This is my first contribution here. I have read and been very excited by many of the stories here. I think the best part of reading others' experiences here is that I realize I am not so strange or different than many others. This is a long story but that's just the way it came out. I hope you like it.
I am 29 now, and this sequence of events started when I was just 13. I have never talked about this with anyone else, let alone writing it all down like this. These are such highly personal memories, I hope as I begin to write that I can finish the whole story.
My name is Matthew and I was an early bloomer. One day I just noticed in the bathtub that I had grown hair around my privates and it was disturbing and very confusing to me. This seemed to have happened overnight! I was sure none of my friends had this problem, I didn't ask anyone but I was seriously concerned that something was wrong with me.
Also about this time I began feeling unexplainable warm feelings for other boys who had been 'just friends' before. I would enjoy lying in bed at night, slipping my hand inside my pajamas and rolling around my newly grown penis and testicles in my hand, cupping them and massaging them till my penis would stand stiff and erect. I enjoyed the feeling but didn't know what else to do, I just caressed and squirmed and wiggled with tingling delight.
My curiosity about my own body had led me to begin to observe more closely the older boys in my neighborhood, and at the swimming pool I noticed for the first time that these high school boys had hair under their arms and some even on their stomachs running in a thin and light fuzzy line down below their belly buttons to disappear into their swimming trunks. I realized that I had acquired the same condition as these older boys but well ahead of my friends. That was comforting to me.
Overcome with curiosity I began to pay visits to the pool shower room for the first time that summer, and while I kept my newly developing body hidden from the rest, pretending to be busy washing my feet off, I looked with newfound awe at the well-developed wet naked bodies of these high school boys, most probably sixteen and seventeen years old. I felt something new inside from this experience that I couldn't explain, something that felt both wonderfully exciting and very guilty at the same time. It was a tingling that started in my groin and radiated up through my body whenever I saw these older boys or even when I simply thought of them while lying in bed alone at night.
Someone reading this would conclude 'OK, so he realized he was gay'. And that would be a reasonable conclusion. Except I did not realize I was gay. I also was attracted to girls, at least I thought I was. Looking back now I know I really was attracted to girls in a way, but my attraction to other boys, especially those older than me was a deeper, more animal urge. It frightened me because I felt I could not control it, it ruled me and I felt it would take me over. Sometimes I'd awake in the morning with a powerful dream experience freshly imprinted on my brain, a dream of sex with another guy, hot sex that involved kissing and sucking and jerking each other. I had learned to jerk off and could make sperm, and once I had learned about it I did it quite a lot, always in bed at night before I went to sleep. Sometimes I would do it twice in a row with only a minute of rest in between. I will admit now that while I had a little stash of Playboys I liked to look at, my real masturbation fantasies were about boys at school I had seen, and then about those older boys at the pool. I tried to think about girls too, especially as I got close to cumming, but I usually forgot and my thoughts at that moment of climax-bliss were usually focused on the high school boys I knew by their faces but not by their names.
In junior high I found that other boys my age were suddenly annoying to me. They were silly and stupid the way they acted, farting and burping and acting like the little kids they were. They hadn't changed, but I had. My mother got angry at me for laying around the house instead of hanging out with my friends. But I suddenly had no interest in playing spies or cowboys any more. I'd ask to walk to the pool every chance I could get, but my Mom did not like me going alone, and there was no one I really wanted to go with me. Then, when I got there I was too shy to meet anyone, so I would just stare longingly at the older boys and feel sorry for myself.
That's when I noticed Billy. Billy was probably 16 or 17 and handsome and popular. He was about six feet tall with tanned skin and brown hair that fell over one eye. He wasn't skinny but he wasn't really well-built either. He just had a normal kind of body. He smiled a lot and had straight white teeth. He had hair under his arms, and on his legs and he had that unbelievably erotic little trail of hair reaching down under his belly button, that just seemed to invite me to follow it to its end as it disappeared into his shorts.
But his eyes were what were really different. They were what I probably now what I'd call bedroom eyes, big and expressive and soft, with long curly lashes and in the most beautiful shade of deep yellow-green. When Billy would speak he'd look right into your eyes with his. He laughed easily and everyone liked him. I had never met him but I was in love.
