Showering with Jesse

I went to BYU in the mid-90s. It was the second semester of my freshman year, and I loved it. From a very strict and judgmental mormon family, I was really enjoying the freedom and just being able to be myself. I was still a good Mormon boy with good Mormon friends, and although we had fun, we weren’t wild. A little more backstory: growing up Mormon meant masturbation was taboo. I masturbated probably more than anyone my age, but I also felt a great deal of shame and guilt about it, which ironically led to even more masturbation. I had also had a lot of anxiety about my body and development in puberty. I got the Nordic genes from my mom’s side and just wasn’t that hairy, but my dad and older brother looked more Italian and had thick black hair, so for a long time I felt very self-conscious about it. I skipped the showers in 10th grade gym class, which weren’t required, but even some of the 9th graders had the confidence I didn’t have. I had only ever showered in front of others at my last year of scout camp, and that was only a couple of times over the course of one week. Looking back, I wish I had the opportunity more, as I think it would have helped me with my anxiety after seeing all the different shapes and sizes in the shower.

So in college I had made a close group of friends who hung out constantly, and then there was Jesse, a guy at the other end of my dorm hall who wasn’t in that group of friends, but I had gotten to know him and we sometimes walked to class together. He was everything I had wished I was: tall, confident, fully grown and very filled out, facial hair that had to be shaved everyday. He just looked like a fully adult man, which at first made me feel very self-conscious, but his natural ease put me at ease and his confidence inspired my own confidence. We often talked about our families back home and shared stories, mostly in fun, but it was through this that I came to realize that not every mormon family was as strict and judgmental as mine. Jesse wanted to be a doctor and he convinced me to take an Anatomy class with him that second semester freshman year. Even though I had no interest and didn’t even need a science credit, I enjoyed those talks with him so much that I though any additional time i could spend with him would be great, and I was flattered that he asked me.

We had it set up so that Anatomy was the first class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and not until 11 am, which meant that the dorm was pretty emptied out by the time we got up to get ready for class. The dorms we were in had communal bathrooms but the showers were all in separate stalls and there were only 2 stalls in each bathroom with 2 bathrooms on each floor. By 10 am, the janitors closed off the bathroom at Jesse’s end of the hall for cleaning, so he would come down to the bathroom at my end. Of the 2 showers, one was just disgusting and everyone tried to avoid that one. I would often yell down to him when I had finished showering, and vice versa, so the other could get their shower A couple times when I guess I had woken up later, Jesse would come into the bathroom and tell me to hurry up so he could shower. It had become a running joke, and I would do the same to him when he was first in the shower. One day, he even climbed under the outside stall partition and poked his head above the shower curtain to tell me to get a move on. This made me a little uncomfortable at first, but I had become much less anxious about my body and more comfortable in my own skin, and it was pretty funny the way he just popped up out of nowhere. So I did I did it to him a few times too. The curtain was high enough that you could only see from about the nose up anyway.

Well, one day, I guess I was particularly late, because when he popped up above the curtain to tell me to finish up, I had only just barely got in. I told him I would be a while and jokingly said he might as well get in or we’ll end up being late. He jokingly made as if he was getting undressed and I turned my face under the shower, but when I turned back around, there he was. Naked, in the shower with me. It wasn’t a big shower, so we were close enough together that I could really just see his chest, at least unless I made it obvious and looked down, which I didn’t dare do at that point. He had a full chest of curly golden hair against a more olive complexion, versus my pale skin and little tufts of hair around the nipples and a small patch of hair in the middle of my chest that you could only see if the light hit it right. Something about that was just so funny to me, that in the moment I just laughed. He laughed too, I guess he thought I was just laughing at his joke of being in the shower. But I said, “what is all this?” pointing to his chest hair. He just shrugged and said, “it’s the way god made me,” and smiled. That put me at ease, he had a way of doing that.

