Anal Play During Masturbation

Sometimes I crave anal gratification. My ass glows and I feel, well, like a bitch who needs to be fucked, wanting to have my ass opened up and plundered. If my wife is away from home, the coast is clear for a wild time alone. I pull back the covers of the bed, and look at photos, erotic art, and pornographic videos on the computer. I may set the mood with music on the stereo, candles, and marijuana—it is especially fun to make love to myself when I am high. Then I get out the toys, which I keep in a cloth zipper bag hanging in the closet, occasionally leaving one or two in a dresser drawer for quicker access. A washcloth is handy for the inevitable aftermath, and a bath towel draped on the bed to catch any fluids. I also set out a tube of lubricant jelly. 

Once the bedroom is ready, I strip and head to the bathroom, where I give myself several enemas. I use an enema bulb that I keep handy. Usually two or three times injecting and evacuating is enough to clean out my rectum.   I do not want the water to go too deep. It is only necessary to empty the end of the intestinal tract. 

In past years, up until about age forty, I would take more extensive measures, sequestering myself in the bathroom with a hot water bottle and tubing to give myself a deep colonic rinse. That involved filling the rubber bag to the stretching point with warm water and hanging it on the shower curtain rod. Then I lubricated my anus and slid the syringe inside, bending over and  spreading my legs to take the water more easily. The first time, I injected just enough water to wash out the rectum. After evacuating, I would take a second injection. The third time I took more, to the point of cramping. I sometimes repeated the process several times, increasing the volume with every repetition. Once I released the final stream my rectum and sphincter were very relaxed, like a mouth opening back there, soft and yielding. Afterward, taking a shower with the hot water directed at my lower back and bottom, I would insert a butt plug, which keep in until I was ready to masturbate. 

I have pretty much abandoned giving myself colonics, which aren’t necessary for anal play and really overdo it. I still have the hot water bottle and tubing, though, so it’s always possible that one day I’ll get out the equipment to engage in that particular masturbatory play, that “perversion,” if you will.

My collection of sex toys currently includes:

1) A medium-sized flesh-colored butt plug, the first sex toy I ever bought.

2) A double-ended jelly dildo, the Eve’s Ecstasy Double Pleaser Dong, with a semi-realistic cock at each end. One is long and slim (6 ½ inches long and 1 inch in diameter) the other short and fat (about 4 ½ inches long and 1 inch in diameter. This dildo, which is translucent and red in color, replaces an identical one that I had for over twenty years, during which time it saw a lot of use.

3) Another double dong, with similar dimensions, made of softer material and featuring an internal vibrator.

4) A G-spot vibrator, about 3/4 inch in diameter and 7 inches long. It is made of hard, purple plastic, with speed control on the base and a curved tip that is blunt enough not to poke.

5) A prostate massager, the Tantus Glide, purple with a curved part that rubs against the prostate, and a metal ball on the outside that rolls against the perineum.

I have owned other toys, experimenting with them and eventually discarding them. One was a rectal expander, like a small flesh-colored balloon at the end of a flexible shaft, connected at the other end to a bulb that you pump to fill the balloon with air. It had a valve to release the air. I got a little crazy with that sometimes, inflating it to the point where it was unbearable, making me moan in desperate discomfort. I don’t know why I liked that. It was fun in a weird way. 

Sometimes I use the butt plug in the shower to relieve stress, without reaching orgasm. Anal masturbation often begins that way. The G-spot vibrator is the best for prostate stimulation. It is hard but goes in comfortably and the curved tip strokes the prostate if I hold it right. I get on all fours and set the vibrations on high and stroke my prostate until it feels like the semen isabout to flow. I would like to “milk” myself, extracting the semen without an orgasm, but the urge to play with my cock is too strong.

About an inch in diameter is the most comfortable thickness for me. If the point in getting the toy is to open my ass up and stretch and relax me to the point that my anus gapes, it ought to be smaller to begin with. The double-ended dildo is particularly good in that respect. The narrow end enters easily enough, and the shaft is just big enough to make me feel full and well-fucked. Inserting the thick end requires a lot of preparation, with fingers and toys, to relax the muscles and open me up. I push and pull the thick end more gently, switching back to the slender end for more vigorous action. If I go on that long enough, my anus starts to gape, which I like to see.

I have made videos of myself using anal toys, with my ass to the camera, showing the toy sliding in and out. Watching these videos serves as foreplay for another session of butt-fucking. The following is a verbatim transcription from one video: “I’m a straight guy, but I like being fucked up the ass. And if my girl’s not here, I have to do it myself. Ah yeah, with a finger . . . then a buttplug. Oh yeah, I like that. Or a dildo! Oh yeah! Look at that! Look at that! Ah fuck! Look at that! Right up the fucking ass! Look at my asshole gape! Fuck!” I slap my right buttock and the video stops.

Another video has me going on like this: “It took me a while, but now I can fit the fat end of the dildo up my ass. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Look at that! Uhhhh! Oh God! Am I ever fucked! Am I ever fucked! Oh yeah! Look at that! Look at that! Look at that! Am I gaping or what? Oh, it’s so good!” I love dirty talk like that whether or not I’m recording my debauchery. Sometimes instead of talking to myself, I address an imaginary woman, begging her to “fuck my horny ass” or to “fuck me like the bitch I am!” It’s fantastic.

As a side note, I want to record what happened when I replaced my favorite dildo, the red jelly double dong. It was hard to find another. The model was sold in adult stores in the late eighties and early nineties, and couldn’t be found on the internet. I wrote on a social media site describing it in detail and asking for information. Sure enough, a few months later someone replied with a web address where I could order the item. I was so happy at this turn of events. That happiness, though, was nothing like my joy when the dildo arrived in the mail. My wife was away so I opened the plain brown-wrapped package as quickly as I could. 

When I pulled the dildo from its molded clear plastic packaging I reacted in a spontaneous and unexpected way. I pretty much squealed in pleasure, breaking into a girlish happy dance with my feet shuffling, elbows bent close to my torso and my hands at my chest, gently clenched and shaking. It was quite involuntary, how happiness overtook me. I have to use the word: I felt like afaggot. If my cavorting had been witnessed by bigots or gay men I know who use that word between themselves, that’s what they would have called me, cruelly in the first case and humorously in the second. I shouted happy words, though, as I pranced—no, minced around—shaking my ass and imagining my new dildo sliding up inside my anus. I felt queer, and it was a good feeling, however brief and silly. Perhaps I am a straight queer, or a queer straight. I suppose labels are unnecessary. A lot of young people today are rejecting binaries of sex and gender, and I can learn from them.