Billy had a hot rod car. It was a Camaro or Mustang (I'm not real good with cars) but it had chrome wheels and stripes and a loud engine. I learned to listen for him coming, and even when I was dozing, my subconscious mind would be alert for the sound of that rumbling exhaust and would wake me up as he approached.
At the pool I would always pick a chair near the place that Billy's friends sat, because I knew that if he came he'd sit nearby and I could at least look at him and listen to him talk and laugh. I knew I would never have had the courage to talk to him myself, but just being near him made me feel good, and if I sat just right I could study him when he couldn't see me looking, I would lay on my belly, and usually eventually having an erection as a result of my thoughts, I'd push it into the mesh of the chair webbing to feel the pleasurable sensations that pushed back. I found if I dozed off at a moment like this I could make myself dream about what it would be like if we were together, Billy and me.
Billy was popular with the girls, and I admired how he was always nice to everyone and made them laugh without being mean. I was staring at the side of Billy's face one day and straining my ears to hear the conversation among his group when one of the girls must have noticed me fixated on Billy, and nudged him to tell him to look my way. I was in a trance-like state, aroused and grinding, when I suddenly realized that Billy and all his friends were looking at me. I felt a head rush as the realization sunk in-I had been caught staring and listening-and I had no idea how long Billy had been looking back my way.
They laughed at my embarrassment as I blushed three shades of red. I couldn't move because my boner would have been totally obvious pushing out from the front of my tight swimming trunks had I turned, so I was trapped. I smiled, I think and said 'hi' in a really nervous way. It occurred to me to pretend I was sleeping, but that would have been really unbelievable since I had been just staring at him with my eyes wide open. Billy said something to his friends I couldn't hear as blood pounded in my ears and everyone laughed again, then they looked away.
My heart was beating like a hammer and my cock suddenly deflated with shame. I felt hot but cold and sweaty at the same time. I looked at the ground and tried to catch my breath and gather my wits. I cursed my weakness and vowed that as soon as they weren't looking I would sneak away and never come back,.
I slunk off to the snack bar to get a drink, and as I was paying, I was shocked to turn and see Billy standing at my elbow. 'Hi' he said. 'My name is Billy. What's yours?'
Of course his name was Billy. I wanted to tell him that everyone knew that! But my voice caught in my throat and I couldn't speak. I stammered and smiled and swallowed, and in a sort of a funny voice I heard myself say, 'I'm Matt'.
Billy brushed his hand on my shoulder and smiled, looking directly into my eyes. 'Sorry about that back there,' he said. 'I wouldn't have liked if that happened to me.'
I looked down at our feet. He was a half head taller than me, and I compared his muscled, smooth haired legs to my skinny ones. 'That's OK', I said, looking up to return his gaze.
I couldn't believe he was really interested in talking to me. I desperately didn't want to screw this up. 'I live a few blocks from here. I can walk here.'
'I have a car' said Billy. 'Maybe I can drive you home sometime?' I knew he had a hot rod car, bit I never imagined riding in it. But neither had I ever imagined Billy would talk to me either.
'Sure, that would be cool' I said casually as I could, at the same time knowing that my mother would not like it at all. She abhorred teenagers with loud cars. And as I was an only child, she was very overprotective of me and lectured me constantly about the dangers of getting in a car with a stranger. But this wasn't a stranger... this was the most beautiful guy in the world. And we could be friends, maybe, I imagined.
As we walked back to our chairs, Billy put his hand on my shoulder and announced to his friends as we got close, 'Hey, this is Matt. He is cool.'
The other teenagers smiled and all said hi to me. I am sure I blushed deep red again. I wasn't good at meeting people, and I admired Billy so much for his kindness, and his natural ability to make others feel at ease.
I had promised I'd be home by four, so I had to leave soon. I desperately wanted to catch Billy's eye to say goodbye, but I was so afraid that this had all been a mistake, that he was forcing himself to be nice to me, and that he'd have forgotten me already. But I needn't have worried. I caught his eye as I stood up. 'I have to go home now' I said to him 'Bye, nice meeting you,'
Billy seemed almost disappointed. 'Bye Matt', he said. 'Will you come back again tomorrow?'
Would I come back again tomorrow? Was he kidding? If he'd be there then so would I. As causally as I could I said 'Yeah, you?'
'I work till three but I'll be here after that. He said. Come later, OK?'
