Jacking Off Is Fantastic

Jerking Off is Fantastic

As we all know, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress. And it feels really good. I got to thinking about all the various places I’ve masturbated and thought it was worth reviewing. Maybe bring back some good memories to my readers. 

Unfortunately, I really can’t remember my very early days of masturbation. At least not the specifics. My guess is that it mostly took place in bed or on the toilet. The toilet would have been preferable due to no mess to clean up and the ability to lock the door. Locking my bedroom door would have raised questions I wouldn’t want to answer.

But jerking off on the toilet had a downside. I had to push my hard cock down at an unnatural angle to shoot my cum into the bowl. And to me, that detracted somewhat from the orgasm. Cumming always feels much better to me when my cock is pointing up. More on that later. 

Jacking off in bed was more satisfying although it required clean-up and if I wasn’t careful, the clean-up could involve more than just wiping semen off of my stomach and chest.

Growing up as a pre-teen we lived on a 70-acre tract and as the only boy in the family and no other kids living close by, I spent a lot of time roaming the woods behind my house by myself. Many of those hikes included taking my cock out and jacking off in the woods and watching my cum spurt onto the ground or nearby bushes. 

Like all teens in high school, my dick was hard almost all the time in class. I had a couple of pairs of pants that had a hole in the right pocket. I would manage to get my cockhead through that hole and sit in class with my hand in my pocket and massage the head of my prick. One time I went too far and ended up with a load of cum in my pocket. Fortunately it didn’t bleed through the cloth and I managed to do a half-assed clean-up in the boy’s room.

Lots of masturbation occurred when I was fully dressed. If I found myself alone but worried that I might get caught, I would just unzip my pants, take my dick out, and start pounding away. Depending upon where this was taking place, I had to be conscious of where the cum would go. Sometimes into a wad of Kleenex or toilet paper and sometimes just wherever I could shoot it. The biggest concern was getting it on my clothes where my mother might see it when she washed my clothes. That did happen often enough that I’m sure she did see it but she never said anything. 

By the time I was 15, while still jacking off every chance I could find, I had also discovered girls. But my sole interest back then was fucking them. Like an idiot, if I was rebuffed, I never even considered the fallback position of a handjob. Dumbass me. So most of my jackoffs were by my own hand and not that of a partner. 

As I got older and had more partners, masturbation by a female partner became a part of my regular sexual activity. Lots of variations on the theme occurred. My second wife and I enjoyed the use of an outdoor hot tub. I would put my dick in front of one of the jets and she would do the same with her clit. When I reached the point of no return, I would stand up and she would jump up and jack me off onto the grass around the hot tub. I did not want to ejaculate into the water for obvious reasons. She would let the water jet finish her off. 

Another thing she came up with out of the blue, was she managed to get her tongue in my asshole while jacking me off. This was the first time I begin to suspect that she was learning these tricks from another partner. This was before the internet so she didn’t pick it up there. If I had asked her, she likely would have told me that one of her girlfriends told her about it. Possibly that was true. 

Another new trick she sprung on me was lubing up my dick with Vaseline. Despite me being in my 30’s, it had never occurred to me to do that. I figured she might have learned that from whoever was fucking her besides me. 

One girl I dated for a while liked to play with my dick while we were driving in the car. The problem with it was a couple of times she went too far and I couldn’t hold back cumming. At the time you don’t give a shit about where the cum is going to go but afterwards, when there’s jism splattered all over your clothes, it becomes a real problem. She always thought it was hilariously funny for me to be covered in cum. 

For a couple of years between marriages I had a fuckbuddy who was great fun. Nothing was taboo and she loved to jack me off. She was a hairdresser and would come to my house to cut my hair. When I knew she was coming I would edge for several hours ahead of time so I was primed by the time she got there. I would strip and sit in a chair in my kitchen and she would cut my hair. When she finished I would jack off while she watched. The goal was to see  how far I could shoot. She actually got down with a tape measure and measured off a couple of inches short of five feet. On a second similar try I thought I had exceeded that number but another measurement was basically the same. After I came, we would jump in the shower together and by the time we got out, I was primed for more sex which would entail blowjobs and fucking.

One other time we both sitting naked on my balcony. She jacked me off and I shot over the balcony railings. I was on the third floor. I looked down and the first floor condo had a patio and there on the patio was a table with several blobs of semen splattered on it. Luckily nothing ever came of it. 

The two of us were in San Jose Del Cabo at the tip of Baja. We had a late dinner and then walked the totally deserted main street of the town. I had to pee really bad and she encouraged me to do it in a doorway. I said I would if she would hold my cock for me. She did and when I finished peeing she started jerking me off and kept it up until I shot a load onto the sidewalk. This was right in the middle of town but it was midnight and we were pretty much on our own. 

Then my third wife loved to play with my dick. But she had a thing about not wasting my cum. I had to finish off either down her throat or in her pussy. That was a bit of a setback for me because I’ve always got off on seeing the semen spurt out of my dick. That’s a sight I dearly love. Plenty of women get off on a good cumshot, but not my wife. 

So she would give me a great handjob but once I got close, I had to finish off down her throat. Don’t get me wrong. Those were some fabulous orgasms as she sucked the cum out of my dick. 

Later in life between marriage number two and three, I got involved with some M2M sessions. Some mutual jackoffs with another guy. Then I promoted several circle jerks with anywhere from four to six guys total. Lots of great jacking off and cum spurting. Even had my then girlfriend join one of the circle jerks and she jerked off all four of us to spurting orgasms. Great fun. One of the circle jerk guys brought his cute girlfriend to a threesome with me. No fucking but she jerked us both off. I loved it when she took some tissues and wiped my dick and chest clean of cum. Very, very hot. I’ve never really understood my reasoning, but getting all the cum cleaned up by my partner is very erotic to me. Holding my dick and wiping the still engorged dripping head clean of cum is the best. Love it. 

In recent years with the advent of the internet and endless porn available, most of my jacking takes place in front of the computer in my home office. My office chair sits on one of those large plastic mats and I can just spurt my load right onto the mat for easy cleanup. Again, cock angle has a lot to do with the degree of pleasure achieved through orgasm. If I remain sitting, I have to push my dick down in order to easily shoot onto the plastic mat. So I usually stand up and just bend over. But the process of going from sitting to standing while whacking away, somehow lessens the intensity of the orgasm. The solution is to remain sitting and just not aim my dick at the floor. Unfortunately, the result of that is cum shooting all over my chest and lap. Sometimes I’m in the nude so it would be reasonably ok to do that but most of the time I’m clothed with just my pants pulled down and the result would be sticky semen all over everything. 

It’s been years since I’ve jacked off in bed. Occasionally, I will be sitting out on my back patio and get the urge to cum. So I go ahead and jack off and then shoot onto the adjacent plot of grass. I’ve been single for quite some time now, so I can jack off very frequently with no concern of being interrupted. Although I do think one of the gardening crew might have caught a glimpse of me jacking my dick one time. Years ago, in a different house in a different town, the gardening crew was a man and his wife. She clearly saw me jacking off one time and even after I was aware that she saw me, she continued to watch until I shot my load. I was too close to even think about stopping. Then she turned away and went back to work. 

Even at a fairly advanced age, I usually jack off twice a day. Sometimes more 

Happy jacking, fellow masturbators. 

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