Awakening (long!)

I've lurked around ST for over a decade, reading and enjoying the stories, wondering which were true and which were not (though it's usually easy to tell which are not!).  I've always enjoyed the "awakening" stories, where teens start to discover themselves.  If you're interested in "eight inch throbbing cocks" or "ropes of cum", this isn't a story for you.  I also have never shared it (well, except much later in life, with a few very close friends). I've replayed it many times, thought about what might have been or what could have happened, and gotten myself off repeatedly over the last 40+ years.  

When I was little, I was always chubby.  The chubby little girl with wildly curly hair. My parents were older-much older.  My father had even been a pilot in the Navy during World War 2.  My mother was a bit younger, and I was a complete accident.  I had two much older brothers (they were out of the house by the time I was in preschool), and I rarely saw them.  My parents were also wildly religious and I went to a tiny Christian school.  I knew that babies were made with a penis in a vagina.  That was about it.  No sex ed in school, no having "the talk", and masturbation was never discussed. I didn't have many friends-and the few I had were as hopelessly clueless as I was.  My parents didn't allow sleepovers when I was young, I didn't like watching TV, so I read a lot of books. And I read a lot of non-fiction about history politics, partly because my Dad had been in the war.  Socially, I was a basket case.  Mentally and intellectually, I could hold my own. All of a sudden, about halfway through seventh grade, I got my period and started growing. I also discovered field hockey in PE, and spent hours practicing.  I wanted to be good enough when I got to high school.  I must have grown five or six inches in height.  By the time I was in high school, I was nearly 5'7, and wasn't the chubby little  girl anymore-but I had boobs.  And my mess of curly hair.  

Which brings me to my most memorable summer during High School.  My parents were sending me to an all-girl high school in another town, where I'd stay with my grandparents. I wasn't too concerned about it, since I had little interaction with boys.  Now, I had urges back then. I'd feel a pressure around my pussy, like a warm sensation. But I had no idea what it really all meant.  I knew one time we had been doing rope climbing in P.E., and the pressure from the rope was something I really liked.  That was also the first time I found my panties were damp. I was a little puzzled because it wasn't period.  Did I mention I was clueless?  During middle school, the boys in my tiny school I had known forever, and they were little boys. So I had urges, but no opportunity to act on them-even if I had known what to do. 

I had one really good friend, Anna.  Her Dad was a deacon in their church, so my parents trusted them. We'd been friends a long time.  Anna had one brother, Sam (who was three years younger), and an older brother, Josh.  Josh was four or five years older that we were and was finishing his freshman year of college in Texas. I hadn't seen him for a long time, maybe years. It turns our Anna and her family were going camping with their boat up at a lake in the mountains at the end of the July for five days, and she wanted me to come.  Her parents and my parents talked, and to my surprise, my parents said I could go.  I rode up to the lake with Anna, Sam and her parents.  After we got to a very quiet campsite (this was back in the 80's), we set up camp while her Dad and mom launched the boat. There was one tent, but it looked small for all of us, and Anna put her parents' gear and Sam's duffel in there.  I must have looked confused, because Anna finally said "we'll just set up a tarp and our foam rolls in one of the clearings.  That way we can look at the stars. It's way more fun."  There was a lot of manzanita and brush, so there were little clearings, and we set up a distance away in one of them. 

While we were doing that, I heard a motor-and a pickup pulled up to our spot and parked.  I looked to see what was going on.  Anna said "oh, it's Josh.  He said he'd be up later."  I hadn't even thought about whether he was coming.  When we walked toward the truck, he got out- and that's when it hit me.  I still remember the feeling to this day.  He was beautiful.  He was tall, and tanned, and muscular. He had short dark hair and a grin.  I felt butterflies in my stomach, and my knees went week. It was as though my eyes had been opened for the first time to a guy.  And not just a guy- a spectacular guy.  He said "hi" to us, and gave me a curious look.  I thought I was going to die.  I could feel my face reddening. I think Anna realized it before I did- he didn't recognize me- no longer the fat girl, taller, no braces anymore, no more glasses, and my hair in a ponytail.  So she said- "hey, you remember Danielle! She's here with us this week."  Josh looked surprised.  "Wait. You're Danielle?" I couldn't get a word out. I just nodded and looked down. He looked shocked.  

