Being A 'Sub'

I am unashamedly submissive in sex. I love being dominated…and yes, even humiliated from time to time. To me, submission is a spectrum. At one end there’s the lying on my back and someone doing whatever they want with me. At the other end… an end, by the way that is still developing, is being humiliated …the end of the dog collar and lead, the spankings and canings, and the cuckolding. 

Here are a few examples.

Tied up and nowhere to go. 

I’m in one of our reception rooms. Its door is wide open, and we are busy here today. I am naked, bound hands and feet, and lying on a couch. Now and then I see people walking past the door. Tradesmen, mainly. Today is the day of boiler service, some electrical work, and some additional plumbing. I writhe on the couch in anticipation. Emily has told me that if anyone sees me and becomes aroused, they must be allowed to do anything they wish with or to me. One rule….i must not speak. I must convey my acquiescence through movement only. Now and then, Emily stops one of the men. Emily stands sideways on to the doorway speaking to a man who is out of my sight. She glances in now and then. The tension is almost unbearable, but it is exquisite. She leaves me there for the entire morning. 

And she doesn’t finish me off. 

Out and about. 

Today, we are out and about, just taking a long, long walk. My right hand is in her coat pocket, holding her hand….and hiding the handcuffs that bind us together. All through the walk, Emily is being disparaging, insulting…and threatening. She asks me how wet I am. (Very) She wonder aloud how much I must smell of cunt. (Again, a lot) We reach the library in the village. She tells me she won’t be long, and expertly slips one end of the handcuffs through a metal ring designed for people to tie up their dogs. And no, these aren’t sex handcuffs….the ones that can be easily released. These are the real deal. I stand with my hand behind my back, hiding my captivity. When Emily emerges a few minutes later she walks right past me to the cafe over the road and sits at an outdoor table enjoying a leisurely coffee and just watching me. She knows I am desperate for a pee. She insisted I didn’t go to the bathroom before we left home. I am very uncomfortable. Eventually, and unhurriedly, she crosses the road and we resume our walk. I impress on her how desperate I am…and it’s not made up either…I really am desperate now. Her response is to slow down, at this rate, I won’t make it out of the village. …but then, that’s what Emily has in mind. 

We walk on, talking a shortcut across the village green where she meets a friend and we stop! I can’t hold on.  I feel a small drip or two escape into my panties. By now, there are sharp pains in my bladder. Another trickle. I feel the warmth and wetness spread, and I bring my legs together. I can’t wait another second. Slowly…painfully slowly….I allow myself to pee. I pee so slowly it runs down between my legs unseen. But Emily knows. She ends her conversation and leads me forward. “Not so easy…not so easy for you.” I force myself to stop as we walk, but I’m far from done. Her friend is still in sight when Em brings me to a stop. “Here.” She says. The one word of command would be enough, but she follows it up with more instruction, instruction which I must obey. “Stand with your feet apart. No, a little more than that. There that’s it. Off you go.” I relax and pee my panties freely. Although this is the least sexy of situations, as I wet myself I feel my clit pulsating and I know it’s not only pee that’s in my undies. I hear it splatter onto the grass in a direct stream, anyone casually looking this way will see me wetting myself openly. Fortunately for me, no-one does. 

She makes me walk home wet. But one we get there, I am rewarded by some of the best sex I’ve ever had. 

Dog on a lead. 

As soon as I got up and showered, Emily stopped me as I walked towards our walk-in closets. “Where do you think you’re going, bitch?” The words…the perfect weight to her voice of love and order had me wet in a second, mainly because I knew what was coming. For a moment, I stood there, feeling my vagina open inside me. “Well? Go on. You know where it is.” Yes, I knew where ‘it’ was….a ‘dress’, if you can call it that, that consists of a dog collar around my neck, leather straps over my shoulders and over and under my tits, a thin one down the back and one round my waist, and a leather strap over that goes between my bum cheeks and legs. It’s a bugger to get into… and half a size too small. (Emily had it made intentionally so it would be uncomfortable….apart from the crotch strap. More on that later.) And this is what I will wear today….all day. The first time Dani saw me in this she was rendered speechless, but then that was the idea. No one other than Emily may speak to me today and I must obey every single command instantly

At breakfast, (which I am eating with my bum in the air off a dish on the floor, Emily’s voice rolled out with “Masturbate”. I roll onto my back, pull the now wet strap between my legs aside and begging to frig myself. (Somewhat gratefully, truth be told. I’m insanely horny and I need a cum badly.) Emily lets me get right to the edge and then orders me to stop. Fucker! We go about our morning’s business, phone calls, even one Zoom meeting in which I am careful only my face shows. While I am on the Zoom call, Emily takes a vibrator to my inner thighs and vulva…but avoids my hole and clit.

“You can have her make you cum if you like.” Emily makes the offer casually to Dani. “Come on then, finger me.” Dani tries to sound authoritative but misses the mark. She’ll learn.  I am aching to get my tongue between her labia. Dani tastes insanely sexy. Sometimes, I think I could cum just by licking her out. She’s wet too, or so I discover as two of my fingers slip inside her. It doesn’t take long to get her to the point and I’m just about to lean in for a quick lick or two when I hear Emily’s voice crack across the room like a whip. “No! No pleasure for you.” I look over and see she is masturbating too. Both of them cum together, Dani on my fingers and Emily on her own.

