Deeply Troubled....Yet So Horny

Bottom line, I’ve been offered a job with one of the best orthodontic dental practices in the country, but it means moving to Florida. Stevie is just getting established in her own career here.  If I turn this down, it would be a majorly bad decision, but..... Night times are tortuous. It’s not that we aren’t talking, we are, and it’s not that I don’t love her, or she doesn’t love me. We just can’t see a way through this.  So, I found myself lying awake, staring at the ceiling for the fourth night in a row. Stevie was next to me asleep...or pretending to be....she’s been saying how tired she has been for a month or so now, and she doesn’t look well either.  So, I’m lying there, t shirt and panties, and trying to unpick what I want to do as opposed to what I should do, when I noticed my hand had found its way to my mound.  I felt a familiar little tingle, and a deep, deep need. So I let a finger graze over my clit. Just once, but it was more than enough to let me feel myself getting very wet, very quickly. Stevie murmured something in her sleep. I looked over at her, so cute, so adorable.  Last night, I curled around her and tried to get something started, but she just took my hand and held it.  No good....got to do something. Should I get up and go do it in the bathroom? No, fuck it. It’s my bed, she knows damn well what a physical person I am, and she shouldn’t be surprised if I need to get myself off.  No, wait, that’s too mean. I feel a tear roll down my face. I let my hand track up to my belly and then down under the waistband. Further, further still until.....oh God, im wet! My clit is like a button, hard, erect, demanding attention. Oh, how I wish it was Stevie’s hand, or mouth touching it.  In a flash I feel conflicting emotions. Pure horniness, white hot anger, and a deep, heart throbbing love. I slip a finger inside and curl it round to my g-spot. I press hard and feel that familiar “I need to pee” sensation that is so primal, so sexual.  Im instantly worried. I haven’t cum for three days...what if I DO pee...what if this is a massive world-record squirt. Will Stevie be mad at me? No, fuck her....if we were still intimate thismwouldnt be necessary. Oh..no..I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. It’s not her fault at all.  An image flashes across my confused mind. Stevie lying on her back on a haybale. We had sneaked into a barn while,on vacation together. It was pouring with rain and we had been caught in it. Stevie was lying back, her legs spread, and I was kissing her pussy, licking her, probing my tongue inside her. I remembered looking up at her after she had cum in my mouth....she was crying.  A slight movement of my finger and pressure on my clit with the heel of my hand....I feel myself balanced right on the tipping point of an orgasm....damnit....it just..won’t...come... Another image comes, unbidden. A shopping mall. Stevie standing behind me had slipped her hand up my dress and into my panties from behind. A few moments of fingering me had reduced me to a soaking mess down below. She had looked round to make sure no staff were about and then had reache around me and shoved her other hand down the front of my by now useless panties. A finger on my clit, and a finger from her other hand wormed it’s way up my ass.  Lying in the bed next to Stevie, my head raises off the pillow as I cum into my panties. I feel myself flood, but I truly don’t give a fuck in that moment. The slight movement of the duvet wafts my scent into the room. I realise my left foot is on the floor, my right knee up , bent and splayed to the side, over Stevie’s sleeping body.  I come down from my orgasm, and know what I have to do.  Tomorrow, I will decline the job. I love her too much for anything to separate us. I’m earning good money as it is, and there are promotion prospects....I’m good at what I do, and her love is worth it.