Gay (or I Guess Bi) Awakening

Like most people I can look at a girl and think she’s pretty. It never occurred to me that I might actually be attracted to them until I was 13. I couldn’t sleep so I flipped through the HBOs and turned on Harold and Kumar. The scene with the bottomless party came on and I remember thinking that is so unhygienic, these girls are walking around this set with their genitals out, what if they accidentally pee or bleed or squirt and get the whole place contaminated? I loved the idea of that. I started wondering what it would be like if I was in that situation. The thought of getting a place or a person I barely knew dirty with my sex drove me wild. For the next couple weeks, anything I could do naked I did naked. Homework, exercise, cleaning. I made sure when I peed I didn’t wipe, I wanted to get my room dirty. I found more movies with full frontal nudity and oh man, the orgasms those couple weeks were some of the most intense of my life.

Two years of occasionally masturbating to women went by. I was 15 now and most of my closest friends were guys. One of them, Jeff, had a little sister named Jessica that I was equally close with. She and I both only had brothers so we became like the sisters we never had. She was basically a small adult; we talked with her about politics and business and health. And she was really beautiful. Clear, tan skin with very dark eyes, one freckle on her left cheekbone, soft, thin lips, with surprisingly round hips and muscular calves for her age. By my estimate she was about 4’10”, 100 lbs, 18-20” waist, 34A.

One day Jeff was out, Jessica knocked on my door and asked if I was busy. I was just watching tv so I let her in. She closed my door and said something like, “I need to talk to someone about something and I figure you’re the best person.”

“What is it?”

“Promise you won’t judge me?”

“Of course.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”

“Oh. How do you know?”

“It’s not that I don’t think boys are attractive, I’ve just heard people talk about what makes a great boyfriend and it doesn’t sound that great at all. Now, I’ve heard about lesbian couples and how they always seem so in love and equal in the relationship and actually support each other and honestly I want that.”

“Okay. You seem like you’ve thought a lot about this,” I said.

“I have. Does it make sense? Or do you think I’m just going through a phase?”

“I doubt it. How long have you felt this way?”

“About a year and a half.”

“That doesn’t sound like a phase to me. I’ve kinda been like, I like one kind of guy for a while, and then I like a different kind of guy, but I’m always me and I’ve always wanted the same things romantically.”

To clarify, I’m different from Jessica. I love dating men. I love being spoiled, I love being submissive sexually, I love being cuddled by someone strong and brave. I’ve never dated a woman but I wouldn’t go so far as to say I never would.

“Do you feel okay about it?” I asked.

“I do. I just wanted to be sure. It’s a little confusing.”

“I understand. It took me a while to realize I like girls. I’m not sure why. I mean, it’s completely normal. It’s actually more common than you realize.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. When you get older and see more you’ll realize more women than you might think are at the very least attracted to other women and totally okay being intimate with some. You’re not alone in this, believe me.”

“Wow. That’s…really great. How old were you when you realized?”

“I’ve always been able to look at a girl and think she’s pretty, but it didn’t really get beyond that until I was 13.” Then I told her the Harold and Kumar story.

“Could we…could we watch it?” she asked.

“I’m not sure your parents would like that.”

“I promise I won’t tell them.”

“Have you never seen another woman naked before?”

“No. But when I touch myself down there, either to wash or put a tampon in or whatever, and it feels good, thoughts of other girls in my class come into my mind. Their lips, their hair, some of them are so pretty.”

I found that scene on a porn site and let her watch. Her eyes were super wide and her breathing gradually got faster. “Do you like what you see?” I asked her.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

“If you need to masturbate go ahead, I don’t mind.”

“Is that, like, when I rub myself?”

“Yeah, it’s sorta like the same feeling as having sex.”

She looked down at herself then said, “I don’t know if I feel comfortable doing that around someone else.”

“That’s totally okay.”

There was a pause then she said, “Can I be honest?” I nodded. “Please don’t hate me for this but you’re one of the girls that comes to mind when I…you know.” She motioned downward.

“Hey, that’s okay. Totally fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If I’m being honest, I kinda like that idea. I masturbate a lot, sometimes to guys, sometimes to girls, so I love being able to help anyone reach that same feeling.”

She stared at me. “Can I… never mind.”

“What? Ask me anything, it’s okay.”

“I’ve always wanted to do this with another girl. Can I cuddle you?”

“Absolutely.”

So we laid down on my bed and she wrapped herself around me which was weird because I was several inches taller than her and was built bigger. But she seemed to enjoy it. Started stroking my hair. “Do you feel okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said in a giddy voice.

We started talking more about boobs and periods and eventually got to horniness. “When something happens that makes you excited and makes you want to have sex, you’ll start to feel a tingle and it’ll start to feel a little wet,” I told her.

“I figured that’s what that was.”

“Are you feeling that right now? Because I am a little bit.”

“Would you be mad if I was?”

“No, of course not.”

“Good because I’ve felt that before but not like this. Everything feels really numb.”

