Balance

I've come to learn that edging is an art form I'm learning to love and embrace, and that it requires the extraordinary talent of balance. Of course I have moments where I wish I could focus my entire day around honoring my sweet beans' need to be attended to for as long as the day and my discipline will allow, but I'm very rarely in the position to fully accomodate that. So until we find ourselves in a place where we'll have all kinds of free time and flexibility to play, and until I can build up a much stronger tolerance (I've been giving in to the pleasure right away because I'm relatively new to the practice and too tired to truly let my sweet bean take full reign over me), we've found a way to compromise through our little moments we share together. For now, we'll do whatever simple acts we can throughout the day within reason. I get a lot of thrill about being incredibly private about my relationship with masturbating (I like it being a secret we share together from the rest of the world), so the idea of touching myself to completion in public no longer turns me on the way it used to. I'll still try it if the moment calls to my sweet girl, though. This is her time, after all. Plus, she's not always wrong :) I do still share her joy of public play. It's simply morphing into an entirely new experience now that we're embracing making the pleasurable feeling last as long as we can stand to.  To honor my privacy she'll ask for something innocently thrilling from me like to pull my breasts out of my shirt while we're outside somewhere, at work, or in the shared home spaces.  I've sometimes "accidentally" left the door open while I pee at home, too. Ocasionally she'll ask me to step out of my comfort zone and expose her to the elements and surroundings we're in. I'll sometimes sneak in a few strokes and play with her long, curly hairs if we're in public or could be interrupted/caught, but I'll only honor that if I can get her hidden enough to where it wouldn't be hard to let her really feel how much I want her to feel good. My more private side not only finds a lot more thrill in being utterly discreet and having this really sneaky secret from everyone I do and don't know happening around them, but I also do not want to get caught and/or arrested. I want to protect her from that risk so we can publicly play as privately as possible. This one time at a wedding reception I intentionally did not wear any underwear to, my sweet asked for nuturance. She wanted all of her juices to be caressed all along her hood and hairy lips at an excrutiatingly slow pace while I was in the middle of a conversation with a stranger. I knew I was never going to see this person again which drove me wild so I went for it. I did it for her, and I'm so thankful I honored her with her wishes. To manage being discreet like that but also so free to feel her warm wetness through my slow, deliberate flicks of my pointer and middle finger from her hole to her hood in front of someone brought me so much joy. I excused myself for what I thought was a much needed trip to the bathroom to show my true devotion to her, but now that I know about edging we know why doing that ended up being something we wish we hadn't done. My sweet bean did not yet have the language to tell me that I had to earn that release by working for it as slowly and creatively as possible.     Now that we've been embracing spending more time together, my sweet bean and I have been brought to a new space of needing to reestablish our balance with one another and I'm thankful we're able to be so open with our present needs. I understand and I'd be honored to fulfill her wishes of finally being comfortable with loving masturbation a lot more than sexual intercourse with another person or people right now and being open to as many of the ways she wants it to exist in our life-including being comfortable with being public (where y'all come in). She understands my relationship with the importance of quality versus quantity when it comes to experiencing her taking full reign over my body, and she also willingly succumbs to my need to be more private and protective of her in the world when she needs nurturing. She understands how precious she is to me and that I want nothing to hurt her. It's a slow journey but we'll get there together;)