM me if you want me to elaborate ;) but it's absolutely fucking earth-shattering when I'm in that zone.. ugh I fucking love it.

I gotta wrap soon cuz my pussy is dripping now. Here's my point: I've invested thousands of hours into carefully refining my self-pleasure ritual. To maximize and prolong my pleasure. Intentionally. Greedily. Hungrily. Perversely. Limitlessly. As a bisexual female who's simply in love with the Feeling. I've done this purposefully. I was embarrassed and ashamed for a long time about this side of me. But I never actually slowed down or stopped because it felt too fucking good. I could never get my mind off masturbation during the day at school or work. I looked forward to my 'me time' more than anything, every. single. day. I actively fed myself hardcore porn and collected my favorite scenes to watch in slow motion on repeat... for hours. Getting more and more hyper-aroused each hour. Knowingly turning up the volume on my pussy's sensitivity and my mind's perversion. Because I live for THE FEELING!!!! I almost feel like I'm autistic and that porn and pleasure have been my special interests all along LOL!!! I just understood inherently that my rituals were private and nobody needed to know how hypersexual I truly am. Because I never want to fucking stop Lol. My sexual peaks are simply on another level than most women, I believe. And I'm just so grateful for that now that I've embraced this lifestyle omggggg. Yes!!!!! That's my ultimate message here: Embrace who and what you are fully. Unabashedly. Privately too lol. But with yourself? Let loose and don't hold back, babes. Release all guilt/fear/shame/hesitation. Seriously. It's all just internalized stigma. Reject that shit outright.

YOU DESERVE TO EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SEXUAL PLEASURE AS YOU DESIRE. FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. AS FREQUENTLY AS POSSIBLE. AS INTENSELY AS POSSIBLE. WITH WHATEVER STIMULI GET YOU OFF THE MOST. That makes you feel the Feeling like I do for a reason!!! It's how we're wired.. we're built differently from others, and that's okay!!!! It's actually A BLESSING!!!! WHY?

... You already know why ;)

It feels so. fucking. good. better than anything else by light years. it's okay to indulge. to adore it. to live for this Feeling!!! It's just who we are at our core as humans--we extra naughty pervs and gooners and goonettes. Embrace it with me, please! I love you guys ;) tysm