I wish I would have cheated on my ex wife

[readyfreddy]

My ex wife and my current wife are the only women I have ever had sex with. When I married my first wife, and through most of our marriage, I liked the idea of sharing all of my experiences with this one partner. And we had a good sex partnership for quite a few years. I never sought opportunities to be with anyone else, but then one time an opportunity presented itself. I was out of town for a couple weeks for work, which was a rare occurence. People from several locations of the company were helping to open a new location. We worked long hours, and a group of us would go out for drinks every night. One night, upon arriving at one of our usual spots, I noticed this chubby girl had tagged along. I didn't work directly with her, and didn't know which location she was from or if anyone in the group even knew her or invited her. She didn't say much, and I barely knew she was there the whole night. When the bar closed, I invited everyone back to my room to have a few more beers. When we finally decided to call it a night, I walked everyone out.

But when I closed the door and turned back around, I saw the girl sitting on my bed. I was relieved when she stood up, assuming she was leaving, be she was just taking off her zip up hoodie. She was wearing a tank top underneath that was a little too tight. I noticed for the first time that her curvy body was actually very sexy. She had big tits that the tank top could barely hold in. She had a cute belly, and her belly button was just barely peeking out from the bottom of her shirt. Her skin was flawless and looked perfectly soft and smooth. She sat back down on the bed. She smiled, biting her lower lip, and batted her eyelashes in a joking-but-not-really cutesy sort of way. She said it would be a shame to leave just a couple full beers. My first thought was that I could fuck this girl, and my wife would never know. But then I began this negotiation with my conscience and my libido to determine how much I was willing to get away with. Within a few seconds I talked myself down to blowjob, to just making out, to just touching her tits, to just getting a glimpse of tits, until my conscience ulitmately prevailed. I told her I had a big day tomorrow and maybe we'd save the beers for another time. She made a silly frowny face, held out her hand, and said, "OK, help me up." As I helped her up, one of her fingers tugged at my wedding ring a couple times. She looked at it and said, "Your wife must be really pretty." I said yeah, she is. She put her hoodie back on but struggled (or pretended to) with one of the arms. I held it for her, and her arm brushed against mine as it passed through. She continued the motion by hugging me and said, "Thanks for letting me tag along." I put every ounce of brain power I had into making a mental note of the feeling of her body pressed against mine. She smelled so good. I walked her out and said I'd see her tomorrow. But I didn't.

I immediately jerked off after she left, while her body, her hand, her scent, and the hug were all still fresh in my mind. One of the best solo orgasms I've ever had. I began running through all the what if scenarios in my mind and started talking myself into going through with it next time. I talked myself down again but realized that if we found ourselves alone again, there is a much greater chance I would say hell with it. I decided to avoid her the rest of my time there. A couple times she saw me from across a room and smiled and waved, but I just nodded in acknowledgment. I was terrified she would show up at one of our nights out, but she didn't. A week later, we all went home, and that was that. For the next few years, I patted myself on the back for having the strength and integrity to do the right thing. Then my marriage began to fall apart. I really don't think my wife ever physically cheated on me, but I did find out she had been seeking affection elsewhere. I'm certain that, at that point, if a similar opportunity had presented itself to her, she would go through with it. I was angry at her for so many reasons by the time we got divorced, but I was also mad at myself for giving all of myself to only her for so many years. I wished I had fucked that girl. As the depths of my wife's betrayal became more apparent, that girl was all I could think about. She came to symbolize my resentment. I told my current wife about that night, but just as a funny story, not about how badly I wanted this girl to do unspeakable things with my cock or how I still jerk off to that thought today. It's pathetic that I would congratulate myself for my "strength" in that situation. I wish I had been stronger and maybe gotten to know that girl, or at the very least her name. Maybe I wouldn't have had to be an asshole and blow her off. Maybe we could have reconnected years later. I wish she could have known how incredibly attracted I was to her. I just had an amazing orgasm thinking about her.