Did you know sexual anticipation can actually ache? Well, it can. I am so open inside it’s hurting my muscles keeping me like this, and you don’t even want to know what’s pouring from inside me. I reek of sex. 

Emily keeps me like this most of the day, then, she clips a dog lead to my collar and has me go outside into the grounds. Fortunately, this particular day it’s mid summer, but she has made me do this in the snow too. Sometimes, she makes me pee outdoors like a dog, but not this time. 

I never know what’s coming. Sometimes she will make love to me. Sometimes, she will squat over my face and masturbate, sometimes, she might make me watch from a distance. Once, and once only, she fingered Dani off in front of me. I would have loved to watch her lick Dani out or Dani to lick Emily, but then torture it part of this. 

When Emily finally grants me release, as I said, she might make love to me. This takes one of two forms. It’s either so tender and loving that it makes me cry, or it is verbally abusive in the extreme which makes me, to coin a phrase, cum my fucking brains out. 

I wonder what this time will be? 

Tying my dog lead to a wooden spar, she stands back and regards me from a distance. “You look like a fucking whore.” As she speaks, she is slowly taking her clothes off. “You smell like one too. I can smell your cunt.” She knows I like Silence of the Lambs, and often includes some dialogue from that epic film. She pushes two fingers inside herself, but my sharp eyes and even sharper nose have already determined that, if anything, she is wetter than I am. She pulls two fingers out and flicks them at me. A little girl cum splatters on my face. Multiple Miggs in the next cell. Briefly, I wonder what it would be like to walk down a row of sex-starved men, and have them flick their semen at me. Deliciously depraved, I suspect. 

Then she turns me round and bends me forward and licks my bum hole which, she knows, drive me fucking insane. She reaches for something on the table and my heart leaps. When I bought this place, there were a lot of leather working tools left behind. One of them looks very like a curved penis. T is highly polished wood, thick and heavy. I had joked at the time that I could make use of that! Little did I know. Emily fucks me with it. Brutally. “Come on then, you little cunt. You’ve been begging for this all day. Fucking do it! Cum!” She times the last word nanoseconds before my insides explode. I scream. The horses champ and skitter in their stalls, but all I am aware of is the sheer rivers of lava-hot ecstasy coursing through me. 

Emily does this rarely. Maybe three or four times a year. Sometimes she will do it to a far lesser extent. We exist to please one another, and Emily has her kinks too. I will ask her if either she will tell you about them, or whether I may. But I adore being submissive. 

Kneeling before a man, his hands on my head and looking up at him while I suck his cock is heaven on earth. Same if it’s a girl standing in front of me. He never knew it, but when I was 19, a guy said “Would you lick my bum?” The thought of it, the way he said it, his tone, and the thought of the act itself was fantastic. You can’t get much more submissive than licking someone’s arse. 

As with most things, there’s a balance, and while I am, for the most part a dyed in the wool sub, there have been times when I’ve had to take a more dominant role. I’ve learned that this can be enormous fun too…and sometimes a privilege, like when you lead someone who, for one reason or another has been sexually repressed into the freedom of enjoying their body, well, what a privilege that can be. 

Let me end by telling you about Grace. (Of course Grace! With a name like that what else could she be other than sexually constipated.) Catholic family, yes of course, but far more than that. Mum was in the guild of St Martha, and both were in Opus Dei, the dad heavily involved therein. One entire room of their home was a chapel complete with altar candles and, by special permission of the Bishop, even a reserve of sacrament there too! Grace was one of seven daughters, each one around a year apart, and each one, I have no doubt, an attempt for a son. The truly weird thing was that there were no doors on any of the upstairs rooms….including the bathroom. (Sometimes I wonder where the definition of child abuse starts.) Grace tells me that bath time was strictly restricted to 10 minutes and was “monitored” by mum who used the opportunity to ‘clean the bathroom’. (No chance of a quick rub there) Likewise, apparently both mum or dad would get up in the night several times and creep around the house. “We never knew when we’d be alone.” Moaned Grace. 

So, Grace. Now and then, Grace would forget herself a laugh like a drain at some course joke one of us had told, or shown avid interest in a sexual conversation before taking herself off to the chapel to seek forgiveness. (No doubt in very moist panties.) One afternoon, I found myself walking home with Grace. We were talking about something one of the other girls was enthusing about, namely the delights of a swimming pool jet. Grace asked me if I thought it was true, I told her from experience I knew that it was, which led to the whole ‘self pleasure’ thing and Grace asking how it might be done. No need to ask if she was still a virgin, so I thought I’d just tell her about clitoral masturbation rather than suggest she goes a grabs a cucumber and fucks her brains out with it. At one point she said she didn’t understand, so I had briefly tugged my panties down, and pointed out a few landmarks and methods. 

The next day…well….it was like she had experienced a divine vision. Eyes wide open, and her voice rammed with excitement she described those oh, so familiar feelings of a successful Jill. “tingling…..soaking wet….felt like I was gonna pee…blah blah blah.” But the sweetest sound to my ears was her response when I suggested that she maybe didn’t have anything to seek forgiveness over. A sneer and heartfelt “fuck that!” Was all I needed to hear. 

No, we never did anything together. The only enjoyment I got was flashing myself at her…I got….still get…an insane amount of pleasure when I expose myself.