That afternoon we were supposed to go out in the boat to go waterskiing. Anna's mom wasn't going.  I had gone out with Anna and her family before-but never Josh. As we walked down to the dock, I noticed their swimwear for the first time.  All the guys had OP boardshorts. Anna had a cute two-piece.  I realized I was wearing a black one-piece racing swimsuit that covered me from neck to thigh, and smashed me into a formless blob. Combined with the oversized knock-off Dolfin shorts, and my pale white arms and legs, I thought I must look like a penguin. Once we got to the middle of the lake, Anna's dad asked if I wanted to go first.  Not a chance in hell was I going to take off my shorts and get into the water in front of Josh.  "No, I'm okay.  I'll just watch today." I cringed.  I sounded so dumb. So Anna's dad asked Josh if he wanted to go.  Josh said "sure" and stood up. In one swift motion he peeled off his tee-shirt.  I almost gasped. As he stood there, examining ski jackets to find the right one, I tried desperately not to stare.  He seemed so tall, and had muscles everywhere. He had some hair on his chest, and flat stomach.  As he turned and looked backwards off the back of the boat, I thought to myself "he's shaped like a V!" For a moment, i pictured myself feeling his back, running my hands over those muscles. A strange sensation caught my attention between my legs. It was kind of a tingling sensation, a fluttery feeling like I was swelling up down there.  I clenched my legs together, which definitely didn't help. It was like I needed something to happen down there-but I had no idea what.  I looked over the side of the boat at the shoreline, and tried to think of the difference in techniques between a field hockey push pass and scoop pass.  But I wanted to look at him so badly.  I didn't, but the next thing I knew, he yelled "hit it," and we were off.  I turned and looked backwards over the boat. He was holding the rope, skiing on one ski, zooming from one side of the wake to another, throwing up huge sprays of water.  I couldn't take my eyes off him, watching his arms strain pulling the rope handle, throwing his back into an arch as he cot sideways toward the wake. it was amazing. 

That night we had a campfire.  He asked me a few questions while we all sat around, and I'm sure I sounded like an idiot.  The next day was a blur. We went hiking, I kept ending up near him.  We had lunch; somehow I sat between him and Anna. He was inches away and my heart was dancing.  That afternoon, Anna asked if I wanted to swim out to a dock and lay in the sun.  I pulled my swimsuit off the line and looked at it.  I hated it.  I imagined Josh and me sitting in the boat, me in a cute little two piece.  Not this nun's habit. Maybe I could get him to look at me the way I was looking at him.  But I had an idea, so I went to Anna.  "Hey, if we're going to lay out, do you have an extra swimsuit?" She looked at me, confused.  "All I have is my one piece. It's not that comfortable, and it's no good if I want to tan."  I had never tanned in my life.  I didn't even know if I was capable of tanning.  It turns out I was not.  "Sure" Anna said "just one sec."   She rummaged through her bag and gave me what seemed like a bra and panties. "It'll work, but I forgot the pads." 

"Pads?"  I wasn't sure what she meant. 

"You know, pads.  So people don't see your nips if you get cold."  I blushed.  Honestly, I'd had no idea why bras had pads. I thought they were to keep my boobs warm. 

"Oh. Okay." I'd never really been in a situation where I had to worry about my nipples before. They weren't huge.  So I walked over to the camp ground shower house to change. It was empty. I pulled down my shorts and panties and pulled on the bikini bottoms.  They were an emerald green, and much higher cut than my swimsuit. I pulled off my t-shirt and bra, and looked at myself in the crappy metal mirror. I didn't look terrible.  I remember turning and cupping one of my boobs, looking in the mirror.  Would Josh think I looked good?  I was a solid B-cup. I pulled on the bikini top.  I stared in the mirror. I looked completely different. I had a waist, and boobs, and a butt.  I wasn't a squashed blob. 

20 minutes later, Anna and I were out on the dock, talking about nothing in particular. I was lying on my stomach, enjoying the warm sun. All of a sudden, i noticed Josh and Sam had swam up to where we were. Josh put both his forearms on the deck, facing us, and started talking. I raised my upper body and head, facing him, resting on my elbows, just listening. I noticed his eyes flick toward to my chest a few times.  I finally looked down, and almost startled.  I was looking at two very prominent boobs hanging down, straining against the emerald green fabric of a very small bikini top.  I flushed, half with embarrassment, and half with a fluttery sense of pride that I'd been noticed.  I wasn't sure what to think.  I wondered if he liked what he saw.  I decided to check.

