I Had To Try

When I was at school there were a lot of people who thought that I would turn out gay. 

The very first cock that I sucked, I did after a fight with my wife. After this fight that we had I thought it was time to find out whether this was my real orientation and whether that is what lead to some of the really rediculous fights that me and my wife would sometimes get into. I decided that the best way to find out whether I was gay was to try something with a guy.

 I went to an adult cinema (we were in a city that was not where we lived) and I saw a guy a few chairs away from me playing with his dick while we were watching a (straight) porn movie. I thought he was ready for play and I moved to the seat next to him, asking whether he would allow me to play with his dick- I also took my own dick out to show that I was interested. Up to this point in my life I have never touched another guy's cock and I loved the feeling of his cock in my hand. I wanted to know what it would be like to give a guy a blowjob and asked whether he would be okay with me sucking his dick. Obviously I was hoping that he would return the favour. He was all for me blowing him and I bent over and put my lips around his average sized warm cock. The feeling of having his cock in my mouth was not an instant high,although I did find it quite pleasing. As I was sucking on his cock I started to roll my tongue around his penis, using my hand to get a double rhythm going on his hard uncircumsised dick, which felt soft to the touch as well. I loved the way that he responded to me touching him and in a few minutes he was coming. I took him out of my mouth before he came, I did not want his cum inside my mouth. He returned the favour and I really enjoyed his attention. The experience was much more enjoyable than the clinical way in which I ended up in this situation in the first place! It was also the first blowjob that I got from a guy and loved it! It was by far the best blowjob I've ever had and thought that I might return someday for more. 

Though it was an enjoyable event, I didn't crave going back for more, not immediately anyway. I did return for more eventually: not the same cinema but everywhere the urge surfaced. I finally decided to stop going, since it did not get me to a situation where I was building new relationships with people. I've had some really good experiences in adult cinemas which made me return with much anticipation. I was not a regular visitor, but whenever the urge got hold of me I would go by and spend a few lustful moments there exploring what else I might want to get into with other men. 

I believe that all men was designed to enjoy sex with other men as well. I think we are all on a bisexual spectrum with completely gay and completely straight being the two extremes, like the Kinsey scale suggests (86% bisexual: 6% completely straight and 6% completely gay). I honestly find almost all men are sexier and chemically more exciting than my own right and left hand for sure! I just need more connectedness than just visiting a cinema where everything is anonymous and you leave and that's the end of it. 

I also don't want to create a world behind my wife's back that she cannot be part of. I never shared any of these experiences with her and I think it just leaves us further apart. She is an amazing woman and I don't think I can ever love a man or another woman the way that I love her. I read a submission by someone who explained about sexual enjoyment being on a spectrum, but love for another person(s) also ... I believe that is  closer to a true reflection of who we as humans are. I think the culture to shun behaviour different from our own is sad and we need to grow past that as a species.

I don't regret visiting the adult cinemas and will most probably share some of those enjoyable experiences here as well. It brought me to a point where I know myself better and have more empathy for others.

That's it for now ...