Mentally raring to go, but physically a no-go....ugh.

[blueeyedgent]

So, as I've said in another thread, it's been over 60 days since I last masturbated. For awhile, I just wanted to see how long I could last....then, life just got hectic and stressful and dampened my drive, but now....

...now, something feels off. My brain is racing with sexy ideas, and I've even done a little erotic e-mail exchange with others to help get them off....but me? I'm still at 60+ days, mainly because I just can't seem to move the motivation from my brain down into my shaft -- as in, I can't seem to get hard lately, no matter what. Porn, my erotic writing, knowing I'm getting someone else off....none of it has helped. I've enjoyed all of it, and like I said, I sometimes feel like my brain's on fire -- but it feels like my desire is stuck somewhere between my head and my nether-regions.

So, I guess I'm looking for suggestions, either on how to get my mojo for self-love flowing again....or the best way to enjoy myself even when I struggle to get excited.

Yes, I know....this is probably way too much TMI for some folks, but I figured if anybody would understand and lend a helping hand (figuratively....though, you know -- I wouldn't say no to literally, either! haha), it'd be this fine community.

Because as it is now, I feel a bit like something's come unplugged or a breaker has tripped, and I can't get things working again.

[mushroomhead]

.....life just got hectic and stressful.....

This is why you NEED to masturbate. First, try and get that thought into your mind, about the healthy need to masturbate and relieve stress.

Only other thing I can recommend is water. Wether it just be taking a bath, or a shower and letting the water hit your cock for awhile, or if you have access to a swimming pool or a jacuzzi, just stand against the jets on the wall of the pool or sit facing the jets in the jacuzzi, and let the water do the work. Water is an amazing stimulant. It is relaxing, it can be erotic when used with pressure, and it is best of all, wet.

[Mickyy]

There could be many reasons, physical as well as mental.

For example, testosterone has a huge impact on desire, and there could be any number of reasons why testosterone is low or not being produced. Blood pressure and some other things like stress can contribute to lack of desire as well.

Anxiety and many other mental factors can curb desire as well.

Having a community here that can understand and be supportive is a big step towards understanding as well as fixing the problem. We should all try to get more people involved in the forum not only to contribute ideas, but to maintain the community of like minds that can help each other with many other things too.

[blueeyedgent]

I really appreciate the support, y'all -- and knowing that this community would likely understand more than most others is why I decided to post here. I'm going to get an appointment with my doctor just to get a physical check-up that's a bit overdue, but I also know it could very much be mental, and that's why I decided to turn to my fellow lovers of self-love for insights and suggestions....

For instance, finding ways to enjoy myself even if I might not get fully hard. Honestly, the fact that I've been having difficulty getting it up gets me discouraged pretty quickly, and I just decide not to keep going, even though I'm sure I could really use the release at this point. If I had a partner, I could focus on making them feel good, which would make me feel good....but being single takes that option of spreading the love, so to speak, off the table. I think that's why I've really enjoyed the moments I've gotten to swap naughty text with others and collaborate on stories, because it makes me feel good to know I make them feel good. But of course, that doesn't solve the issue of my own long-overdue release and orgasm, the pursuit of which just feels more frustrating than anything.

I appreciate the support -- and the suggestions about water. Sadly, I haven't been able to slow down enough to really enjoy a nice, relaxing bath or even a little extended time in the shower. I'm sure that my wearing myself thin isn't helping the situation one bit!

Thanks for letting me be able to speak up and feel safe doing so. I know this is a pretty serious/non-playful post in a forum that's usually about fun and enjoyment, but like I said -- I knew if anybody would understand, it'd be y'all. That helps more than you know.

And, you know, in the meantime, if y'all have any suggestions or suggestiveness to share, feel free to drop me a PM as well.

Thanks again.

[blueeyedgent]

Well, I finally couldn't take it anymore and got myself off last night. I sat back in my comfy leather desk chair and watched a video of two young guys going at it.....

It was a perfectly functional orgasm....I went slow and found myself getting hard....well, hard enough.....and soon enough, I came....a lot.

But it wasn't satisfying. And almost immediately, I felt.....meh. As I've thought about it, I've come to the conclusion that part of why I've lost the desire to masturbate -- or even truly enjoy it -- is because I'm not pleasing someone else at the same time....hearing their moans, their whimpers. I think I need the feedback....the sensation. Not necessarily sex, or even in-person masturbation....but just knowing I'm thrilling someone else with my words.

[blackboxer500]

I don't know why you're experiencing this but my advice is to power through to orgasm as often as you can. When I was mid-40s I decided at one time that I was masturbating too much, too much as in it was affecting sex with my wife, making it too difficult to reach climax. I figured that the vigor of my own hand was the cause, since fucking could never reach the same level of intensity as masturbation. So I dramatically cut back on masturbation. I'm sure I was right about the effects such frequent self-gratification had on my sex life with my wife, but the cure was disastrous. I went from 7-10 orgasm per week to however many times we could find to make love. The problem was that the diminished frequency apparently sent a message to my brain and body that it didn't need to be doing all the magical things had always done to keep me in an semi-ready state at all times. So my desire started to diminish. By the time I realized what was going on, my biology had adjusted to the lower frequency of orgasm, and consequently my body stopped responding as I wished it to respond. It actually took much longer the get the desire and ability back than it took to lose it in the first place, and that led to much frustration. The only way I found to get it back was to return to masturbating as often as I could. So, realizing your physiology may be different, my own lesson taught me that not using it really does lead to losing it, and more quickly than you might suspect. I'll never make that mistake again.

[mash2014]

I couldn't go two weeks without masturbation. Heck, 5 days is the limit. Years ago because of a medical condition, I couldn't ejaculate for 15 days. When I was given clearance, first stop was the bathroom. I was so hirny that it took about three strokes and y’all know the feeling.

[mountain]

I tried many times to stop masturbating when I was young but never could stop it.
I used to think about sex daily, it is a part of my brain life so, I can't stop it. Now I am too eagle to do every day, but there is no possibility.