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Ahead Of The Times! The Original Grapefruit Blow Job (Fun With Fruit #1)

Posted by: Age: 60 Posted on: 6 comments
6 likes 11 views Category: Masturbation Male Solo Tags: Male Masturbation, Homemade Toy, Fruit

Some of you may remember a few years ago there was sort of a thing about the "grapefruit blow job" like it was this earth shattering avant garde new sex technique. You'd (well your girlfriend!) would take a grapefruit cut a hole through it, and would use it like a short stroker on your penis during oral sex instead of just using her hand. You'd get extra stimulation and she'd get a better tasting penis. Win-win!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


OK, maybe it wasn't a big thing but I did see an internet article or two about it on one or two of those kinda sites. Now I'd led a pretty sheltered life when it came to odd sex practices back when I was a single guy, didn't find much need to concern myself with such things once I got married and still don't understand all this stuff that people were and are into. But I had been wasting time one day and came across this and was like "this is news and/or kinky or weird?" 

 

I mean, what was the big deal? Hadn't every guy shoved his penis through a grapefruit before? 

 

 

It was a long time ago (but not long enough that I could claim I was just a horny teenager) when I had my penis inside a grapefruit for the first time, and while I don't remember the particular situation or thought process that had brought me there that morning, it must have been a weekend, sometime in my early 20s, and I was in the kitchen in my apartment cutting a hole through a large grapefruit. Then I was in my bedroom stripping off my clothes and climbing on my bed (on which I'd put a bath towel, so I guess I had sorta planned this out at least so far as not making a mess - which turned to have been a good call) to "do it" with the tight, slippery wet hole I'd made.  

 

 

Apparently, though, just what it was I was going to do was a concept I must not have been too clear on at the time because the only coherent memory of the event after this point that I still have starts just before the final moments and indicates that I was determined to actually "fuck" it.  

 

 

But, one does not simply "fuck" a grapefruit.  I mean, they just aren't that durable. 

 

 

I don't remember what must have been most of my masturbation session at all. I do remember looking down as I was working it there in my lap at the moment the head of my penis punched through the side of the fruit and probably realizing that my enthusiasm might have been taking more of a toll on my improvised toy than I had intended, quickly rolling over on my belly, holding it beneath me and eagerly thrusting into it (perhaps what had been my intent all along, wondering if this was something like what sex - which I had not yet experienced - felt like) and it must have worked for a bit and felt pretty good because the next thing I remember when it completely fell apart there under my pumping hips, is me rolling over onto my back, covered with and now laying in bits of pulp, juice and rind of the devastated grapefruit, quite disappointed, and feeling a bit foolish, bringing myself through the final twenty or thirty seconds to my orgasm the old-fashioned way. 

 

 

So, my first (and only) actual grapefruit fuck was pretty much a fail. A couple of subsequent attempts, and revisiting the technique once or twice in later life proved that a grapefruit can make a pleasant stroking toy, if you make the hole all the way through, of sufficient snugness and work it up and down on yourself gently. It's soft and wet and slippery and feels good wrapped around my erection and it's made me cum every time but it's messy and a bit silly and just has never been that mind-blowing, honestly. 

 

 

Maybe the point isn't so much you need the grapefruit to make the blowjob better, but you need the blowjob to make doing the grapefruit better.

 

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