What Girls Thought the First Time They Saw a Hard Cock

A compendium found on various sites on the net of women’s first reactions to a hard cock. 

1. “I thought the balls were in separate sacks.”

2. "I don't know why, but before I saw one I'd assumed a penis became erect still pointing down. I'd never seen any porn or anything and yeah, I figured sex would be a logistical nightmare. In my head, when I saw it pointing up, I was kind of like 'ohhhhhh that totally makes sense now!'

3."I wanted to slap it just to see if it would go back to its original position. It did."

4. "I was expecting something twice the size, glistening and golden."

5. "It looks like an alien worm."

6. One woman was so unimpressed that she thought the wool was being pulled over her eyes when she saw a penis for the first time. "I'm 99% sure this is a prank," she thought. 

7. Others joked that their first responses were, "Is that supposed to be hot?" and "Damn that's ugly," with many women very underwhelmed by what they were looking at. Rather than finding out in the bedroom the hard way, this woman stumbled across more than she bargained for whilst browsing the web as a kid. She said: "I was about ten and saw it on the Internet. Thought it was a diseased finger."

8. “Everyone’s always sobbing over the fact that dudes who watch too much porn develop a warped outlook on sex and how women should behave in bed and whatnot. But no one’s worried about the expectations women have about penis size from watching dirty videos featuring 10-inch dicks—and they probably should be. The first time I reached into my ninth grade boyfriend’s pants to give him a handjob, I was shocked by what wasn’t there. I even looked down to check that he was actually erect. He was.”

9. “My super bohemian parents have always insisted on walking around our house naked. So the first penis I was exposed to was my dad’s. Usually I’d see it when it was flaccid. But one day I walked into my parents’ bedroom when I was a kid, and when my dad got up to go to the bathroom, I saw this thing protruding straight out from between his legs. He had a raging boner, but I had no idea about the whole morning wood thing yet. So I screamed, ‘Daddy, there’s a snake eating your penis!’ Haven’t been able to live that one down.”

10. “I didn’t perform oral sex on a guy until I was in college, at which point I was embarrassed because I couldn’t participate in conversations about dicks with my girlfriends. So I got wasted one night, determined to give head for the first time. It wasn’t all that (excuse the pun) hard to find a willing partner. But the guy I ended up in bed with had what I now know by comparison to be a giant penis. Twenty seconds into my attempt to deep throat, I vomited all over him. It was so traumatizing, I waited another year before trying again.”

11. “I was one of those girls who was ahead of her time, sexually. I developed early, and I had urges, you know. Raging teenage hormones! After I gave my first handy, I became fascinated by penises. I thought they were so cool, the way grew and pulsated and responded to my touch. I wanted to see as many as I could as quickly as possible. As you can imagine, I was very popular for a while.”

12. “For a long time, I was shy about boys and sex. In high school, I promised my boyfriend of six months that if he officially asked me to prom, we could move on from dry humping to some more exciting stuff. I was terrified of the images of penises I’d seen from Googling, but I figured I’d have to take the leap at some point. Unfortunately, when my boyfriend unzipped his pants and whipped it out for the first time, all my fears were confirmed. I actually covered my eyes and started crying because I wanted nothing to do with that rocket ship shaped thing, but I’d promised him I’d put my mouth on it for at least 30 seconds. He was a nice guy and didn’t make me go through with it. We’re Facebook friends to this day.”

13. “When I was a teen, I was pretty embarrassed about my vagina. I mean, they don’t really give young girls any education in the what-your-vagina-might-look like department. Now I know there’s a spectrum of possibilities, but back then I just assumed mine was weird. Well, the first time I got naked with a boy, at 16, I did what anyone who was utterly relieved they weren’t the only one with funny looking genitalia would do: I laughed out loud. Then I watched, with fascination, as his erection died. Whoops.”

14. “I was so eager to go down on a guy for the first time—you know, it was just time to cross that sexual to-do off the list. So I approached the quarterback of the football team at the Winter Wonderland dance and whispered in his ear that I wanted to give him head. Obviously, he consented. I pulled his pants down in the backseat of his Jeep Cherokee and watched him lean back and smile as I did my thing (I’d watched a few Jenna Jameson videos online for tips). I was no expert, but I quickly realized that that didn’t really matter. I could tickle it with my tongue and use my hands and I loved feeling like I had so much power over a guy that way.”

