OK so here’s the thing. We all love masturbating, which is why we are on this site. But, as a male, I have observed a very different dynamic between the sexes concerning masturbation over the years. I am writing this in an effort to get other people's views on the subject, particularly the female viewpoint. There may even be a transatlantic cultural difference here so I would also like to hear from my Yankee friends So here are my ramblings on the subject and I look forward to receiving your views.
As an English male, I realised long before I even started masturbating myself, that it was considered nasty and demeaning. If you are called a “wanker” it's not good! A wanker is a joker, an idiot, a loser, inadequate and generally not up to the job when it comes to being a “proper” man.
You are a wanker if you don’t do something properly.
You are a wanker if you mess about in class (unless you humiliate the teacher, then you’re a hero!)
You are a wanker if you are no good at sports
You are a wanker because you can't get a girlfriend to have sex with (and let's face it, as a teenager anything other than full sex is a failure)
So you get the drift my friends? As a young man you don’t want to be a wanker! But then girls start messing with your hormones by wearing short skirts and growing tits and curiosity gets the better of you and you sit there all day with a raging stiffy imagining them naked. So naturally when you get home you start tugging on that stiffy to get it under control and hey Ho, you're masturbating. Yes, you are that wanker that everyone jokes about in school. But oh god it feels so good, so you keep doing it in secret. You NEVER confess it to your mates for fear of being labelled so it becomes even more furtive, secret and shameful. The more you do it and the older you get, the worse it becomes.
At some stage, if you're lucky, you get a girlfriend and then things change. Now it’s cool because you’ve got a girl to do it for you or, even better, she gives you blow jobs or intercourse. So you forget about it for a while and only resort to masturbating between girlfriends (but that just confirms it as being back in failure mode, doesn’t it?) I could go on about the various ups and downs in life that prompt changes in behaviour but I hope you get my point that, generally speaking, masturbation is always the second best option for getting off, so it is stigmatised as FAILURE.
I’ve been married twice. My first wife gave me two wonderful children and 17 years of marriage but it was pretty boring sexually as she was religiously repressed. Sex is for procreation of the species, not fun. Then I met my second wife and BOOM! Boy did I discover how great sex could be with someone who revels in all its glorious ways. For the next 20 years the only masturbating I did was mutual with her (OK and a few other women and couples as part of our swinging years). Now we are both in our 60’s and both suffering from arthritis which makes most forms of sex awkward and painful. So now we are both back to masturbating, together and separately, but this time I am totally at ease with admitting it (to my friends on SOLO at least. It's still not for public discussion among my social circle!!) I'm’ out and proud as a wanker! I confess I get great pleasure from stroking my cock and hope I can do it till I die.
OK that’s my four pennyworth over. How do you folks see it? From what I read in stories on Solo, women tend to be much more open about masturbation from a young age. Or is that just in stories? I also get the feeling that women are maybe more comfortable using vibrators and toys whereas men usually rely on hands. Owing to my experience with my first wife, I would also love to hear from people in different cultures/ beliefs/ about the moral effect of religion on their masturbation.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings. Maybe it's just me but at my time of life (64) I just find it fascinating. I would love to hear from anyone on the subject who wants to share their thoughts
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