First young cum experience

When my sexual awakening occured at a younge age, I didn't even understand what sex was.  I had seen scrambled porn on TV from the Playboy channel that we didn't subscribe to, but I just didn't fully get it.  I just saw it as naked women gyrating around and moaning for whatever reason.  I'll I knew is that I liked girls and that thinking about them made me hard.  

I would lie in bed and imagine making out with certain girls from school.  I would begin to notice that a clear, sticky goo would leak out of my dick tip.  Not realizing that it was precum, I didn't think much of it.  

Naturally, I started to want more from my imagination make-out sessions.  Imagining that I was kissing a girl wasn't enough.  Instinctively, I begin humping my pillow, thinking I was humping a girl.  Once again, I didn't even understand what that meant or why I wanted to do it.  It just felt good. 

One day I was hanging out in the basement by myself and I got horny for no reason (that happened frequently).  Rather than go upstairs to my room, I figured that I was just going to mess around right there in the basement.  Understanding now that humping pillows felt good, I grabbed a pillow from the basement and locked myself in the small separate office that was in the back corner of the basement.  I decided that I was going to hump the shit out of this pillow.  And keep in mind that was not a smooth pillow - it was a thick fabric, ridged pillow.  I stripped buck naked with my young prick at full attention.  Being completely nude in a room that I had never been nude before in made me excited. I kneeled above the pillow, pressed my hard dick against it and thrust my hips back-and-forth, gliding my dick over the fabric.  Feeling that sensitive area on the front side just below the cock head rub against the coarse fabric was unlike any feeling I had felt at that point.  I noticed that the longer and harder I thrusted, the more I had this feeling that my dick was going to explode.  At first I thought that I might be about to piss myself.  But then I didn't care.  All I knew is that rubbing my dick felt great and I had to continue.  

Still on my knees, naked, my hands on the floor in front of me, my dick stroking against the pillow.  A physical feeling of intensity I had never felt before.  I kept going to see what would happen.  Finally, it happened.  A euphoric wave came over my whole body, a feeling of pleasure that my young body had never experienced before.  A white, milky, warm, sticky fluid coming out of my dick and onto the pillow.  

And then, calm, restfulness.  The horny feeling went away.  But also a feeling of guilt.  Am I a weirdo for doing this? I looked down at my cum and I had no idea what it was.  All I knew is that I needed to clean up that pillow....

Needless to say, I returned to that basement office several times after that and continued to soil that poor, brown pillow.  But the guilt would still follow me....

Finally I got the bright idea that I didn't need to use a pillow; I could use my hand.  My first experimental hand masturbation was by holding my right hand flat and rubbing the inside of my fingers against the top of my cock.  I didn't use a grip method.  Didn't use lube either - never heard of it.  This method forced my cock against my stomach - that was acutally ideal for keeping the cum spurts from flying everywhere.

The next hand technique I tried was with two hands, lightly gripping my dick like I was playing an oboe.  I would massage my dick lightly with my finger tips.  Since my dick was then pointed straight up, I soon discovered that my cum would shoot straight up.

At this age I was masturbating furiously and frequently, despite me feeling afterwards like I was doing something wrong.

I finally wised up one day when I was in the public library.  I snuck over to the teen sexuality section and opened a book on male sexuality.  I found a description for masturbation - that's when I realized, shit, that's exactly what I've been doing.  That's when I started the process of shedding my guilt.  It wasn't until I was probably about 15 before I finally let go and allowed myself to masturbate and pleasure myself freely and with joy.  

I've been masturbating ever since and every experience is wonderful and pleasurable.