15. “Penises are weird. I’ve felt that way since the day I saw my first boyfriend naked, and I maintain that stance. It’s not the sausage part that bothers me as much as the nuts. Nuts? Why do we even call them that? They’re more like nuts encased in gelatinous sacs of wrinkly, bumpy flesh lined with prickly pubic hair. I’d die happy if I never touched another pair of balls again. Too bad I’m not a lesbian, I guess.”

16. “For years, I never really appreciated the naked male body. I was simultaneously mystified and borderline repulsed by it. But when my current boyfriend first stripped for me in his dorm room and stood there, all vulnerable with his junk hanging out, I didn’t just fall in love with him—I fell for his penis. I seriously think it’s the most beautiful thing. I like seeing it and feeling it in all of its various shapes and sizes. So I’d encourage any girl who’s feels at all put off by cocks to hold on tight, because they’re bound to change their mind as soon as they meet the right guy.”

17. “No matter how many tidbits you hear from your sexually experienced girlfriends, nothing prepares you for the first time you get up close and personal with a man’s package. I threw a party in the basement of my parents’ house while they were away one weekend and when it was my turn to get locked in a closet for ‘seven minutes in heaven,’ I was literally shaking with nerves. I remember feeling poked when he approached. His dick was so hard and terrifyingly unfamiliar. I just wasn’t quite ready yet. Luckily, he was so distracted feeling me up that we didn’t even get past second base before someone knocked on the door.”

18. “I have a theory that girls who say penises are ugly are afraid of coming across as overly sexual or slutty or something. I've loved penises since I first became acquainted with them IRL, around age 13. I like ‘em circumcised, uncircumcised, big, average, pink, or brown. I mean, is there another human body part that defies gravity? I can understand why a penis might look weird to a girl at first, but all body parts are pretty weird if you isolate them for long enough. Stare at your foot for five minutes and then tell me dicks are anything but awesome.”

19. “Okay, so when I saw my first penis, I made a little mistake. I was dating someone semi-seriously and one thing led to another and we started fooling around in my bedroom, where we were supposed to be studying. Since the lights were still on I had a really good look when it made its debut and I just sat there, gawking, paralyzed in awe. It’s startling to be confronted by a brand new body part. So the guy said, “Everything okay?” and I said, 'Yes! It’s just so cute!' Cute. I called a man’s penis cute. The look of absolute terror on the guy’s face taught me never to do that again.”

20. “All my life I thought penises were shaped like road cones. I was absolutely taken aback when I saw one for the first time. I actually didn’t want to touch it because it appeared to be looking at me.”

21. “For some reason I thought dicks were the thickness of pencils. Total shocker.”

22. “I was most surprised about how velvety soft penises are, and THEY CAN FUCKING MOVE!?!?!? Seriously, I stopped, sat up, and stared at his junk for a solid minute demanding he make it twitch because I actually couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”

23. “Being a girl I know there’s only a small space between my vagina and asshole, but for a guy it’s just his asshole then is smooth all the way down to his penis it’s weird I always look for another hole but there’s never going to be one.”

24. “How the skin on ballsacks move, like, when the balls are lowering or retracting I guess (???). It still blows my mind, it looks like a deep-sea mollusk. I remember the first time I got a really close, well-lit look at my boyfriend’s ballsack as the skin on it gracefully shifted in many directions at once. I was so awestruck by its independent motions. I had no idea that any part of a human body could move in this otherworldly manner. I took a close-up video to show him because I wasn’t sure he understood what I was talking about and he got all embarrassed and made me delete it.”

25. “How much fun the balls can be! Yeah, sure, the cock was awesome but the balls fascinated me coz they reminded me of squishy stress balls. You could see them moving around while he stayed motionless! I swear the first experience I had with balls changed my life; I was like a caveman discovering fire.”

26. “How fucking goofy it looks. I can’t imagine why guys send dick pics. Why would you want to show off something that looks so ridiculous? Seriously, just because it feels nice doesn’t mean it’s sexy to look at. I mean, I’m sure vaginas aren’t very pretty either, but I don’t hear complaints about unwanted vag pics.”

27. “How hard dicks get and how floppy and silly they are when soft. It just blows my mind they go from practically mush to a fucking bone in 10 seconds.”

28. “How soft dick is…Other parts of men skin is rough or callous but somehow a dick is fucking baby-skin soft. I was like woahhhh!”

