I masturbate in various different ways, places and with many fantasies. Sometimes I like to masturbate roughly, harshly. I may rip my pantyhose during a rape fantasy, or I may wet myself when I want to feel really dirty. Other times, like this one, are quite different.
Right now, I’m two days before my period. I feel soft, feminine, sensual. I feel almost virginal. My thoughts are focused on my vagina, and the tell-tale spot of blood that announces the start of my period. It is in this Virginic mood that I want to masturbate. I want it to be a gentle, first time experience, and so I’ve dressed the part to some extent. I’ve had a shower and have picked out white cotton panties and a training bra which (sad to say) still fits me just as it did when my mom bought it for me when I was 14. I slip it on, enjoying the soft cotton cups against my breasts. I'm hairless, of course, but that just adds to the image building in my mind. I was a long time growing pubic hair, and my baldness fits nicely with the virginal feeling. I lay on my bed and read some stories from here. I’ve searched for “First Time” stories and “Female”. I don’t want male female, or female female, I just want to immerse myself in the stories of others. The stories make me tingle. My breasts are solid, and a familiar pulse throbs between my legs. Oh, how I remember when it did that way back then! How I remember that insistent feeling that was accompanied then, as now, with a creamy discharge into my panties. I knew something was “important” about this wetness. I liked it. I enjoyed its scent, and it’s taste. I even enjoyed the sideways looks mom gave me, wondering if I’d started to experiment yet, and more importantly, experimented with who? I make my mind tease myself until I can stand the tension no more, and I permit one solitary finger to touch over the panties. I let it run from almost my asshole up my slit to that throbbing clit. As it arrives there, involuntarily, my hips curl towards it. I love the feeling. Dare I do more? When I was 13/14, putting my hand into my panties was a big deal. I was scared of hurting myself. I’d heard stories of girls “breaking themselves in”. It all sounded horrid and painful, but something makes me want to spread my knees wide. Only having that thin layer of cotton between my sex and the world makes my head spin. I know there is a small gap where my anatomy causes the crotch to pull away. I also know, because I’ve seen it on other girls, that if you sit at a certain angle, you can see a girl’s pussy lips if she sits like I am. The tenderness of this innocent moment throbs and pulses. I feel how wet I am even without touching my panties at all. I feel it leaking...leaking from my....hole! How well I remember the first time another girl referred to hers as that. “My hole’s really wet today.” she had said. I remember being fixated on that image. My hole. The hole boys would finger, and one day fuck. But for now, my hole is dripping, oozing into my panties. I close my eyes and slip a hand under the waistband of the panties...slowly....like a boy would who is testing out whether his girlfriend will let him. I feel the gentle swell of my belly, then the dip just before my pubic mound. My fingertips take an age to reach the very tip of my slit. But I don’t touch it. Instead, I arch my fingers over my vagina, tenting the panties outwards. Then, with delicious slowness, I curl one finger inwards and between the pouting lips. Oh my God, I’m so wet! The finger itself feels super sensitive. I can feel my hole (giggle) and my urethra and with a sharp stab of pleasure the tip of my clit which is now solid and desperate to play its part. Then, back to my hole. My finger gently explores, running round the outside before dipping a little further. I’m lost in my illusion, totally immersed in my “first time”. I bite the knuckle of my thumb, scared the probing finger might hurt, but oh, loving the sensations of having someone enter me for the first time ever. Deep in my gut, I feel a stirring that experience tells me is an orgasm starting, but there’s pressure building too. It almost feels like an urge to urinate, but I dealt with that in the shower. This is not a time for me to pee my panties. That is for another time...another fantasy. The finger inside me curls round and finds a super-sensitive spot. Each touch there sends shivers through me. The heel of my hand presses against my clit and finally, I can’t hold it back any more. Almost on their own, my hips begin a rhythmic rocking in time with the motion of my hand. That tiny point of contact inside my vagina is nothing like a penis or a dildo, but it is exactly how it felt the first time I let a boy finger me. He hasn’t broken my hymen, there is no pain, just this amazing feeling of something approaching, something immense. My teeth relax their grip on my thumb long enough for me to whisper two words into the night. “Fuck me” And the orgasm explodes, ripping through my body as it did back then. I feel something between my legs, liquid squirting into my panties. I remember how scared I was when I was 13. I was sure I’d hurt myself, and I was fully expecting to see blood. Or if not blood, I had surely peed myself. I was burning with embarrassment at either possibility. I was so surprised when, against my expectation, all I saw was wetness from my vagina. It smelled musky, and the material was so wet that squeezing it released little drips. Again, I feel the same sensation. I have wet my panties, but not with pee. This is pure sex. As the orgasm begins to subside, I glance down at my training bra and it intensifies the feelings briefly. Next time I feel in this mood, I will have to slip a strap off a shoulder and expose a nipple. I did that when I was 14 and it felt oh, so daring! Bra strap over shoulder, bra tugged down and nipple exposed, almost rape-like,....a pause....it’s surprising how many women have rape fantasies, and I recall how often girls at school would talk about “want someone to just throw me down and fuck me.” Another girl had told us, in great detail, of her rape fantasy. “I want a man to be so consumed with desire for me thathe rips my clothes off and forces his dick in me.” Of course, they would have hated it in real life, and rape is the most cowardly of acts, but as a fantasy... Finally, the orgasm rolls away into the distance, and I remove my wet fingers from my sodden underwear. I feel the wet material against my vagina, and I smile secretly to myself. As I did when I was 13, I bring my musky fingers to my face. I inhale my scent and then slip the finger into my mouth and suck it clean. I curl up on my left side, still wearing my wet panties, and let sleep carry me away.
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