our first time together

by Amanda I'm female, 22, and married. Even though I love sex with my husband, I still love to masturbate, too, sometimes in front of him (on rare occasions with someone else,or another couple--he always participates), but more often than not alone.I've been masturbating since I'm 12 or 13, even younger if you count just "playing with myself," not actually coming. I learned about masturbation from a friend, Kerri. She was my best friend, and would often spend the night at my house. When she slept over, we laid out sleeping bags on the floor of my room and slept side-by-side. We'd talked at times about touching ourselves "down there." She'd asked me at some point if I ever did, and at first I said no, but when she told me she did and that it felt good, I admitted that sometimes I did "by accident" in the shower and that I thought it felt good too. Some months later, during a sleepover, she asked me if I ever masturbated and made myself have an orgasm. I'd never heard either of the words before, let achieved an orgasm, at least not that I remember. She said she learned about it from one of her father's magazines, and told me that if you rubbed yourself long enough, especially the "little button", that you had a really good, hard feeling. I asked her if she ever did it,and she said yes. I was embarrassed talking about this, because I knew that she thought I'd try it, but I was also turned on talking about it. Still, I played dumb. I told her I didn't know what the little button was--even though, of course, I'd examined myself thoroughly by that point, and knew immediately what she was talking about. She explained to me where it was, what it felt like, and so on. Eventually we went to sleep. I remember wanting badly to touch myself, but couldn't bring myself to with Kerri sleeping right beside me. One day--at Kerry's house--we snuck a couple of her father's Penthouses and read the letters. They made me laugh more than turned me on, but we enjoyed looking at the pictures, and talking about the different-looking nipples the models had, and the sizes and shapes of their breasts. Our own were developing, and we speculated on how they would look when we were grown up. We took off our tops and analyzed the other's anatomy. It was all fairly innocent. In retrospect, I see this as a sort of sex play, but at the time I'd never been turned on by another person, let alone another girl, and so this "fun" or arousal, or whatever it was didn't have any definition or significance attached to it. It was just fun. We touched each other's breasts, but that's it--nothing really strongly sexual. At this point I *had* masturbated. In fact, after I learned to make myself come, I went at it furiously, so much that at times I was afraid there was something wrong with me. I found that I liked to do it in strange places,not just in bed or in the bathtub, and this worried me too. For instance, I liked to masturbate when I was babysitting, for some reason (which makes me think now that I must have been about 13, which is when I started babysitting). I always put the kids to bed as early as I could, and then would lie on the bathroom floor and diddle myself into a delirium, or would rub myself against couch cushions. One kid had a furry stuffed snake, which I took from his room and used once (how Freudian!). Sometimes I did it sitting in the Barcalounger. During a sleepover, we played around with hypnotism. We found a book--a yellow paperback, about the size of what is now called a trade paperback--on the among her parents' book. The instructions for hypnotism were little like what you see in movies--no swinging watch, no "You're getting sleepy." More, the directions were for guiding someone into a deep state of relaxation. Following the directions--reading directly from the book--we tried hypnotizing one another. She "hypnotized" me first. Actually, I faked it, and managed to do so without laughing. She tested to see if I was really hypnotized by trying to make me do stupid things, like jump in the toilet. I went across the hall into the bathroom, and hopped into the bathtub instead. We'd read that you really can't force a hypnotized person to do something he or she wouldn't ordinarily do, so this seemed plausible. Kerry tried a few more times to compel me to jump into the toilet, then compelled me back to the bedroom. She seemed unable to think of anything else to tell a hypnotized person to do. Finally, she told me to take off my t-shirt. I hesitated. She told me again. I did. She told me to take off my underpants. Again, I hesitated. When she ordered me to again, I did. She told me, then to dress again, and I did. Then it was my turn to hypnotize her. I tried to get *her* to jump in the toilet, and, predictably, she jumped into the bathtub instead. I told her to climb out her bedroom window. She she started to comply, I ordered her to stop (her room was on the second floor). I knew that she really wasn't hypnotized, because I hadn't been. Still, it was fun. I had her undress as she had me undress. Instead of having her dress again, though, I told her to sit on the sleeping bag opposite me, crosslegged. She didn't move, but I could see her supressing a smirk, so I ordered her again to sit crosslegged. She re-adjusted herself, and, sitting right across from her I could clearly see her pussy, and its first growth of pubic hair. I told her to touch herself between the legs. I had to repeat myself three times before she complied. She laid her hand over her pussy,without moving it. Giggling--pretending, in other words, that this seemed funny to me, rather than show how truly aroused I was becoming--I told her to rub. She did! She stopped after a few strokes. I ordered her to continue, and she rubbed some more. I yearned to touch my own pussy. I told Kerry to make herself have an orgasm. At this point she quit the facade--instead of continuing to pretend that she was hypnotized, she said, "Not unless you do, too." I was still quite shy about it--I never even admitted to her that I'd masturbated--but, after she coaxed me a little, I said okay. I took my underpants off, and at first we just sat across from each other rubbing ourselves. I was terribly self-conscious, much more than Kerry seemed to be, but that she was so unbashful and serious about this helped me overcome my own shyness. After a while, she said, with tension in her voice, "I have to lay down." I lay down, too. Next to one another we continued to masturbate. She came first, with a whimper. I came while she was coming, but I tried hard not to make any sound (sometimes I did when I was alone). We masturbated a 2nd time, a little later! This wasn't the last time we did this, either, although Kerry was to only girl I ever masturbated with until I got into college.