29. “This is dumb but I was surprised at what balls actually looked like. Because of the drawings of penises that people always drew, I assumed there were two little sacks of testicles hanging of either side of the penis, not one sack with two testicles in them, if that makes sense.”

30. “My first time was a game of I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. The boy was not circumcised. Years later, I was losing my virginity. The boy was circumcised. I had no idea what circumcision was, so I assumed that the difference in appearance was due to some sort of change that happens due to puberty. The next 3 dicks I saw were all circumcised. Until, the 4th dick I saw was uncircumcised. I didn’t want to embarrass him by mentioning it and spent months believing that he had an adult-sized child dick. I privately wondered what went wrong with his puberty. One day after we broke up, I mentioned it to a girlfriend, and was educated on circumcision. Felt like an idiot.”

31. “Penises are soft! And velvety. And fun to play with. I had identified as a lesbian for a long time before I met my current SO (who is a man). ’Twas a pleasant bisexual realization.”

32. “Have you ever just watched balls relax and contract while your boyfriend is lying down after sex? It’s so fascinating. I just want to poke them and play with them. The first time I touched an erect penis was through my ex’s skinny jeans when I was 14. It actually felt like wood! Freaked me right out.”

33. “The size difference between soft and hard dick. It went from ‘huh, cute, slightly disappointing tho, kinda looks like a pear’ to ‘oh’ that is SO not gonna fit, really fast.”

34. “The slit in the top of the dick. I assumed it would be more of a little round hole than a slit.”

35. “Penises are really, really gross and ugly. To the point where I almost can’t have sex with the lights on because they freak me out.”

36. “I had seen videos of erect dicks online but nothing is like actually seeing one and holding it in your hand. I just stared at it and then got an overwhelming desire to put it in my mouth. I had never ever considered anything like that before.”

37. "I saw my brothers penis before but the first time I saw another boy's penis was when I was 13. He was my neighbor and we had been friends for a long time. We went for a walk and he said he had to pee really bad. We were like a half hour away from home so I said well just go ahead and pee. We went behind a store and he opened his pants and peed right there in front of me. I was fascinated and just stared at it. He got an erection and was embarrassed so he put it away quickly after he was done. We walked home and didn't say anything about it. Later that evening I went to his house and we sat in his back yard talking. He brought up the fact that I saw him with an erection and he said he was pretty embarrassed. I told him I liked it and he shouldn't be embarrassed. He asked if I wanted to see it again and I said yeah. He took me into his garage and showed it to me. He was erect by the time he took his pants down. It was really nice."

38. "I fell in love with the first one I saw and have loved them ever since, especially if it is someone’s that you truly care about, I love the strength of them!!"

39. "When I was a girl of 13, one Saturday morning my Mom told me to tell my 17 year old brother's lazy butt out of bed. Me and my girlfriend who had a huge crush on him opened his door to yell at him to get up. We opened the door and we was sound asleep laying on his back with his morning wood poking up through his boxers. My girlfriend almost screamed and got the biggest smile on her face. We quickly shut the door and ran into my room. She said, 'We just saw your brothers erect penis!' She turned bright red and said I want to see it again. We went back over to the door and quietly opened it up. He was snoring and his penis was still in full view. We just stood at the door for what seemed like an hour and stared at it. Then my girlfriend snuck in the room and got a close up look. She just stood there staring at my brothers penis. I have to admit that it was pretty exciting. I'd never seen a grown up boy's dick before and here was one fully erect. Since then I've been told that maybe my brother knew about it and wanted us to look at it. I don't know as he was snoring pretty loudly. Even now when I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach and I'm a grown woman. I can't help but say penis, penis penis!!!!!!"

40. "I am a female 19, when I was 14 I have a 16-year old Brother. My friends are always talking about erected penis, I was so anxious to see one. One day my brother was in the bath room. I heard the sound he is bathing. I was peeping thru the key hole. I was shocked. The first time in my life I have seen an erected penis. I was become HOT, I become WET. I was looking at it about 10 minutes. I still remember that."

41. "The first time I saw an erection was when I walked in on my brother in the shower. He had a huge hard on and I just stared. It was awkward but we got over it. I asked to see it the next day so he showed to me. Then he jerked off for me. This was when I was about 13. He was 14 or 15."

