A Youthful Adventure With an Older Guy

English is not my native language and I fall short in finding the right words for this, but he was kind of an older brother for me.   A guy about 9 years older than me and I was a little over 18.  I needed someone that I could trust, who was patient and who could give me the time to learn about guy things.  I experimented with boys of my own age but the ones I met only cared about themselves and about getting a blowjob. I experimented with my girlfriends, we masturbated together and each other and they were different. They were patient and caring, they didn't mind when I closely studied all details of their intimate parts.  They didn't mind when I closely observed them when they were pleasing themselves. I needed a guy that could give me the same trust and who wasn't on top of me as soon as he was horny because he saw my pussy.   I found him, but it took a while before we became intimate.  His first interest was not sex, at least not with me.   We talked about all kind of things, art culture and music and serious environmental issues. In the conversations we had, he proved to be a good philosopher and debater  and I liked that.  Maybe it was the age difference between us, but I felt very comfortable when I was with him. I didn't fall in love with him, how could ?  He was too old for me, but I had what I would call warm feelings for him. As I said, it felt like he was the older wise brother that I never had.   I shared some very private things about my sexual doing with him several times and it was not him who started those.   He was a very good listener and gave me experienced advice.   I also told him about my experiences with boys, good and bad.  He explained why young boys are so selfish, hormones puberty and so on. When I read the above back, it sounds like a big long excuse why we,  after a while, got intimate.   I trusted him and I made him show me his cock.   A big mature cock, that I could see and hold and play with, without being afraid that he wanted more than I was interested in and ready for.   Oh maybe he wanted more, but he was very much in control of himself and the situation.   Of course I am sure that he wanted more!   Why else was he always hard and erect from the moment that I teased him about it. What we did was nice and lovely at the same time;  he gave me the time and the opportunity that I wanted.  But more important I felt very comfortable with him.  Yes,  I became horny and wet when I played with him but he didn't do anything with me that I didn't explicitly ask for.   The first time I was nervous but he comforted me and after some uneasy giggles I touched him and enjoyed the sight and feeling of a horny guy and his hard dick. The second time I felt much more at ease.  Although, maybe that's not the right word.   In anticipation of his visit (my parents would be gone until late and I invited him) I was wet and horny before he arrived. As soon as we were seated and chatted a bit, I told him that I liked what we did last time.   In fact I could hardly wait to see and hold his hard penis again;  the thought of it made me soaking in my panties.   He hesitated but probably couldn't resist the temptation of being played with and when he rested backwards I could see the bulge of his erection.   May I?   I didn't wait for his answer and he didn't resist when I opened his fly to give his dick the space it was fighting for.   Like last time, I touched him and hold him, but now also licked and kissed his big knob.  I moved his foreskin up and down and I could feel him throbbing in my hand. I pulled his pants and underpants down.   I wanted to see all of it.   How he stood up, the thick veins over his dick and his balls.   I looked at his beauty and I told him that I liked the sight of his hard dick.   He patiently waited for my next moves.   By now my clit was pulsing and throbbing and I felt the wetness of the hot juices in my panties.  I mumbled, I am horny, this makes me horny.   I tried to act childish, but my feelings were mature.   I can see that, he said, your panties are wet.   I was wearing a short skirt and my maneuvering had given him a good eye on my panties.   I again was nervous; I would love to masturbate but thought it would not be appropriate as we were friends not lovers. I guess my lust overtook my rational and I asked him; would you like to see me? I already sat over his legs on my knees.   He said  are you sure you want that?   Remember what we talked about? But we already passed that station.    I couldn't wait and pulled the side of my panties, showing him my aroused pussy with my hard engorged clit and  my lips swollen and separated.   I played my fingers around.   I pulled my skin back to show my red hot button.    A few more touches and I would cum. At the same time my mind was racing.   We shouldn't do this -  what am I doing, but lust was driving me.   I couldn't stop now and I didn't want to stop now.   I wanted him,   the guy I respected and that I adored for his mature wise words, but my desire to orgasm was to strong.    I shared my secrets with him and I also wanted to share this ultimate pleasure.    I closed my eyes and had one of the best orgasms I ever had.   I didn't  feel ashamed but relieved that I shared this deepest most private feeling with him. Some may think he used me but in my view I used him to explore my pleasures.