I rolled onto my side, then sat up, legs stretched out, one knee raised.my upper body turned toward him while I leaned back, using my outstretched arm. I was acutely aware that I was probably showing more skin than I ever had before. Josh kept glancing at me. It gave me a rush.  I could feel an odd full sensation in my groin- a swelling, warm feeling.  I also became aware my nipples were rock hard, even though it wasn't cold at all. I glanced down and was shocked to see both nipples clearly jutting against the fabric. I almost reached my right arm across to cover them-but didn't.  I noticed Josh repeatedly looking over, trying to carry on a conversation while my erect nipples clearly were catching his attention.  Anna had a hat over her face.  She didn't see a thing.  Eventually Sam wanted to snorkel around, so both of them swam away.  I collapsed on the dock on my stomach again, watching them. 

After about 10 minutes, Sam was back on shore.  Josh started swimming back toward the dock.  As he reached it, I sat up, watching him pull himself onto the dock. It was all shoulder and arm muscles, then chest as he leveraged himself up.  Then it was my turn to deal with stuff in my field of vision.  As he stood up, he was wearing white and tan OP boardshorts.  i could clearly see the outline of part of his penis under the wet, clinging fabric.  I was fascinated.  I'd seen my father's once or twice accidentally when I was younger, but paid it no attention. This was different.  It was attached to a real, live, gorgeous boy.  I started wondering about it. I knew boys' penises got "hard," whatever that meant.  I assumed that they stuck straight out.  And that sperm came out to make babies.  The details of how that actually worked, I had no idea.  I assumed it was like peeing. But as he walked up the dock, I was mesmerized.  What did it feel like? I imagined myself touching it, holding it.  In a rush, I had a vision of Josh kissing me, hugging me.  I could feel my chest flush, and I looked down.  I had a huge red blotch appearing up by my collar bone and neck.  My nipples were again erect, and I could feel the strangest sensation between my legs.  It was swelling sensation, with an itch that wasn't an itch. Which-based on my prior experience with the gym rope, worried me.  While I wanted Josh to notice me, to look at me, I didn't want to have a big, dark, wet blotch soaking through the bikini bottoms.  So I did the only thing I could think of while my body went crazy.  I did a shallow dive into the lake.  Anna asked what I was doing.  "I wanted to cool off" I said, smug in my decision.  

Which I shouldn't have been.  Yes, when I got out, the bikini bottoms were wet, so anything was concealed. The red flush was gone, and the cool water had momentarily settled me down.  But as I pulled myself out of the water on to the deck, I noticed a new issue when I looked down.  Getting the bikini top wet, without pads, had made it slightly translucent. Now, not only were my nipples erect because of the cold, but the puckered skin of each areola was clearly visible under the clinging wet suit! I was mortified.  But when I glanced up at Josh, he was obviously transfixed. My heart racing, i walked over toward where he was now sitting, standing a few feet away while he looked up at me.  I slowly bent over to get my towel, my knees shaking. I picked up the towel, and slowly began drying my back and shoulders.  Then, bending all the way forward at the waist while facing him, I began wrapping the towel around my head.  In reality, it gave me a perfect position to get a closer look at Josh's crotch.  I could have sworn his penis was pushing against the fabric.  But it could have been my imagination.  I said i was going back to camp.  A short time later, we were all there. 

Which is when Anna pointed out I had sunburned my back and shoulders.  I had some aloe in my bag and retrieved it.  When I came back to the picnic area (still in the bikini top, but now wearing shorts), Anna had gone to the shower house.  I stood there for a moment with the container of aloe in my hand.  I finally looked at Josh, who was sitting on the picnic table, and asked him "could you put this on my back?"  He shrugged.  I sat down on the picnic table bench with my back to him, my lower back and hips touched by his calves and ankles. He started to apply the aloe, rubbing it into my back and shoulders. I could feel the coolness of the aloe, and the warmth of his hands.  I was in heaven.  It was all I could do not to lean my entire back against him.  I kept having a vision of standing, turning around and hugging him, rubbing my body against him and kissing him. I could feel myself biting my lip as feelings flooded my entire body.  Eventually he stopped, and I stood up. I started walking directly toward my bag in the little clearing, saying "thanks" over my shoulder as I walked away.  I was a wreck, desperately trying to keep my voice and breathing normal.  I changed into normal clothes. 