Not sure what else to do, I just grabbed the soap and started scrubbing myself. He told me to let him get in the water while I soaped up, so we put our hands down in front of our dicks and scooted past each other. He just started talking like he would if we were walking to class, so pretty quickly it wasn’t that weird. A few more scoots past each other and I was done, getting out to dry while he rinsed off. Although I was curious, I didn’t want to make it awkward so I put on my boxers and left the bathroom to go get dressed. In those days, everyone was afraid to be called gay, and it was even more fraught at a mormon university.

We continued our conversation on the walk to class, as if like any other day. But after that first time, it become part of the running joke now to say you might as well get in, and we’d end up in the shower together. I would wait and not use any soap before he had popped his head up so I could say that I had just gotten in there, and I suspect he did too. We pretty much showered together every Tuesday and Thursday from then on. I got some glimpses of the rest of him, which was also very well developed. On his big, tall frame, his dick looked on the smaller side of average but he had big balls and he was much more hairy than I was, even hair all over his butt.

His hair was a light copper, and his body hair and pubes were golden, and I was fascinated by it. He had hair that ran almost without break from his ankles up to a pretty massive bush and then filtered up his stomach to the middle of his chest. He kind of looked like a wet dog with all that hair, whereas I was more of a hairless cat. Haha, not really, I did have hair, but it was just not dense, not as long, and not as curly or thick. I was dirty blonde by this age, and my body hair was, I guess, a light to medium brown, but didn't stand out that much from my skin. And my bush was more modest and then there was only a little treasure trail that went halfway up my stomach and then the little tufts of hair around my nipples and my few chest hairs. I had facial hair, but it didn't connect between the upper lip and the sides of my face and was also more sparse, and I only had to shave a couple times a week.

And we just continued showering together while chatting for a few weeks, but we had gotten pretty comfortable and had opened up to each even more. Something about being naked just made it easier to be vulnerable and open up, in ways that I hadn’t been able to talk about with anyone up to then. Having that same conservative religious background and somewhat similar family situations also helped me to just be able to tell him things. I ended up telling him how I’d been self conscious about my body, and even told him that when I was younger I used to pray for pubes. That really made him laugh, and he told me that he had the opposite experience, that he had developed before all his friends and he had been self conscious about that and his very hairy body, but that he also had a father who had been more open with him about puberty. We shared some of our embarrassing puberty stories about wet dreams and involuntary boners, although we hadn’t talked about masturbation.

I had wanted to bring it up, but was worried about ruining what we had, and still thought I was singular in my masturbatory depravity. By now, we had compared pubes, butts, even dicks and balls, just in the course of talking about puberty and everything else. He had complemented me on my dick, which was maybe a little longer than average but very girthy, and I had told him I wished I had bull balls like him. It was really nice to feel so comfortable around someone, like an older brother showing me the ropes (I had an older brother, but we didn’t have that kind of relationship).

One day, when I popped up above the shower curtain to start our little ritual, he said the usual about might as well join in but then added, “But sorry, I just got up, and I’ve still got morning wood.” I got in and looked down and saw the first erection I’d ever seen, other than my own. It wasn’t quite sticking straight out, kind of angled down a bit, but it was big and heavy looking. He was definitely a grower, and I was in awe. I couldn't help but exclaim, "Dang, that's big," which made him smile. But just the sight of that boner triggered my hormones and made my dick swell. Up to that point, our discussions had been very frank but not really sexual at all, and just seeing an erection was instantly arousing to me. Within seconds I was almost fully hard. I got flustered and embarrassed, tried to cover it, and started to try to explain it away, but in my flustered state, said more than I meant to.

“Sorry, it’s just I’ve never seen somebody else’s boner before and it’s been a while since I…” and I caught myself before admitting to masturbating, but I had said too much already. He smirked and finished my sentence for me: “since you jerked off?” I didn’t know what to say; on the one hand, I had wanted to talk about masturbation as we’d talked about so much that had been very freeing for me, but on the other hand, I was worried that I was a deviant and that it would change things. I had actually been masturbating quite a bit less, both since starting college and even more so since these interactions with Jesse. I think feeling less shame actually lessened the compulsion I had. Just as I was worried that was all about to end, standing there with a boner and my mouth open but no words coming out, he said, “Relax. Everybody does it, even if they don’t admit it. And don't be embarrassed - it's the way god made you” And he winked.

