So Hooked..

Some of you have read my prior posts and probably judged me for how wacky and obsessed I am with porn and masturbation. Especially for a female. I'm in the middle of a freaky solo session right now and just need to express how fucking good it feels for me again... Seriously I live for this feeling and I can't get enough. It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced supernatural pleasure through intense sex or masturbation.  Some of us are just built differently...

I'm a 37F bi MILF with one son and a secret world of perversion and taboo fetishes. I'm not ashamed of my addiction and obsessions any more. I've fully accepted myself as a female porn addict and perverted goonette. I embrace this side of me now in my solo rituals. It took many years of work and processing and exploring. But I can say it's been the most worthwhile journey of my personal life by far..

I always knew I was just a different and other people, especially females. I masturbated relentlessly when I was younger and developed an interest in porn as a young lady. I entered the industry on my eighteenth birthday by choice. I had a real passion for high quality production and point of view blow job videos. It was honestly a dream come true for me to start making videos with really well known professionals I had watched for many years. I didn't make much money but I was more there for the actual sexual experiences and making myself a freak on camera. That really intensified my arousal and it made me feel like a huge slut. That made my pleasure and orgasms way stronger over time.

My sexuality has always been extremely mental. It's always the thought of how extreme or forbidden something else that gets me off the hardest. Like the idea of hundreds or even thousands of horny men  jerking off watching you suck cock on camera. I loved thinking about myself as the source of so much lust and depravity... It almost felt like I got power from it. All I know is I really love hearing and viewing how people respond to me sexually... It's basically like a metakink for me LOL. I want to know all the dirty details about what turns people on about me in my content and stories. That's why I appreciate the site so much and all the people who have encouraged me :-)

I want to be the thing that exposes horny perverts to a deeper level of gratification and intensity... It almost feels like calling for me :)

I get off so hard when I can show people some lewd part of themselves that is usually suppressed. Like when I post about my secret games with my son. And it drives people crazy to imagine having a sexy pervy mom like me... Basically embracing the ultimate taboo ;). There's a reason it's so tantalizing for some people... Anyway it's just fuel for my intense habits and masturbation rituals that make me go crazy like that :)

Yeah it's my own depraved habits that push me into the fringes of kinky people online. And now that I gave discovered the feedback loop between getting myself off and the extra naughty things I do with other perverts on here, I almost egg myself on now just to push the limits of how deep my rituals go... It's hard to explain but my primal instincts are to build on my intense sexual experiences over time. I like to go deeper and expand my horizons when I pleasure myself like this...

Anyway. Pretty rambley post I know. It's just hard to pack in all the different aspects of my private life into one post... Especially when I'm actively doing the stuff XD

Basically. It's happening right now. And my pussy is gushing like a waterfall as I write this... I'm at my desk In my home office. I have 3 HD monitors playing one of my all time favorite scenes with Winston Burbank getting sucked off and titty fucked by Anisaa Kate. I've been getting high and masturbating and watching porn for about 4 hours already. I actually use pomodoro technique to structure my sessions. I can't even explain how ridiculous I get it when I'm on this level of FREAK. The porn just feels so fucking good on my Adderall and weed pen.

My pussy is so hypersensitive. My mind is unspeakably filthy. I have super human control over my libido and mental focus... I can close my eyes and immerse myself in erotic memories just with my own imagination and experience them just like they felt at the time... Fuck okay I need to wrap this up soon. Watching slow motion replays of Winston's facial cumshots is better than heaven to me...

I'm probably gonna snack and hydrate on top of another couple  Addy here shortly. I might even eat the last square of mushroom chocolate that's calling my name right now XD 

I know that the if insane rush from those chemicals flooding my brain are going to intensify my pleasure exponentially... And give me even more mental control over my experience. It feels sooo fucking good omggggggtg....

I don't know this is bad. But for me, God, I'd live for this feeling right fucking now. Nothing's been compared to the magic powers my pussy has when I play with myself like this... Just like this.. All night long even ;]