That night I had a dream.  I don't remember all of it. In the dream, Josh was hugging and kissing me while he applied the aloe, kissing the back and sides of my neck.  I don't remember exactly what happened in the dream, but i remember jolting awake in the dark.  My entire body was alive. I could feel a sense of almost-intense pressure in my pussy, and my nipples were hard.  I remember reaching up and lightly brushing an erect nipple. Unlike almost every time I'd ever touched them before-when they were erect from being cold and even brushing against them hurt, this time it was a jolt.  It was as through there was an electrical connection between my hard nipples and my pussy. I gasped and pulled my hand away.  I surreptitiously slid my hand down to see what was going on with my pussy. I was wearing loose-fitting flannel pajama shorts, and was stunned to find my pussy lips and even some of my pubic hair soaked. I pulled my hand back up, and rubbed my fingers together. It was slippery, with a faint musky scent.  I reached out and grabbed a t-shirt from the small laundry bag next to me.  I quickly blotted my crotch under the pajamas, hoping I didn't wake Anna up, then shoved the t-shirt back in the laundry bag.  As I was laying there, my pussy actually hurt. It was like after a bad muscle cramp, a pressure-filled ache. 

The next two days flew by.  We went out on the boat, hiked some more, and swam.  Any time I could find a moment to be around Josh, I seized it.  We talked about books, movies, and sports. On one more occasion, I walked up and asked if he could put aloe on my sunburn.  But Anna's mom was standing nearby and said "oh, I'll take care of that for you" and reached for the bottle.  I felt like she knifed me.  Which brought us to the last night.  After campfire, I took a quick shower (I hated smelling like smoke).  Anna and I went to our clearing and got into our sleeping bags.  We were talking for a long time, when she finally stopped responding. I knew she was asleep. As i lay there, I recounted how I felt each time I was around Josh.  I could feel that urgency between my legs, the butterflies in my stomach.  And I realized that everyone around me was asleep.  I also knew that a short distance away, just behind a bush, Josh was in his sleeping bag.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized I could just go over and talk to him, and hang out. No one would interrupt us. Maybe he'd hug me.  Maybe he'd kiss me. In my mind's eye, I could picture him slowly lifting my pajama top over my head, leaning in to kiss my neck.  I shivered, and shook my head.  I was only going to talk to him. His parents and Sam were in the tent, and Anna was asleep. 

I slowly inched the sleeping bag zipper down, listening for a sound from Anna- nothing. Eventually I got to the point where I could swing my bare legs out, and I carefully stood up.  I silently made my way in the moonlight to where Josh had laid out his sleeping bag. I could see his head.  I slowly made my way over, then sat down beside him.  

"Hey" I said.  He opened his eyes.  

"Hey.  What are you doing here?" 

"Nothing." I realized how dumb I sounded. "I couldn't sleep." 

"Oh" he said, raising his upper body up, resting on his elbows and forearms. He looked at me. I suddenly realized his face was only a foot or so away from me.  I was abruptly aware of how little I was wearing-loose flannel pajama shorts and a top.  As i turned toward him, I could feel the cool air rushing in through the gaping leg.  I thought for a moment that if it was daylight, anyone looking my direction would have completely been able to see my pussy.  The hem of the top had swung out, both at the neckline and waiist, leaving me feeling as though i was naked.  I could feel my nipples tighten.  I looked at Josh and couldn't stand it for a minute.  I quickly swung my face toward him and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.  For a moment he was motionless, and I thought I had just made the world's biggest mistake. 

Then he was kissing me back.  I felt his tongue lightly brush my lip.  He had a held on the back of him head, intertwining in my hair.  I was in heaven. I melted inside. I felt my pussy begin to throb and seemingly tighten.  I don't know how long we kissed; it could have been 10 seconds. It could have been a few minutes. I started to try and slide sideways, sliding onto my side on the ground pad next to him when he abruptly pulled away.  "No. we can't do this.  You need to go back to bed."  I tried to kiss him again, but he shook his head.  "This would be huge trouble if anyone found out.  Please go back to bed." He had both hands gently, but firmly, on my shoulders.  