Walking home this was all I could think about. How I would be able to get back to the pool the next day, alone, and with my mother's permission? Billy wanted to see me and I had actually talked to him and he had put his hands on my bare shoulders. It was all too much for me to absorb. Running up to my bedroom I found my cock standing at full attention as I pulled my swimsuit off and put my underwear on. That night in bed he was all I could think about, replaying that conversation at the snack bar in my head over and over and over again.
I masturbated that night thinking of Billy. It probably wasn't the first time I had come with thoughts of him in my mind's eye, but this time was different. This time it felt real. I actually believed that he liked me we could be friends. He had told me I was cool and asked me my name. He told me he'd drive me home. He even told me he wanted to see me again. I fell into a sound happy sleep still sticky and wet, with abstract romantic thoughts caressing my subconscious mind.
My mother agreed to let me go to the pool the next day as long as I'd go with Laura, the 14 year old girl from two doors down. I didn't want to go with Laura, because she was fat and sort of loud, but my mother told me that I couldn't go alone, and so that was that. I knew that Laura would get in the way of any chance I'd have of talking to Billy, but I had promised I would be there and considering the alternative of staying home, I elected to go with Laura in tow.
Laura wore a flowered two piece suit and it looked gross on her. She was too fat for it and her belly rolled out over the top. I tried not to look, but as we walked she chattered incessantly about this and that while I gritted my teeth and replied with occasional grunts of 'uh huh' to let her think I was listening. I hated my mom.
At the pool I steered us over to sit near Billy's friends. Only the girls were there this day, I noticed, and they said 'hi' to me, remembering our brief meeting of yesterday. Billy arrived after four and my heart did a little flip when he walked past and greeted me by my name. 'Hi Matt. Who's your friend?' he asked, referring to Laura. I was so embarrassed that she was there with me and that he saw me with her. 'This is my neighbor Laura.' , I answered.
'Cool', said Billy. 'Glad to meet you Laura.' Laura smiled and said something stupid, I'm sure. I couldn't listen and I couldn't look. I was just so sick that she was there and that Billy had seen me with her.
I closed my eyes almost all the way and pretended to sleep, but left them open just enough to watch Billy. I watched as the girl closest to him put her arm around his waist, and then I felt sort of involuntarily sick to my stomach as I watched him reach around her to hold her close. She must be Billy's girlfriend, I thought with sudden sadness. It hadn't occurred to me that Billy liked a girl. And I realized with a start that Billy probably thought that Laura was my girlfriend too. I was overcome by a wave of grief that I didn't have a name for. Every time I looked over Billy was messing with her; playing with her hair, wrestling around, even kissing her playfully. It was more than I could take and I told Laura I wanted to leave. When they were in the pool we just gathered up our things and left. We walked home in silence.
School stared up soon after that, and I was supposed to take the bus home in the afternoons. But one day I had stayed a little too long and the bus had left without me. I called home and no one was there so I started walking. It wasn't that far, not more than a mile. I had walked a few blocks when I heard the rumble of car exhaust coming up behind me. I turned to look and it was Billy, pulling up to stop near me.
'Hey, Matt! Do you want a ride home?' he called from the car window, his arm waving my way. My heart jumped. I still thought a lot about Billy and was thrilled that he had recognized me and stopped. Without even thinking what my Mom would say, I smiled and ran around to get in the passenger's side door, climbing in and closing it behind me.
'Hi Billy!', I said sort of breathlessly. He smiled and messed up my hair. I really liked that. 'I missed my bus.'
'That's OK,' he replied. I knew that was you by the way you walk. You sure got tall!' I didn't know what to say. That Billy noticed how I walked and how tall I gotten was intoxicating to me in a way. 'Thanks!' I said, not knowing what else to say.
'Where do you live?', he asked as we pulled away from the curb. His car was the kind that needed to be shifted, and as his hand fell from the shifter, it landed beside mine on the bucket seat. I told him where I lived, and then felt a shiver as his hand touched against mine. I wondered if this touch was an accident, but as he shifted again, this time he touched my bare knee then let his fingers trail across the inside of my lower thigh before putting his hand right on top of mine and gave it a squeeze. I had to catch my breath and I looked down to watch his hand as it moved away again to shift the car's gears. Once again his hand landed on my bare knee and this time it stayed there.
By now I knew that this was no accident. The warmth of his big hand on my leg was more than I could bear, and I felt my penis start to stir involuntarily inside my shorts, swelling and thickening as it grew suddenly long and started to push down my leg.
