I posted nudes online before I probably should have. I don't regret it though because I got off knowing strangers could see my intimate areas. Occasionally I would get comments like, "What if your family saw these?"
I'm not really close with anyone in my family. I have two much older brothers from my dad's first marriage that I text every other Christmas. That being said though, the thought of them seeing my pictures and getting off to them drove me mad with pleasure. It sparked a kind of dark fantasy: to imagine that situation from their position. I started thinking about what it would be like to have a little sister. Someone to watch grow up and teach about dating and sex and masturbation and explore with. Sometimes I'll think about my imaginary sister breaking her arm at soccer and it would be my job to bathe her or even wipe her (I have a major pee fetish). The thought of sharing such intimate moments with someone I loved, a constant in my life, someone so gentle gives me a different kind of orgasm, it kind of fills my heart with warmth and longing. I'll imagine we're swimming together and hugging and knowing we love each other as we feel each other's bodies pressed against us. I'll imagine we fell asleep watching a movie together and wake up with that same feeling. I'll imagine we have to share a bathroom and will not care about nudity or whether one of us has to pee while the other's taking a bath. She'll ask me about masturbation and I'll show her what I do and maybe she'll even let me try it on her. The thought of feeling her, her feeling me, pretending it's her hand finger fucking me instead of mine, or even her tongue rubbing my clit and pussy lips instead of my hand gives me a kind of warm feeling with the usual pleasure of an orgasm that I wish I could experience in real life.
My current boyfriend is the only person I've ever had long term recurring intimacy with. While I love that he's rugged and masculine I do sometimes wish I had something like this with a cute gentle girl. I could just be trying to relive memories because I had my first experience very young and also had an experience with a much younger girl when I was in high school.
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