"Can I just stay a few minutes?" I wanted to kiss him again so badly. 

"No.  We can't.  We can't do this.  Anyone could wake up. Please."  

"Okay."  I stood up.  "Good night."  And I went back to my sleeping bag.  

The next day was different.  Josh was really quiet.  I was giddy, but didn't dare show it. After the long day of hanging out at the lake (and me working the emerald-green bikini as best I could), and waterskiing, it was starting to get dark.  Josh had packed his truck.  Anna's family had loaded up their boat, and we had all packed.  It was time to go. I needed to get home.  Josh had to leave for Texas first thing in the morning.  Except the boat trailer had a flat tire, and it had some kind of lock thing on a wheel bolt.  Anna's dad was mad, because they'd forgotten the key to it and it was in their garage. So they couldn't get the wheel off to install the spare.  Finally, he said that Josh should drive home and bring it back. And he said Josh should probably give me a ride home, since it would be so late.   

I didn't want to seem eager.  I went and got my bag. Then I said I had to go to the bathroom.  I went into a stall. I don't know what I was thinking-but I pulled off my shorts, took off my underwear, put my shorts back on, and shoved my underwear into a crumpled ball in my bag. A few moments later, I had thanked everyone, hugged Anna goodbye "see you tomorrow?" I tossed my bag into the bed of Josh's truck, and climbed into the pickup cab, sitting on one end of the long bench seat. 

The first 10 minutes or so we rode in almost silence. I opened a box of cassette tapes and pulled it out. "We should listen to this" I said.  It was REO Speedwagon.  But in no time, we were talking and laughing. He kept doing movie lines and imitations.  I was able to do an imitation of Mickey Mouse, so I'd say the line back to him like Mickey.  We were dying laughing.  A few cassette tapes later and we were in my driveway-which went back beside my house.  My house was dark.  I'd forgotten it was Bingo Night.  My parents wouldn't be home for another hour. 

He shut off the truck, and looked at me with a smile.  "I really liked getting to know you. You're a lot of fun to around" he said. I blushed.  

"I had fun too.  Thanks for the ski lessons." He smiled again. He turned sideways, his arm outstretched along the top of the seat, his back against the door.  The truck was parked beside our house, blocked from the neighbors' view by a hedge. My heart beat faster. 

"We should get you inside" he said "your parents will probably think you're going to hell if they walk out and see me with you here alone."  I giggled.   

"Pretty sure I'd never get to go outside again in my life ever again.  I'll die a little old lady locked in the basement here." It was his turn to laugh. While he was still grinning, I moved toward him.  I was practically crawling toward him on that seat. He looked at me, with a serious expression, and started to open his mouth to say something.  I guess the best way to describe what happened next was that I pounced.  I was half on top of him, kissing him, my mouth open, feeling his lips with my tongue, feeling his mouth open slightly.  And then he was kissing me back.  Not reluctant or half-hearted kisses.  He was cradling the back of my head in his left hand, his fingers coursing through my hair.  His other hand was on the small of my back, slowly moving up and down. 

How long we kissed, I had no idea.  His right hand moved to my lower ribcage.  I knew what I wanted.  I wanted him to run those hands over my body.  With my left hand, I reached the clasp on my bra (it was in front- very popular back then!). I undid the clasp and felt my boobs fall free while I kissed him harder. I felt him run his hand up the side of my ribs, his palm lightly brushing the side of my boob.  That wasn't what I wanted!  I reached back with my left hand and caught his wrist. Then I guided his hand straight to my left boob, pressing against my hard nipple so there wouldn't be any mistake about what I was doing. Yet he slid his hand down my chest a few inches so the bottom of my boob was resting against the "v" formed by his thumb and forefinger.  What was he doing??? 

A moment later, he did the same thing with his left hand, still kissing me.  Then he slid both his hands up, gently caressing and slightly lifting both boobs at the same time. As he did that, he brought each thumb in toward the forefinger, lightly squeezing each rock-hard nipple, with an ever-so-slight pull.  It was like someone electrified my entire body!  I could feel a pressure in my pussy, a hot, electric feel.  I swore i could lightly smell the same musky odor from me as the night I woke up sopping between my legs.  We kept kissing, while he kept caressing my boobs.  I was in heaven.   

