The somewhat frightening "first time" I did the deed.
I was a late bloomer to sex. Although my parents were very open and openinded, I had attained a lot of misinformation about sex and in particular masturbation. I was exposed to the idea of masturbation being something negative mostly from the boys around me in school, as well as friends. I knew nothing about sexuality. I started having erections when I was very little, but I had no idea why or what it was for. As I got older, I heard about jacking off and jerking off but, somehow I interpreted the subject as something very bad. Some of the boys would say if you touched yourself you were "gay". I didn't know what that meant, but it seemed to be negative. Even though I was very aroused by girls and their mere presence, I honestly thought something evil would happen. Fast forward to my early teens. I would get erections constantly. Often times without any stimulus. I was able to ignore them by focusing on other things. I would occasionally pull it out and look at it and touch it but, the harsh sense of shame would overwhelm me. Being around girls was almost impossible. The first close dance I had with a girl at age 15 and boom there it was hard as a rock and I was mortified. Finally the moment came when I couldn't ignore my cock any longer. I had experienced a series of wet dreams which made feel very ashamed, but still I wouldn't masturbate. One late evening I was working on a model battleship. A movie came on and a scantily clad actress came into a scene wearing short shorts and a halter top. To my chagrin my dick become fully erect and it ached. I immediately turned the TV off and went to bed. I laid there in misery. My dick throbbed and my balls ached. I tried to sleep but I was in a state of arousal that would not be ignored. After roughly 30 minutes, I pulled my pj bottoms off and just let my dick throb in the open air which felt so good. It bobbed with every heart beat. I finally succumbed and wrapped my hand around the hot, fat shaft and OMG. It felt so good. I think I pumped it twice and my dick exploded in spasms of ejaculation and orgasm. I was covered in cum, but it felt so incredible. That night started my relationship with myself which still took many years to overcome shame.
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