I suffered from a very late puberty. I thought I was asexual because I didnt get turned on like other people.
When I was 13, all my girlfriends at school had boobs and pubic hair. They all talked periods, about this and that boy and how attractive he was, and how they got wet knickers thinking about him. They talked about orgasms and playing with themselves and how amazing it was. I just nodded and agreed with them, not wanting to appear the odd one out. In truth, it was all completely alien to me. I was flat as a pancake, a few whispy pubes you could almost count on one hand and no concept of sexual arousal. I looked at the boys they talked about and felt nothing. What was this wetness that got them so worked up? My mum was useless. All she kept saying was that it would be my turn soon! The only person I could talk to about any of this was my cousin. She was 19 and at college. She was so kind to me, explaining about puberty, hormones and sexual attraction and arousal. She told me some girls were just later than others and it didnt make me the freak I was feeling. All I could do was hope it would soon be my turn.
14 years old and nothing yet. Then 15. I read up about it on the new thing called the internet in the library at school. It said that some people had hormonal issues and late onset puberty but it also mentioned asexuality. So that was it ! I was asexual and didnt feel sexual arousal at all. Then, a couple of months before my 16th birthday it hit me like a train! I felt knackered all the time, headaches, irritable, tingling boobs and, holy shit, my pussy started creaming and I just wanted to touch myself all the time! Finally I got it ! I just kept rubbing my clit till I was climbing the walls, several times a day. I liked this orgasm thing!
The next few months were a fast learning curve and again, my cousin came to the rescue. She sorted me out for sanitary wear and advice. She told me much more about sex and ideas for masturbating, including my first vibrator. One thing still eluded me. I still didnt get the gooey knickers looking at boys like my girlfriends described, although I was having so much fun masturbating I didn't care!
When I was 16 I started playing tennis a bit more seriously at a club. I loved it and teamed up with a girl called Emily. We became firm friends and won a few doubles tournaments locally. After that we became typical BFFs and hung out together all the time. She kind of took over from my cousin as my goto person for intimate chats and she was the first person I told that I didn’t fancy boys.
After one tennis club victory, we celebrated with our first glass of champagne with our parents. They were chatting away and Emily and I found ourselves alone. At the other side of the bar, a couple of guys were giving us the eye. Emily smiled back and they came over and started chatting. Eventually, Emily left with him, leaving me with the other guy. He was nice enough and clearly liked me but again, no attraction or wet panties on my part. My parents beckoned me over and wanted to leave so we said our goodbyes and they went back to the car. I was looking for Emily to say goodbye and eventually found her in a deserted locker room with the guy she had left with. He had his hand up her skirt and they were kissing so deeply they didnt notice me for a minute. I watched as he was obviously fingering her pussy. She was breathing hard and wriggling on his fingers for more pressure. Suddenly she opened her eyes and saw me. She was not happy I had interrupted her make out session, so I just turned and left them to it. It hurt. It felt like a betrayal of our friendship. In hindsight of course, she was perfectly entitled to act on her own sexual feelings. Just because I didn’t have any, why should she stop.
When I got back to my room, I starting sobbing my heart out and got extremely emotional. I was picturing her kissing the boy and him fingering her up her skirt. It was only later, when I was in bed masturbating myself to sleep as usual, that I first made a connection which changed my life. I wasn’t jealous of Emily having fun at all. I was picturing his fingers sliding in and out of her wet pussy and their passionate kissing, and it dawned on me that I was jealous of him for having her. She was mine, I wanted her as a friend and a lover. I wanted to finger her pussy, kiss her, and so much more. I came really hard that night imagining being in bed with her and all the things we should try. The next morning (fortunately it was a Sunday) I called my cousin. I told her I had figured out why I wasn’t aroused by boys. I was a lesbian.
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