'I think you are cool,' Billy said 'and I'd like to know you better.' His words caused me to squirm as my stomach fluttered like it was full of birds. My cock had grown fully hard in just a minute's time and it was sticking straight down my right inner thigh.
'I think you are cool too', I said to Billy. 'I'd like it a lot if we could be friends.'
We were nearing my street. And with my house in sight I gasped as I felt his hand in my lap. He felt around gently, quickly found my hard cock, and skillfully slipped his finger in the end of the leg hole of my shorts and pulled up a little bit, exposing the head of my penis to view.
'Wow,' he said as he gently felt it, pushing the cloth back to expose half its length as it extended down my thigh. 'You sure are grown up, Matt.' I was paralyzed. This felt so good but was so completely unexpected that I couldn't move. We stopped in front of my house, parked under the many shade trees that lined my street, motor running, neither of us saying anything for what felt like hours but was probably no more than a minute. I looked down at his soft hand gently and expertly feeling my naked cock sticking out of my shorts so lewdly, so swollen and thick and pink. His fingers weaved their way down my shaft and through my hair at the base of my cock and he tugged it gently, exposing more of it. 'How do you feel?'
'A little confused' I answered honestly.
'Maybe I should stop,' offered Billy. 'Can we see each other again?' he asked, moving his hand away from my groin after pulling the cloth of my boxers and shorts down to cover my boyhood from view.
'Sure!' I said breathlessly, still unable to believe what had just happened.
'Can I call you?', he asked.
'I don't think you should,' I said. I was afraid my Mother would ask questions that I hadn't thought of the answers to, and that I'd spoil everything if I lied and she got suspicious and figured everything out just like she always did.
'Can you come to the football game on Friday night then?' he asked.
'At the high school?', I asked meekly.
'No, dummy, at the Astrodome' he replied playfully. 'Of course at the high school. I play on the team. If you come I'll see you there.' He messed up my hair again and as I went to get out of the car he stopped me. 'You won't tell anyone will you?' he asked. I assumed he was talking about what had just happened in the car.
'No way of course not', I said. 'Bye!'
I grabbed my stuff and dashed up the walk of the house.
My mother was waiting at the door. 'Who was that?' she asked.
'His name is Billy. I know him from the pool. He is on the High School football team.' I answered brightly, rushing past her to the kitchen.
'You know how I feel about riding with strangers and about teenagers with cars like that' she warned, following after me.
'He's not a stranger,' I replied. 'I know him. He is alright. Mom can I go to the football game on Friday night?'
'Not by yourself', she warned. 'Find some friends to go with and we'll think about it.'
I knew at once that she'd let me go. I had three days to figure out a plan.
My head still buzzing I went up to my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed. I had a hard time processing the events that had just happened. Billy had held my hand and touched my hard cock and told me he wanted to be friends with me. He wanted to see me again. I pulled out my cock the same way as he had extracted it from my pants in the car and as I stared at it I imagined he was looking at it too, and once again began to throb and grow. He had touched it and held it. No one had ever done that before- no one, and it felt so good I wanted it to happen again right away. Finding my way to the hall bathroom, I went in and locked the door, pulling my pants down and standing before the mirror I began to pull on my throbbing penis, closing my eyes and imagining it was Billy who was having his way with me. I'd let him rub me if he wanted. And I imagined that I wouldn't care who knew. I'd let him teach me all the things he knew, and I'd do anything he wanted. In just a few moments I felt the growing pressure, the tingle, the numbness and finally the explosion of sperm that blew all over my other hand and wrist as I tried in vain to catch it all. I had never made so much stuff before, and it took six Kleenex to clean it all up. My heart was still beating fast as I flushed the evidence away and washed my face with cool water, staring into my own eyes in the bathroom mirror and wondering if I could like girls and also like boys too.
Friday night came and my parents agreed to let me go to the football game because I told them I was going with three friends. I made sure when my dad dropped me off he saw me with them, but when we got to the bleachers I ditched them. I wanted to sit down at the front where I could see Billy better. The lights were bright, the night was hot and when the team came onto the field the marching band played. From the back all the players looked the same; the jerseys had no names on them and the helmets obscured the boys' faces from view. I studied each boy trying to figure out which one was Billy. Too thin, too fat, too short, too tall... finally I spied him sitting near the end of the bench and I moved my seat so I would be nearer to him. It was easy to find a space big enough for only one boy and I squeezed in, sitting between two people I didn't know.
