Discovering and accepting my bisexuality

I am 75 and have known I am bisexual since I was 13. That was the year I discovered masturbation and started giving myself dry orgasms by pumping my little hairless boy boner. All my life I had a fascination with penises and never passed up an opportunity to see one. Penises fascinated me. I had a cousin who came over occasionally. Several times we frotted our little boy boners in a fort I constructed with castoff boards and scrap sheet tin. Once I started masturbating, my fascination with penises increased to the point that I thought about them all the time. 

Junior High brought naked boys in the gang showers after gym class. We had grades 9-12 in our gym class so the selection of penises to look at was widely varied. Some of us had little boy penises, small and hairless with wrinkled ball sacks holding our developing testicles. Others had larger penises, balls and pubic hair. These penises were visions of beauty to me. As I looked this cockfest over after gym classes I found it difficult to keep from getting an erection, small though it might be! I did not want to get a hard-on in the gym showers and called out as "queer!" 

I became aware of a rising desire to have a cock in my mouth. I do not know from where it originated, but I found myself wanting to jack these penises like I jacked my own, as well as sucking them. One of my masturbation fantasies was I would sit on the floor of the shower as all these boys stood around me masturbating and cumming. This desire became stronger and stronger until thoughts of activity with other males was my daily masturbation fantasy. I thought about girls too, for sure, but girls were unattainable. Horny teenage boys were the alternative.

I felt guilty over my masturbation habit as well as over my desire to suck cocks. The Catholic church made it clear that such actions would make me a BAAAD person and lead me to burn in hell. I viewed my desire for homosexual activity as depraved, a huge character defect. And I wanted it so badly.

My confusion deepened when I entered the church to get my altar boy vestments to take them home and get them cleaned when I entered the sacristy from an outside door walking in on our parish priest, who severely condemned homosexuality, sucking another priest's cock! 

I was 16 when I advanced to sexual contact with another person. It was in the summer between 9th and 10th grades. I was at the local swimming pool one day and a friend, Bobby, asked me if I wanted to camp out with him. My cock stirred in my swimming trunks as I had seen his cock in the gym showers. It was good sized and he had a nice bush. I thought maybe this was a chance to finally suck a cock.

"Sure! Let's do it at my house. I have a tent set up in the back yard!"

We played strip poker in the tent. It was using a game as an excuse for getting naked together. Just stripping to be naked with each other would be too "queer," we would be openly admitting our homosexual desires to each other. We talked about the girls we saw at the swimming pool commenting on their titties, pussies and asses. 

I lost quickly and was naked in front of bobby with my little 4" hairless penis hard as a rock. Bobby took off his pants and I saw my first hard cock up-close. His hard adolescent penis was a thing of beauty, about 5" and fairly thick. He had a full brown pubic bush. 

We kept talking about girls and our cocks became harder and harder, pulsating with our beating hearts. 

"Well, what'll we do now?" he asked. I decided to take a chance. I figure since we were both sitting there with hardons, we both wanted some sexual activity.

"How about if we lay down and put each other's cock in our mouths at the same time I figured this was a good strategy that would prevent one of us from calling the other "queer" for sucking a cock because we would both be cocksuckers. We had never heard of 69. This was risky. I prepared to hear an expression of disgust as well as being outed as queer.

"OK" he said, immediately lying down and assuming the position. We lay together with our crotches in each others' face. That beautiful hard on of his was right in my face, he had a sexy spicy smell. He immediately took my little 4" cock into his mouth. I took his cock into my mouth. I immediately fell in love with cocksucking. I loved the feeling of his cock going in and out of my mouth. I loved sucking on his glans. I loved its firmness and texture. I loved watching his pubic hair as he pumped his cock in and out of my mouth. We lay there sucking cocks in silence, the only sound being the slurps and smacks of our teenage cocksucking and the occasional, "Be careful with the teeth!" We were enjoying the sensuality of each others' mouths. This was the 60s and sex education wasn't a thing. We were so naïve we did not know a cock could be sucked to orgasm. We just enjoyed sharing this forbidden erotic pleasure with each other.