I felt such a relief that I just laughed, and so he laughed. And the thought of us laughing with our boners made me laugh more. But mine got fully hard, the kind of hard that hurts, where you can feel your heart beating in your dick. Mine is very straight and points slightly upward when I'm this hard. I was still speechless, but as the laughter died down, he pointed to my boner and said, “Wow, look at that vein on the top, it looks like it’s going to explode.” Feeling more relaxed I pointed to his noting that his vein ran more along the side.

Then he said, “Yours is so thick,” and kind of put his next to mine in comparison. So we stood there talking about our boners, and it actually felt quite natural. “Yeah, mine is thicker,” I said, “but I think yours is definitely longer.” “Here, line them up,” Jesse said. And with that, we put our dicks directly next to each other, the tip of mine touching his balls since he was taller and his tip touching my pubes, almost pressing into me. “Yep, I guess mine is a little longer,” he said. And we laughed some more. Now he was fully boned, with it sticking out and also pointing up at a bit of an angle. We continued comparing their size and shape, me pointing out his circumcision scar and extra skin that he had, and him pointing out how tight my circumcision was and the flared mushroom head I had.

With the tension gone and feeling like I could continue to be open, I asked “So, you really jack off?” Jesse looked kind of incredulous. “Are you kidding, that what my main extra curricular activity. My little brother even caught me once and told my dad on me.” My eyes got wide, just at the thought of how awful that must have been, and I asked him he’d gotten in trouble. “Oh no,” he said, “my dad told my brother that he shouldn’t be sharing someone else’s private information, but that it did give him a good opportunity to talk to us about masturbation. He said it was normal to be curious about your body, that it obviously felt good, and that while it was good to try to control our thoughts and actions, it was ok to not be perfect, and shouldn’t be too worried about that.”

I couldn’t believe it and told him how different my family was, and how I wished my dad had told me something like that. Meanwhile, our dicks were still next to each other, occasionally touching as we talked. I asked him if his brother ever caught him again. “He didn’t have to. We were much more open about it after that.” I couldn’t believe it.“You watched each other jack off?” I asked. “Yeah,” he said, “He would show me how he did it and wanted to know how I did it.” “ What do you mean?” I asked. He showed me how his brother would just use his thumb and two fingers and just kind of rub below the head. “I don’t know how he started like that, but he could cum real quick doing it. How do you do it?” Feeling beyond horny now, I wrapped my whole fist around the base of my dick and moved it up and down the length to show him. Jesse did the same, saying, “Yeah, that’s how I do it, too. And I like to pull on my balls with my other hand, too.”

I think I had a pained expression, not fully understanding, because he went on to explain, “Not hard, just kind of like this,” and he proceeded to put his hand on my nutsack, rubbing back and forth with just the slightest bit of grip. I let out a groan - it was such an intense feeling that my whole body kind of shivered. I could have cum right then, but I didn’t want this to end. “Try it,” he said, and so I cradled his big bull balls in my hand and pulled gently. They were so big, and it felt so powerful to have them in my hand. We were now each jacking our own cocks but had our left hands on each others’ balls. “Did you do this with your brother?” I asked with a grin. Now Jesse actually got slightly red, I think the only time I had seem him act embarrassed, or maybe he was just flush with excitement like me. “No,” he said, “we never touched each other’s. But if I’d known it felt this good…” and he trailed off as he closed his eyes momentarily to enjoy the moment.

I was still trying not to cum too quick, so I made a suggestion, “Let’s switch.” He grinned, not seeming to feel embarrassed any more, and I moved my hand off his balls and on to his dick, moving my other hand from my boner to my balls. It was such a weird feeling, so hard but still soft somehow like the skin I guess, and felt like your own boner but somehow still so different. Having someone jerking you off from in front of you was also a slightly different feeling because of the grip. It felt so good, but we were stroking each other kind of slowly and it helped me to hold off from cumming. “It feels so different to hold someone else’s dick,” Jesse said, “like it’s the same but not. Plus I can barely get my hand around yours,” he joked. I agreed it was similar but somehow still very different and told him I had never felt this good before. “I’m really glad I feel so open with you,” I added.