Billy had his helmet off and didn't play at all in the first half. He turned and scanned the crowd several times, and I hoped he was looking for me. 'Right here!' I shouted. 'Billy!' but there was far too much noise for me to be heard. I thought I might get the chance to talk to him down at the fence at halftime, but I had no idea that the team went back to the locker room as soon as the half ended and was surprised and disappointed to see the team leave the field.
I made sure I was positioned right at the fence before the second half began. This time, when he came onto the field I yelled and caught his attention. When he saw me he beamed. 'Little dude! You came!' he said with a wide smile and ran over to the fence to see me. He messed up my hair and I don't remember what I said, but I was so happy to see him and was proud to be so close to him. 'I might play in the second half' he said. 'Hey, wait for me after the game right here?'
I shook my head yes before I even thought about how I was going to do that. My dad was coming back to pick me up after the game was over, and I had no idea how I could meet him at the gate and wait for Billy here too. Billy had gone back to sit on the bench with the team and I was left alone with the problem of how I was going to be able to pull this one off.
Today, as an adult, such issues seem so trivial. I am used to going where I want and not needing to report my every move, but at the tender age of thirteen changing plans midstream like this was not so trivial. I finally decided what to do. I was so absorbed in my plan I didn't even notice if Billy played in the game or not. Just before the game was over I raced to the parking lot and, my dad was sitting there waiting, early as he usually was. I ran up to the window and yelped 'Dad! Tommy's mom is taking us for ice cream after the game. She'll bring me home after. I can go, right?'
My dad looked dazed. Mom seemingly made all the rules concerning where I was allowed to go, and I sensed he was always afraid that he'd get in trouble himself if he approved any deviation from his assigned mission. He had been told to pick me up, and coming home without me would leave him with explaining to do to Mom. 'Please,' I begged. 'I want to go. Mom would say it's alright. I promise I won't be late.'
Dad hesitated but finally nodded OK. With a warning to be home in less than an hour, I ran back to the grandstands and he drove off just as the game was ending. I took my place by the fence and watched as the team ran off the field and the people filed out of the seats.
Thirty minutes later and I was still standing there. Everyone had gone and just a few stragglers were under the bleachers. Leaning on the chain link fence, I began to feel this was a big mistake, that Billy had forgotten about his promise to me, and that I would get in terrible trouble since I had no way home. I calculated that I could only wait another few minutes before I needed to start walking fast if I wanted any chance of getting home within the time limit Dad had given me.
Just as I was about to give up, I heard running footsteps from behind the bleachers. Billy ran around the corner with his equipment bag in one hand and his spikes in the other one. He had changed out of his football uniform but he was still sweaty and obviously had not showered.
'I am so sorry, Matt.' He said. 'The coach talked to us for twenty minutes and we had to listen. Nobody could leave. I changed as quick as I could and ran over here the minute he let us go. I didn't even have time to shower. I was afraid you'd leave'
'That's OK, I knew you'd come', I lied, smiling up at Billy. Suddenly everything was alright with the world. He hadn't forgotten me after all. 'But I have to go home right away-I promised my dad I'd be home by now.'
'Right now?' he asked sounding disappointed.
'Well, I need to be home in twenty minutes', I replied. 'I'm only in eighth grade.' I immediately wished I hadn't said that; that I could take that last few words back. I didn't want him to think I was a baby.
We started walking towards the lot together, Billy and me. He walked close to me and put his arm over my shoulder and patted my neck. The smell of his sweat was not unpleasant to me at all. He smelled deliciously musky and hot, just like I imagined a guy should smell. 'I only got in the game for two plays.' He said. 'Not even enough to get hardly dirty.'
As we walked very close side by side across the dark field towards the lighted parking lot ahead, Billy and I bumped shoulders and hands. Our fingers became entwined and just for a moment Billy gave my hand a little squeeze in his as we walked on. 'Billy, you have a girlfriend, right?' I asked, looking up at his face.
Billy sort of shrugged and didn't look at me. 'Not really,' he said. 'I have girls who are friends, but not a girlfriend like that.'
'But I saw you kissing a girl at the pool, she's not your girlfriend?' I asked insistently. I was trying to make sense of this whole thing in my mind.