Teen males suck cocks for one of two reasons. The most common is just being horny and wanting to orgasm and the only available sexual outlets were masturbation or sex with another horny teen male. After they start getting girlfriends, they stop having sex with boys. The second reason is if they are queer for each other's cock. Bobby and I loved it because we were queer for it. There was no talk about girls while we were giving each other orgasms, it was all about being marvelously queer for each others cock with each of us doing his best to give the other great orgasms. We would each have 5 or 6 orgasms on the sleep outs. Bobby always brought a "sperm rag" for us to clean ourselves up with.

Since we were so naïve we didn't realize we could cum from cocksucking, we always brought each other off through masturbation. It was wonderful, to be so horny and so liberated that we could touch each other sexually in any manner we chose. We zipped our sleeping bags together and cuddled up. I would spoon against him, my cock against his ass crack, and reach around and play with his cock and balls. We would go to sleep like that. It was so sensuous to have this intimacy with another boy, it was so fulfilling to have a partner to bring to orgasm. We would suck and masturbate each other again in the morning. Sometimes we would wake up in the night and get each other off. Oh, the joys of adolescent horniness! I loved pumping his cum out of his cock while watching and hearing him have his orgasm. All that came out when I orgasmed was some clear liquid. 

That summer we masturbated each other in his bedroom, my bedrooom, both our backyards and his screened inn porch. Fourteen year olds need a lot of orgasms! We would often watch each other masturbate. When one of us was ready to cum, he would announce his impending orgasm and the other would  offer his ass and let him hump his asscrack and cum there. I still masturbate to the memory of his cock and our sexual escapades. He was my first sexual contact and has passed on now.

One highly erotic episode occurred when I was hitchhiking. An older gentleman guy picked me up and seduced me with dirty stories. He sucked my cock to orgasm in a toilet at a roadside rest stop. It was wonderfully erotic to let this stranger suck my cock.

As much as I enjoyed the eroticism of occasional homosexual hookups, I was still severely conflicted about it. I didn't want to be a bad person, and homosexuals were, according to society at the time, bad people. 

And still my uncontrollable homoerotic feelings continued. I never acknowledged them, I just let things happen the way they did. I never had a man cum in my mouth until 1972 when I was home for a visit and I sucked off a guy, Phil, who's band I used to drum for. We did it in my old bedroom in my parents' house, they were at a campground so we had privacy for our cocksucking tryst. It was hot, taking a load in my mouth in the same bed where I used to masturbate and think about taking a load in my mouth, and where Bobby and I shared orgasms together. 

Phil is bisexual and well-known locally as a cocksucker. At any given time he was having sex with his wife, at least one other woman and as many men as he could, many of them married. He probably sucked every cock in town at one time or another. It is amazing how many married guys are enthusiastic cocksuckers. I wasn't too crazy about it the first time Phil came in my mouth, but I got over that. I now thoroughly enjoy the taste of a man's semen. I love sucking a man off and cleaning up his wet spermy cock with my tongue. 

I let Phil suck me off after band jobs back in the day but was way too hung up to reciprocate. He is now 89. We got a motel room for an afternoon a couple months ago and spent a lot of time hugging and kissing as well as cocksucking. For a time I had a music studio and he and I used to suck each others cocks there several evenings a week. We went 69 a lot of the time. I love mutual cocksucking. We shared so many orgasms together.

I love watching and making others cum, male or female. My favorite porn is vids of me sucking cocks. I have a large and eclectic porn collection I use for stimulation while masturbating. I love orgasms. I love masturbation. Cialis allows me to get erect. At my age, just having a hard on is a thrill!

I am no longer hung up about my homoerotic inclinations. I accept that my desire to suck cocks is a need that comes from deep inside me. I have come out to my wife and a couple friends as bisexual. My wife does not have any issues with my bisexuality and even said she suspected it for years. I will suck cocks for as many years as I have left.

I now fully accept my bisexual nature. No one has the right to tell anyone else what they may or may not do with their own body. We are entitled to all the pleasure we can have so long as everything is consensual. Solo Touch has been a great aid to my accepting my own homosexual nature. When I was a teen, I thought I was a freak for being a masturbator, and especially when I became aware of my deep-seated homosexual desires. Now I know that sexual activity between adolescent males is pretty much the rule, not the exception. Solo Touch has allowed me to come to understand my homosexual inclinations, to accept, even welcome them. I love masturbating to the stories here, especially adolescent first time stories with young males discovering the pleasure their own bodies can give them.

Happy masturbating, everyone!