This was when I was in college aged about 18. One night I was sitting in my friend Paul's college bedroom on the bed. We had met a few months ago and got on, but recently things had been somehow awkward between us. We'd catch each others eye's as we watched each other around the campus and for some reason we would row about silly things. My friend was a bit older than me (around 20), but the best way I could describe things was that it felt like the stupid arguments brothers might have. Anyway I decided I would try and find out what was going wrong and that's why that night I went to his room.
Things started out fine, we agreed that perhaps we were just hanging out together too much and getting tetchy from that. What wasn't being admitted is that between the two of us there was something else going on that we couldn't talk about.
Paul suddenly sat down beside me on the bed and told me that he really cared about me, that he hated the way things were going. He said he couldn't explain why he was so argumentative, perhaps, he slowly admitted, he was getting too fond of me.
I was surprised at this and also very aware of being anxious. I was actually trembling and I didn't know why. I didn't know much about friendships and them getting attached. I had been very shy as a teenager with only a couple of real friends and although in the past I might have had some sexy thoughts about them I just put this down to being a randy but very shy and isolated teen.
It was the same with Paul, I had wondered sometimes if he had a wank or even once what it would be like to do it together, but never mentioned this to anyone, least of all him. I knew from growing up that I had the ability to feel aroused by boys, but just thought this was all part of growing up. I'd had a couple friendships with girls and fantasised about them feeling me up and making me cum, so I believed I was just like everyone else but perhaps a bit slower. My only real experience was hugging a girl and feeling myself getting a boner, which I hid very quickly. I wasn't any kind of stud.
Paul sitting next to me, noticed the trembling and just asked, 'what's up', moving closer. Then he put his arm round my shoulder and said 'don't be afraid of me I wouldn't ever hurt you'.
The fact of just being together, side by side with our legs touching and his arm round me was strangely erotic and I started to get hard. My penis was trapped in my underpants which were an old pair of white briefs, not my usual type at all (at that time nobody young wore white underpants any more) and I started to try and wriggle to let it expand and hide it better. This was really embarrassing.
The only problem was now Paul noticed my boner, probably by my trying so hard to hide it. With his other hand, he reached for my zip and pulled it down exposing my old pants. I must admit I was more embarrassed about them, at first than what he was doing.
I didn't stop him, or protest, somehow this seemed right even though I'd never done anything with another lad before. Paul's actions made my erection free itself and it stood up tenting my briefs. What he did next was to me unreal, he put his forefinger under the head of my penis and just rubbed it a little through the thick cloth.
Stop! I said, but he took no notice and just carried on circling the sensitive underside. It felt wrong, it felt great, it was dirty, it was unbelievable. Whatever it was, I'd never felt anything like it before and I didn't want it to stop.
Suddenly, without much warning I exploded in my underpants. The fact I'd had my usual wank earlier that day didn't make any difference. My undies were soaked through. Even if I rubbed it myself (as I had done in a lecture or two) I never came like this, I never had cum this way, ever.
Shocked, unsure what to do, I just stood up and ran out of the room fastening my pants as I went back to my room.
Sitting in my own room in the block, I alternately relived it, beat myself up about it and all the time wondered about our friendship. How would we face each other now. At the same time I was wiping out my pants and belly amazed at the fact I had cum so quickly and powerfully.
Then a knock on the door, it was Paul, apologetic and begging me to forget it happened and trying to explain it away as obviously just something I needed and anyone would have reacted the same.
I didn't know what to do, but I knew I didn't want to lose Paul's friendship and then from nowhere (otherwise known as my real desires), I got the idea and the courage to do what I did next. I muttered something about how it didn't matter and pulled him towards me and hugged him. Just like I had done a short while earlier, I felt him begin to grow hard and as he began to wriggle away embarrassed by his own response I reacted.
As he moved back I tripped him onto the bed and as he landed I straddled him. He looked frightened obviously thinking I was about to hurt him and began to say don't hit me please, I just told him to shush and then said it was my turn now.
I pulled his T-shirt out of his jeans and then undid the button at the waist. By now his eyes were fixed on my hands and he watched as I in turn unzipped him and opened his jeans.
I remember he was wearing orange briefs, more like the one's I normally wore, but I'd never seen him undressed so I commented on the bright colour which made him try and zip up. I just pushed his hands away and said it's OK, only joking.
His penis now was tented up straining the fabric and so I said perhaps I needed to help him feel more comfortable. As I said it, I lifted the waistband of his underpants over the head and grabbed his shaft. He bucked and groaned, but didn't fight me off which he could have done.
I started to wank him then, moving my other hand over his chest. I'd never done this to anyone else but myself before, but I just used the method I did for myself, steady pumping and a break every so often. He started sweating by now but from his wriggling about I guessed he wasn't too unhappy.
I stopped after he began to catch his breath a bit, obviously about to shoot and asked 'should I stop now'
No! he gasped, 'keep going' and as I started to move my hand again he shot his load all over his lower belly.
I lowered his underpants onto the puddle-I thought he should share the sensation I was having but then without a word he grabbed me and hugged me tight. We stayed that way for some time, I remember.
That was the beginning of a long friendship which lasted all through college and for a while beyond. We often wanked each other (and later did more) but I always recall that first night, when he woke me up to my true nature.