One for the intellectuals.....

[mushroomhead]

Okay, here is the scenario. I am 50. Never had a gay experience in my life. Always been bi-curious. Love to watch cumshots on video. Cumshots from a circumsiszed mushroom head dick like mine excite me. Hate the uncut look of extra skin, just grosses me out. Makes me wonder what diseases are forming under that skin. I mean, how many uncut dudes really take the time to wash under that grossness. Sorry if I offend, but uncut just grosses me out. Thats just the way I feel.

Now, with that in mind, my second thought, being bi-curious, has always been to suck a man's dick. I watch videos of cumshots, and when I see a circumsized beautiful mushroomhead type shooting a fantastic load, I just wish my mouth could be on that end of it.

Next, I am heavy, six foot with 38 inch waste, and 265 lbs, because of my beer gut. I am not of a sexual desire to most because of this, but I am who I am, and that really doesnt matter in this post, just a sort of info if anyone can find something intellectual about it.

Tonight, I am just thinking about this. I am drinking, and it is dinner time, but I aint really hungry. Could eat something, but all of a sudden, I thought that rather than eating something, maybe it would be nicer if I just sucked a man's cock, it would sufice. I am thinking that maybe the action of hands to mouth are more important that to what goes into my stomach. I have felt this for awhile now. What if my eating habits are something that masks what I would rather have? Would a steady diet of cock to mouth make me less likey to eat more and make me lose weight?

More and more, I have the urge to give a blowjob to a man, but I dont think I could ever approach someone to do this. And I think that my snacking in between meals could be a displacement for this thought. When I was working, I used to be at about 210-220 pounds, but since I retired about 10 years ago, I have ballooned to 265. I am wondering if I could get a partner to help me, one who would let me suck his dick on occasion, if that could help me with my bad eating habits of always snacking in between meals. I mean, I think that the action of hand to mouth several times is a replacement for actual hunger. The guy could be a lucky recipient, for I would want it several times a day, and I think that maybe it would be a great weight loss program for me, instead of the chocolate I always snack on.

I just dont know. But damn, I sure would like to give a blowjob at least once in my life. And I think that if I had a partner, that anytime I felt the need to have anything in my mouth, wether it be because of hunger or any other thought, that the blow job would cum first. I guess I am ashamed of what I have become( fat), and am looking for an alternative. And sucking a man's dick right now excites me much more than a cheeseburger and a beer.

Any thought's on this matter?

[spooger]

you sound like a suppressed gay man ... now wanting to come out and see what this is all about -

in other words, normal, even if a bit late in life -

but what is late - if you weren't ready before -

then this is now and do what pleases you without harming someone else

be careful! -- please! - don't let yourself be hurt while discovering this part of yourself

[yarbles]

I agree that you are likely using food as a replacement for your need to suck cock. But your problem may be deeper than that. I think you may be purposely making yourself unattractive so that you can talk yourself out of a meaningful relationship with another man. I find it sad that you seem to seek only a cock and not the rest of a man. I suggest you investigate joining some sort of gay social club. My community has a chess club, a running club, a volleyball club, a cooking club, and many others. Perhaps meeting men in a non-sexual context might make you more comfortable and give you motivation to cut back on eating. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being overweight, but there can be health consequences. Be good to yourself, and think about all your positive traits and the things you have accomplished in your life. I am sure other men would find you engaging if you just hold your head high and think, "I am what I am"!

[mash2014]

As all of us age, we reach a point where we no longer feel embarrassed by our sexuality. We are open to new experiences and new feelings. I remember how I was afraid of admitting that I was a daily masturbator, but now I don't care that people know I wank daily. But I've had sexual interactions with men. I've had oral with men, and I've felt attracted to men sexually; when I was young some men touched me and I very secretly enjoyed it; I've masturbated thinking of men. Having said all this I knew I wasn't gay or bi. Later on in life, I found a definition of how I felt sexually when it was with the same sex. And it is called HETEROFLEXIBLE.
I wouldn't worry too much that you are gay or not. How I see it, you want to explore other sides of your sexuality.
I'm including the explanation of heteroflexible. Read it and understand it.

HETEROFLEXABLE
You're mostly into the opposite gender, but you've been attracted to the same gender once or twice in the past.
You only seriously date people of the opposite gender, but you sometimes like to "have fun" with the same gender.
You're happy being straight, but you're curious about experimenting sexually or romantically with people of the same gender.
You're happy being straight, but you've tried being with someone of the same gender and enjoyed it.
You don't completely rule out being with someone who shares your gender, but you'd only do so in special circumstances.
The idea of never being with the same gender makes you feel like you'd be missing out on an important experience.
Or, conversely, being with the same gender is something you could take or leave—a recreational activity, not a necessity.
Terms like "bisexual" or "queer" don't feel like they fully capture who you are.