42. "I was 13, at my friend's house. We were both curious about boys. Her older brother (14) came home and we started asking him questions about what boys look like, what it's like to have balls and stuff. He seemed embarrassed by our questions. Then I just boldly blurted out, 'Can I see your thing?' His face turned beet red and he tried to change the subject. I kept pushing it. 'Come on, let us see it, or I'll kick you in the balls.' Then I jumped on him and told my friend to help me hold him down. I noticed he had a bulge in his pants. As we wrestled him, his pants started to come down (they were loose) and I saw the top of his little ass. I said, 'Are you going to let us see everything, or do we have to beat you up?' He gave up and said we can see it, but we couldn't tell anyone else. When I saw it, I was pleasantly surprised. It was cute. I reached over and touched it. It was very hard. I started to play with it and, you guessed it, he shot his boy juice right at me. I acted disgusted and said 'gross' but I secretly liked it. When he and his sister weren't looking, I tasted it and liked it. After that, i had occasion to see his thing a few more times. I miss those days.

43. "I was 13 and my neighbor 15. I had a crush on him and one day we were hiking in the canyon, when he excused himself because he had to pee. I asked if I could watch. He seemed embarrassed but was willing. I was mesmerized and aroused at the sight of his big beautiful penis. It was circumcised with big knob and veiny. It was the size of an adult man's penis. It made me so wet, especially when he let me hold it and he got aroused and erect. Next day, we fondled each other and I made him spurt his warm semen wildly. He jacked it right square onto my pussy hair. It was awesome!

44. I was on a date with a boy when I was only 15. We were parked and making out like crazy when he unzipped his pants and took out his hard cock. I was totally shocked but also really turned  on just looking at it. He wanted me to jack him off or suck him off but I was too afraid to do it. He went ahead and jacked off and I was fascinated to see the semen spurt out. 

45. "My younger brother and I are only a year apart and I always noticed that he awoke with an erection every morning and would have to stand literally about 3 feet back from the front of the toilet to piss before his hard-on went down. This made me very curious about the male penis, so one morning I made a deal with him and would show him my pussy if he let me reach into his pajamas and touch and play with his penis. He was such a good brother and let me. He loved the way I made him feel, then showed me how to jack him off."

46. Not appropriate.

47. Not appropriate.

48. "I have a brother who's two years younger and we used to take baths together when we were really little... I walked in on my dad in the bathroom when I was waist high so I got a pretty good view of it then.... Then I saw an old man at a lake one time when I was young with his dick visible, ummmm I never saw one in a sexual way until I was 16, and it was dark so I felt it more than saw it. But I really liked it. 

49. “I couldn’t believe it had a hood. Like it emerged from its pajamas and then went back in there to hide when it was done. I also thought it looked like Gonzo [from the Muppets] when flaccid.”

50. “Soooo this is how big it gets? Or do I wait for it to change more? (In hindsight the guy wasn’t that well-endowed).”

51.  “Pure FEAR. I wondered how the hell that thing was going to fit inside me. I was reluctant to believe it was physically possible.”

52. “I remember thinking they looked like a mushroom and were so soft to touch and being astounded how much they could change! How does it go from SO soft to SO hard. And I remember not having the faintest idea what to do with it… I mean really… is the skin supposed to move with the hand? Is this hurting him? I’m supposed to use hand and mouth?”

53. “I was so anxious I literally was squealing and covering my eyes (what a turn on, right?). When I finally did just bloody look at the thing, I was surprised that it was so bouncy - you know how semi-erect penises sort of flop around a lot? So weird. And oh god, so VEINY. Weirder though was seeing a non-erect penis after sex - they look so sad and deflated, just lying there with some semen drooling out.”

54. "I thought it looked strange, then wondered what I was supposed to do with it. (I knew about the existence of handjobs and blowjobs, but I had no idea how to give one. And being a virgin, I wasn’t quite ready for sex.) And it felt nothing like I had expected. I expected it to be softer, I guess?"

55. "Having a vagina all my life, I assumed that penises were in the exact same spot (between the legs) rather than a few inches below the belly button, where a girl’s pubic bone would normally be. Obviously I hadn’t considered the logistics of how sex works, but it was a crazy moment of discovery that everything I thought I knew about penises was wrong. Also, I still think they look funny."

56. "I was shocked that the shaft of the penis had no hair on it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was THRILLED about this particular surprise, but … surprised nonetheless. Imagine oral sex on a hairy shaft. Gross."

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