Jesse said we should try something else he was curious about and proceeded to put his dick on top of mine, stroking them together with both of his hands. With my other hand free, I moved back to his balls, so I had my balls in one hand his balls in the other, and his still felt so big, like they barely fit in my hand. Between the hot water, and excitement of the situation, I was starting to get a little overheated and felt lightheaded, and so I rested my forehead on his shoulder while we continued to rub each other at a steady pace.

After a bit, Jesse said, “well, we better get going if we’re going to get to class.” I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of stopping, but looked up at him, resigned to agree so as not to seem over eager. He was grinning again. “I’m just kidding - let’s try to cum at the same time.” Relieved, I gave his balls a tug and told him not to mess with me. “OK, I’m pretty close,” I said, “tell me when you’re about ready.” We switched back to our fist position, right hands on our own dicks and left hands on the other’s balls. Now we were jacking at a more furious pace. I could feel the cum rising from my balls and was worried I might cum before he was ready, so I started to slow down, when he blurted, “Ready!” and just started spurting cum. It came out in little bursts a few seconds apart and I could feel his balls pulsing with each spurt.

That was all I needed, and I moved my hand to just under my dickhead and just jerked from there up to the head. “Here it comes,” I said just as the last of his spurts of cum hit my pubes. And right as I started to cum, Jesse squeezed my balls and pressed his finger up against that spot below the balls, and I unleashed more cum than I ever had before. I lost control, yelling out, “Oh, Jesse!” as my cum shot up on his hairy chest and then his stomach. Mine came in spurts too, but closer together and the first spurts were like sharp, quick shots, but then it was like a steady stream of cum, like by the time it hit his chest, it was still coming out of my dick.

I was breathing hard and leaned back into him, as he leaned against the shower wall. We were slowing rubbing our dicks and still had our hands on each others’ balls. He squeezed mine again and my body convulsed, so he stopped squeezing and just started to rub gently. We spent what seemed like a long time doing that, just enjoying the post-orgasm throbbing, pushing out the last bit of cum from our dicks. My dick gets pretty sensitive so after a few minutes, I took my hand off my boner and put it up on his chest, just to kind of brace myself and get my balance. I rubbed Jesse’s chest a bit, playing with the curly golden hair.

“Wow,” he said, “you shot a lot of jizz. It’s all over me!” At that we cracked up and started to wash the cum off our bodies. Now that we had held each others’ hard dicks and balls, and even cum on each other, it seemed silly to do the little dance past each other while covering our junk. So we just washed each other, paying special attention to our deflating boners and our still sensitive nutsacks. I told him that I had never cum that much before and that what he did with my balls felt amazing. He said I could try it on him next time. “Next time?” I said, “I don’t think we should do this again.” Jesse had a look of disappointment on his face, until I grinned and said, “Maybe if you ask nicely,” and gave his nuts a squeeze. He busted up and playfully spanked my butt, saying, “Don’t be naughty. But I guess I had that coming.”

We spent longer than we needed to washing each other, just enjoying the post-nut bliss and the feel of each others’ hands on our bodies, talking about how good it felt and sharing some of our previous greatest hits of jacking off, including all the various places we had jacked off before. Given my shame-based upbringing, he was surprised to find that I had a lot more interesting ones like in the bathroom at church, in the woods behind my house, under a blanket with other people in the room, and even while driving. We didn’t make it to class that day, but resolved that we better start our showers earlier so that we wouldn’t flunk out. That wasn’t the last time we missed class, though - more to come.

I hope you enjoyed this story. I know I included a lot of details and backstory, but it’s part of what made it all so wonderful for me, and such a formative experience in my young adult life . It’s been 25 years and I still think about this. Jacked off to it this morning, in fact, so I decided to finally write it down. And now that I have, I feel the need to go rub another one out in honor of my friend Jesse!