He then moved his right hand down my back, gently gliding under my sorts and began gently feeling my ass cheek.  His left hand never left my boob, lightly squeezing and pulling my nipple.  My body quivered.  Suddenly, his right hand on my ass moved sideways, then down toward my upper thigh until I'm sure his fingers popped out the leg hole on my shorts. He pulled his face away, grinning.  "You lose something?" I looked him right in the eyes.   

"Do you mind?"  He shook his head. Emboldened, I started kissing his neck, running my hand over the outside of his t-shirt, feeling his chest muscle. I had no idea what I was doing, but I just wanted to touch him. I was straddling his leg, one knee on either side, leaning over him still.  I felt his right hand move across my butt, right where in met my thigh, cradling me from the side. 

Then it happened.  I felt a light fingertip brush down my pussy lips, sliding along.  I almost lost it, and pushed back toward his hand.  I felt his finger slip slightly inside, as he rotated his hand over the top of my butt, the finger-or fingers-now pressing the length of my pussy lips, one or more fingers slowly-and almost softly-working their way slightly into my pussy.  It felt electric.  I could feel how wet i was by how easily he slid two fingers in,, gently massaging me from the inside.  I was even having trouble breathing.  It felt so good.  I didn't want him to stop.  But I couldn't really move, it was awkward.  But I wanted him to keep exploring between my legs.  Then I had an inspiration. I reached back, and pulled his hand to the side, and up toward my hip.  For a moment, he probably thought we were done. 

But I wasn't done.  I grabbed his hand, moved it around under me so it was flat on my belly, then pushed it down toward my crotch.  I felt his fingers slide through my pubic hair, then he spread his index and ring fingers apart, still sliding down with gentle pressure, so that each finger rested on a pussy lip.  Then he began sliding them up and down, squeezing them together with a light pressure near the top.  I thought part of me was on fire.  He had taught me where my clit was!  It was amazing.  I could feel his fingers, lubricated by my own juices, sliding over my clit, my pussy lips, and ever so often slipping gently inside, lightly keeping pressure around my clit while this went on. 

Looking back, I would have let him do whatever he wanted.  I was half-dressed, rocking and thrusting my pelvis to meet his sliding hand.  He kept caressing my right nipple, kissing me, kissing my neck, while my breath was ragged.  He could have totally fucked me right there, and I would have happily gone along with it.  At one point, as he kept working on my pussy, I may have started to reach toward his dick.  I had brushed a forearm against it a few times-it was rock hard.  I had no idea what I was going to do with it, but I wanted to, had to, do something with it.  I felt his free hand gently stop my hand and move it away.  I tried it again.  He stopped me again.  "We can't do that" he whispered to me.  

After a few more minutes, I realized a new sensation was building between legs, but inside of me.  It was like a wave, and I gasped, breathing hard.  Josh kept gently stroking me as my hips began to buck. What's causing that? But I just wanted to keep going.  Then it hit me.  I felt a pulsing, from deep inside, all the way it seemed to my butthole.  I felt my whole body jerk a few times with contractions as a wave swept over me.  I couldn't think, just letting out a long moan as I collapsed on Josh. 

And that's how I learned about an orgasm. 

We sat there kissing a while longer as I collected my thoughts and my pulse returned to normal.  I looked at Josh and he smiled at me. 

"That was amazing.  It almost made camping with you worthwhile" I said, smiling.  I was feeling self-conscious.  So many new experiences, sitting in my parents’ driveway, my bra unsnapped, no underwear, the sensations from my pussy causing a cascade of thoughts. 

"Well, I think it was your Mickey imitations that made it okay."  He leaned over, held my chin in his right hand, and kissed me.  Once on the mouth. Once on the forehead.  "You should get inside before your parents get home." I nodded. I didn't want to go.  I didn't want him to go.  "Danlelle- you're amazing. But you know we can't tell anyone about this, or we'd get in big trouble."  He looked dejected.   

"Josh.  I won't say a thing.  You can count on me."  I meant it. And with that, I got out of the truck, grabbed my bag, and went into the house.  I watched as his truck backed out of the driveway, and drove off. 

There's more to my story.  But that's for another day. I don’t even know if people would like this one, it’s so long.