“Would you let me see?” I asked her.

“Um…I don’t know. Should I?”

“I promise to keep it between us. It’s alright, I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable.”

We both rolled over and she took off her pants and then her underwear. Pussies are so pretty I was so excited to see hers. It was like a perfect V with a slit down the middle and a little bit of brown hair. Her hips were very shapely for her age. There was definite wetness. “Want me to show you what to do?” I asked.

“I guess.”

I reached down and touched her vagina and it was amazing. So soft, so dirty. I felt so connected to her and the rush of knowing I was touching both the most intimate and the least hygienic part of her. I wanted to get filthy from her and never clean it off.

I slowly and gently spread her lips open to find a clit standing straight up rock hard. “This is called edging, you just gently rub up and down your lips.”

Her whole body shuddered. “Oh, my goodness. Wow. It’s like, it kind of tickled, but…”

“It’s more like a tingle?”

“Yeah. It was almost, like, electric.”

I kept going for a bit. “And this is your clit. It has the most nerve endings so rubbing it feels really good.” I started rubbing her clit and she let out a slight shriek. “You okay?”

“Yeah, that just felt amazing.”

I kept rubbing and her pussy kept getting  wetter. I really wanted to taste her so I started sucking on my fingers. “Whoa, what are you doing?” she asked.

“This is a thing. You taste really good.” She did. A little like pee but mostly sweet.

“That’s so gross,” she said. “You were just touching my vagina.”

“I’m sorry. This is a thing for some people. Vaginas taste pretty good.” They’re an acquired taste, but I like it.

“Who the fuck thought to taste that?”

“People give oral sex. Either lick a pussy or suck a dick.”

She looked at me in horror. “That is so gross.”

“You’re young. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

She paused then said, “It really tastes good?”

“I think so.”

“What does it taste like?”

“Hard to describe. A little bit like pee, a little bit like sweat.”

“That’s disgusting.” She got a little on her fingers then smelled them. “Yeah, that’s disgusting.”

There was an awkward silence. “Are you done? Do you want to stop?”

She hesitated. “Your fingers did feel really good though. Is putting them inside a thing?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Does it feel like a tampon?”

“It’s more firm.”

She gently put her pointer finger inside. “Huh.”

“Try two fingers,” I told her.

She slid her middle finger inside.“Now, like, move them in and out.”

She started slowly. “Oh wow. That’s pretty good.” After a couple minutes, she said, “Sorry, were you wanting to do this too? We’ve just been focusing on me the whole time.”

“That’s alright.”

“I kinda want to watch what you do.”

“Okay, sure.” I got completely naked then sat down across from her.

“Whoa,” Jessica said.

“What?”

“Your body,” she said.

When I was 15 I was probably about 5’3”, 120-130 lbs, 34-38B. Probably about a 24-26” waist. I have green eyes, small lips, thick brown hair and am on the paler side. I smiled and thanked her. I was never self-conscious about my body because I saw girls with my body type or maybe even a little bigger and thought they were still gorgeous and sexy. I honestly love my body.

I sat down with my legs apart. My pussy is a little puffy and completely hairless. In this position you can see a little pink. I took my middle and ring fingers and started thrusting them in and out like I always do, quick and just a little hard.

“Jeez,” Jessica said. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

“It did at first but I’m kind of desensitized to it.”

“How often do you do this?”

“Usually once a day.” I kept going and eventually got really wet. My eyes went back and forth between Jessica’s pretty face and her sweet pussy.

She asked if she could feel and I excitedly agreed. She walked over and started squeezing my left boob. Then she gently ran a couple fingers over my pussy which tickled blissfully. “Wow, it’s really wet.” She then smelled me on her fingers and let out a deep sigh. “It’s like, it smells gross, but also kinda good knowing it’s from you.”

“Exactly,” I said.

I asked if she was alright if I gave her oral but she refused. I asked her for one more thing I had been dying to see. “Can I watch you pee?”

“You’re gross,” she said.

“Is that a no?’

“No, just don’t touch me after, okay?”

I smiled and thanked her. We walked to my bathroom still naked. “You can stand in the shower and do it.”

She stood over the drain and let out her stream. It was enthralling. It combined the best things about the innocence of youth and the power of her womanhood, seeing her pussy dripping like that. I so wanted to be standing under her.

“Your turn,” she said when she finished.

“Really?” I asked excitedly.

“Yeah, this felt really good.”

We switched and I stood over the drain and let my pee flow. It was warm and wet and felt great, and was even better knowing Jess was watching and enjoying. I was so horny I was about to scream so I looked right in her eyes and started finger fucking myself again. She followed and we stood there in my shower watching each other rub our pussies. After about two minutes my fingers were soaked, my pussy went numb and my knees gave out a little. Jessica took much longer but after rubbing her clit for a while she shrieked and her knees also gave out a little.

We hooked up a few more times after that. She eventually opened up to the idea of tasting each other and let my eat her out. It was surreal, being so close, tasting so much of her womanhood.