'Oh, that's Clare,' Billy replied. 'She wants to be my girlfriend I think, but I don't care. I'd rather just hang out. I don't want a girlfriend now.'
I added a skip to my step. His answer was just what I had hoped to hear. Maybe he felt about girls the same as did I. We reached his car and he unlocked his side and reached over to open my door to let me in. I slid in beside him and immediately put my hand right on the carpeted hump between the seats. If he wanted to hold my hand I was going to make it easy for him to do so. He started the engine and sure enough, just as soon as we got underway he placed his hand on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. As we rode and as he shifted the gears each time he'd move his hand he'd put it in a different place on me. He felt my knee and caressed the inside of my thigh. He slipped his hand under the bottom of my untucked T-shirt and felt my stomach. Then his hand rested between my legs and he felt gently around outside my clothes quickly finding my stiff penis and my soft balls hidden inside. I closed my eyes with bliss and slid down a little in the seat and parted my legs just a bit to give him better access, and he allowed his hand to explore down under my balls to that sensitive hidden spot just below.
'Ohhhh Matt...' he moaned softly. 'Do we really have to go right to your house?'
My brain was burning and my thoughts completely addled by lust. I wanted to tell him to take me anywhere he wanted, to undress me and do whatever he wanted with me, to teach me what to do and how to make love. But a little voice inside warned me of the danger. I had told my dad that I was going for ice cream with a friend. If I was even a little late I knew my mom would immediately call their house, and when she talked to his mom and found there was no trip for ice cream then I'd be busted for sure. I hadn't thought that far ahead, and my state of mind at this moment was not conducive to hatching a clever story complete with a detailed plan. I just wanted him to feel my hard dick, and I wanted to feel his too.
'I can't be late. I'll get in trouble.' I answered.
'OK. I won't make you late. Promise', said Billy. We have five minutes, right?'
Five minutes was OK. 'Yes' I said.
Billy turned into a side road near my neighborhood and drove down a dark street. It was a cul-de-sac with houses on all sides, dark and quiet. He turned off the engine and lights and coasted to the curb. We slid to a silent stop and as he set the brake he turned towards me and reached out his arms. In one seamless motion I met him with my arms outstretched too. We awkwardly held each other in the car, my face buried in his chest, his face in my hair. He kissed the top of my head and I breathed deeply the sweaty, musky smell of his chest through his shirt. Then tipping my head up by placing his fingers under my chin. I felt his lips against mine and as I parted my lips, the tip of my tongue against his.
I had kissed a girl once. It was a scout camp the last summer, we were in the woods after a campfire and the experience has been pleasant and very exciting. But it felt nothing like this. The tip of Billy's sweet tongue probed between my parted lips as he placed his hand behind my head. The softness of his lips and tongue contrasted with the patch of whisker stubble I felt on his chin as he pressed his face against mine. I had shaved a couple of times in my life, but my face was still smooth and soft. Billy's face felt like a man's, I imagined. Though I couldn't see any whiskers they were there because I could feel them on my cheeks and lips.
My dick was raging at attention, once again sticking down my leg nearly out of my boxers, and Billy skillfully found it just like before. It tingled and tickled and throbbed as I felt his fingers slip inside my shorts and begin exploring my most private area. I kissed him back, sucking on his tongue, tasting the salty sweetness of his lower lip and chin. I pushed my head back and Billy's mouth traveled down my throat as he sucked my skin gently into his mouth.
His thumb and forefinger held the throbbing end of my cock, pushing the skin back just a little. Then I felt it coming. It had only taken a small touch or two, but the tickle began, then the incredible itchy numbness, then the push of pressure, and before I could even speak, spurt after spurt of my semen unexpectedly shot out and covered Billy's hand and my bare thigh.
'Ohhh-I'm sorry!', I said pulling my mouth away from his for just a minute. But he just laughed a little and told me not to worry, that he thought what I did was so hot. Billy's hands were in his own pants now, I could see, and he unzipped his pants and stuck his fist into his boxers to grip his own cock. I looked down in the darkness and was disappointed that I couldn't see what he was doing. I wanted to see Billy's cock too. 'Let me see it,' I asked, pushing back. Billy pulled the front of his shorts down and for the first time I saw his beautiful dick. It wasn't much bigger than mine, but he had a lot more hair. Reaching over with one hand he scooped some of my spilled sperm from my cock and coated his palm with it. Then rubbing his own cock frantically he pulled my close and kissed me again as I heard the lewd slurping sound of his rubbing wet hand working my slick sperm all over his own cock as he rubbed.
