My friend George told me this story on the weekend and I had to share it.
George is a single father with twin girls. His wife died when the girls were 11. They are now in their 20s but this happened when they were 14.
They had just moved into a new house that had two large bedrooms that shared a bathroom. The plan was for each girl to have their own room for the first time. That lasted about a week until they moved both beds into one room and had the desks, TV and stereo stuff in the other.
George was fixing a leaky sink in the girl's bathroom one day and cleaned out all the stuff under the counter. One of the items was a shoe box that contained several large cucumbers and a jar of Vaseline.
It took him a moment to realize just what he was looking at. He recalled that a few days before he and the girls had gone grocery shopping and they had spent way too much time selecting cucumbers. Horrified, he put everything back where he found it.
That night he called his sister in law, Julie, who was the younger sister of his wife and told her what he had found. She said that she would talk to the girls about it.
That weekend, she took the girls out for lunch and some shopping. When they returned home, George was working in the lawn and the girls just got out of the car, stomped into the house without looking at him or saying a word.
Julie said that everything was OK and if the girls did not explain what was going on to call her later that night.
As the girls did not come out of their room, he called Julie to talk.
She said that over lunch she had explained what George had found. The girls were terribly embarrassed and explained that using cucumber dildos was the 'in thing' for the grade 8 girls at school. They went as far as having cucumber sleepover parties.
Julie explained that cucumbers and Vaseline were not very healthy and that the girls might get infections.
Julie assured George that there would be no more masturbating with cucumbers. 'How can you be so sure?' asked George.
'Because we went to LoveCraft and I bought them both vibrators, I got a new one too' was the reply. George was speechless, 'You did what?'
'Dildos or boys, George' was Julie's answer, 'Your choice'
Over the following days the girls were rather cold with their father but everything went back to normal after a few days.
However for weeks they tortured him by making cucumber salads every night and putting cucumber sandwiches in his lunch.