I Ef'ed a Banana Peel So You Don't Have To!

I like weird techniques. One of the fun things about masturbation is there's so many interesting ways to do it. It can be fascinating to hear what gets people off. Probably one of the oldest I've heard either on the internet or by word of mouth is the one where you microwave a banana peel and proceed to fuck it. The idea is the warm, gooey insides are supposed to mimic a vagina. I've heard people talk about this but I never heard of anybody actually trying it (for good reason) and I always thought it sounded like a silly idea (because it is). But just like everything looks tastier when you're hungry, everything sounds like it would be more pleasurable when you're horny. In my case I hadn't gotten off in three days and I was needing a release which is why I somehow thought this would be a good idea (it wasn't).  For starters, I chose bananas that were roughly the same size as my penis (for a better "fit"). I really didn't think it through. If I did I would have realised that means that my penis wouldn't fit inside them. Banana peels aren't stretchy and they spilt pretty easily. If you do plan on trying this, I suggest getting one larger than your size but I don't think it will matter. I peeled the first one and ate the banana but then thought it wouldn't give me enough coverage. I wanted a complete sleeve so with the next one I just pulverized it with my fingers and squeezed out most of the insides.  I popped both in the microwave. I just put both of them in for a minute and decided to just stop it when I thought they were "done". They started sizzling before long and I realized that maybe this isn't a great idea. When I took it out parts of it actually felt cold and other parts were hot and I remembered how microwaves heat things very unevenly. Which is what makes this so dangerous because the peel could feel fine but when you penetrate it you could end up sticking your dick into banana magma. The thought occurred to me that if I burned myself my penis would look like Mikhail Gorbachev's head.  So I let the peels cool down and brought them upstairs and laid down a towel. I got myself started with my hand and then when the peels were the right temperature I slipped one on. It totally split pretty much instantly and within a few strokes it just kind of disintegrated. So I ended up just taking two peels and making a banana peel / cock sandwich, one in each hand and  rubbing them up and down. It made a terrible mess and I splattered banana everywhere. So I decided to move to the shower to finish myself off to make it easier to clean. The slipperyness of the banana felt good, but not that good. I find the warmth doesn't really add to the experience. Maybe it simulates the warmth of body heat but it doesn't add to the pleasure.  It certainly wasn't better than doing it the good old fashioned way but I felt like I was commited now so I just went for it. The orgasm was nothing to write home about and I'm standing in my shower covered in cum and banana goo wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. And then I showered and cleaned the whole thing up.  So there you go. If you were ever curious about Jaying-O with a banana peel I hope I at least saved you the trouble. Maybe you could work on it to make it more satisfying but it's not worth it. Just buy a fleshlight.