He tensed, held his breath and then trembling, exhaled gently into my mouth as we kissed, and I knew that he had come too. I reached down and touched his cock for the first time and felt how wet he was and shivered with excitement as I realized that he must be as excited by me as I was by him. He released me, and we both fell back into our seats, his pants open in the front and mine pushed up high on my leg. I coated my shaft with some of his slick emission, and almost as an afterthought touched my wet fingers to my face to smell and taste his cum. My dick was still fully erect, and as much as I was ready and wanted to do it again, I was suddenly afraid that someone would catch us, and that my Mom was at this moment dialing the phone to track me down, that I'd be forced to explain why I had lied and why my hair was disheveled and my shorts were soaked with sticky sperm, both Billy's and mine.
'I need to take you home', Billy said. And quickly straightening his shirt and zipping up his jeans, he started the motor and we turned around and drove off towards my house.
I was in a daze. A happy, blissfully content I-hope- this-never-ends sort of a trance. I closed my eyes and tasted him still on my lips. But as we neared my house I knew I needed to straighten up quickly to hide the evidence of what we had just done. 'Wait! Stop here!' I whispered a block form my house. 'Let me off here. My Mom can't see me coming home with you. I told her I was coming home with my friend Timmy.' Billy chuckled but he understood. I really think he liked that I had fibbed for the chance to hook up with him. He stopped the car and I hopped out.
'See you again?', he called hopefully after me.
'Yah, sure, of course!' I answered slamming the door behind me.
Billy drove slowly away, the rumble of his exhaust fading into the night. I stood under the street lamp and took a deep breath while examining my clothes. My right leg was still wet with my semen and I wiped off with my hands and then wiped it onto the seat of my pants. My shirt was untucked and as I tucked it back in I was surprised to find how much of my sticky goo was all over my shorts. It had squirted all over the end of my pants leg from the inside and had soaked right through to the outside. I desperately rubbed it to try to hide it, but It was totally obvious, even in the dim light of the street. Taking off at a full gallop towards home I ran up to the front door, and noisily entered the house banging the screen door with a 'Hi Mom!' and kept on moving, blindly heading for my bedroom.
'Matthew' I heard her call up from the kitchen. 'I don't like you changing plans like that. In the future I want you to stick to our arrangements.'
But I had made it untouched and unseen into my bedroom, where I could survey the damage for the first time. I saw the large soaked spot on my shorts and quickly pulled them off along with my boxers and threw them behind my bed where I hoped they'd dry. Changing quickly I ran back down the stairs only to meet my mother on her way up.
'Did you hear me?' she asked. 'I was worried about you.'
I put my arms around her neck and hugged her. 'Don't worry Mom' I said. She kissed my cheek... then stopped and lingered as she sniffed me, my face and my neck. With a shock I realized that she smelled Billy's sex on me-to her an unfamiliar mixture of boy-sweat and saliva and fresh sperm rubbed deep into my skin that was not something she was used to smelling on her thirteen year old boy, I knew she was wracking her brain trying to figure out what it was.
'Uhh... I got sweaty from running around at the game', I said, answering the question that she didn't ask. I pulled away from her and continued down the stairs, heart pounding again with fear of discovery.
I guess I realized that night that I was gay... my attraction to Billy and the animal excitement about what we did and my thirst to do it all over again confirmed what I had silently suspected for so long. My life had suddenly become far more complicated that Indian Summer night, as new, confusing thoughts tumbled through my mind. Did Billy really like me like I hoped he did? And while I was drunk with the thought of having a boyfriend so much older and wiser than me, how could I keep my relationship with him a secret- from my friends, and from my family too. I wondered how long it would be before I got caught with Billy and had to explain... or lie about... the nature of our friendship.
I also secretly wondered why Billy was attracted to me, though I didn't want to admit it to myself. What did I have that this stunningly beautiful green-eyed nearly grown up high school boy wanted, and why had he so easily picked me out of the crowd?
The next years brought answers to some of these questions but left others unanswered.
I'm not sure if anyone is interested in hearing more, but Billy and I shared a highly secret relationship through my high school years where I learned much more about him, and about myself as well.