submissive gooner

I can barely remember a time when I wasn't horny and looking for chances to play with myself. It didn't matter where I was, what I waslooking at, who I was thinking about...I always needed to find an excuse to "take a shower" or "use the bathroom" or otherwise get away to get myself off...I'd do it a dozen a times a day if I could get away with it.

As I grew up, my addiction just got worse. Especially once the internet came along... I'd find myself trading pics, downloading pics and saving them to a huge porn library, using chat rooms...everything I could think of to feed my addiction. As time went on, I generally figured out I am bi and deeply submissive. It gave me huge, real joy to help people get off. I would cam and chat and masturbate every free minute of the day.

I got married, and our sex life was great for a while, but her sex drive sort of fell off of a cliff after a few years. Around that time, I discovered "gooning" and slowly came to realize that's exactly what I am: a gooner. A chronic, compulsive, addicted masturbator. And my need to please just got deeper and deeper. I let people control almost everything about my masturbation and sex life. I wore (or didn't wear) certain clothes on request, amassed a huge collection of several kinds of toys, shaved, drank, used certain substances, strange insertions, gave up control of when I was allowed to use the bathroom, when I was allowed to fuck my wife... and especially gave up orgasms. I found it hard at first to not cum, but eventually grew to love, and then *need* the edge. I stroke for hours every day now, but I haven't cum in months and actively try to avoid it most of the time. My wife is practically a porn widow: we only have sex a few times per year. I'm too busy stroking my needy penis endlessly. I've amassed so many triggers now...just seeing certain images or hearing things like "good boy," "good gooner," "pump now," and all sorts of other things instantly make me need to masturbate. Forced intox (poppers, alcohol, weed, Viagra/Cialis) just melts my brain because I know once it's in me, I have no more control. I "work from home" but at least half of every day I really get paid to masturbate and edge. I love having people use me or control me or implant new triggers/fetishes.The deeper I go, the deeper I want to go. I just can't stop.

I'm happy to tell specific stories or answer questions or just chat. Haha, even talking about masturbation makes me want to masturbate. I've been stroking the entire time I wrote this. Feel free to drop me a message or comment if anything in here is of interest to you, you want to hear about some specific story/facet of chronic masturbation, if you're looking for a goon toy, etc. If you read this far but didn't enjoy anything, sorry I wasted your time. But hopefully you can find something to motivate you to solotouch real soon!