Masturbation in a loving relationship, right or wrong?

[george]

Several sexual commentators argue that it is not necessary to masturbate in a loving relationship, as one should get enough stimulus or sexual satisfaction from each partner?
Is it right or necessary for a person in a loving relationship to masturbate to images of other women/men?

[iluvgirls]

Several sexual commentators argue that it is not necessary to masturbate in a loving relationship, as one should get enough stimulus or sexual satisfaction from each partner?

I would argue that statement operates from a very big assumption that people in loving relationships actually do experience a satisfying level of sexual activity. I'm not sure what the typical circumstances are, but I can state from personal experience that some relationships don't even come close.

[mrhk85]

I find it very arousing to on occasion lay next to my GF naked & masturbate each other.

[kevincums]

I don't see it as a problem if both parties are satisfied with their sex life, masturbation is just another facet of your sexual release. While my girlfriend and I have a very active sex life there are times when we are apart or different circumstances mean we will masturbate instead. We both enjoy it and discuss it openly so I see it as a positive for our relationship.

[kentklements]

I think it's absolutely fine and normal.
In a loving relationship, you share yourself sexually with your partner and with masturbation, you share yourself with yourself. It's kinda like eating dinner...sometimes you want to enjoy dinner with a loved one and other times you just want to eat by yourself.

[thongsrule]

My wife's sex drive is not as high as mine. We both masturbate regularly, together or alone. She does it more often the she admits, I always see her vibrator moved around. I jerk off more than she knows to porn, but for me is more of a voyeuarstic approach, I don't imagine myself in it. Outside of masturbation my wife gives great head, handjobs and has a pussy as tight as when we first met. Knowing that makes it that much harder when she is not in the mood but she is fine with me blasting a load laying in bed next to her. Masturbation is a form sexual gratification, why would doing it would lead to a less loving relationship. Sharing and being open about it with your significant other is a sign of a stronger and closer relationship.

[UKGent]

Masturbation is a part of our relationship, and I would see it as normal. Both my wife and I masturbated before we met and we use masturbation as part of our sex lives.

We are both open that we masturbate, and I have masturbated for and with my wife. If she's not in the mood for full on sex or if it's that time of the month then she will often give me a handjob as it turns her on. More often than not a handjob will lead to sex, but not always.

I love to watch my wife masturbate and I know she loves to watch me. Sometimes I will play with myself if I can't get to sleep, or I wake up in the night and I don't want to disturb her, and I know she does the same.

It's perfectly healthy and should be encouraged as far as I'm concerned

[mrhandy]

My wife and I enjoyed masturbation together, and alone, throughout our marriage.
We were married long before the internet and I traveled alone many days of the year and we had phone sex almost every night(our phone bill was usually over $300 a month).
We also had identical sex tapes that we could watch together for stimulus. These tapes were mostly compilations of our favorite solo, mutual and bi, male and female masturbation scenes.

[Sunking]

I believe a good sexual relationship with your partner should include Masturbation - It is a part of a healthy sexual relationship - and it feels pretty damn good

[hairypalmblind]

This topic is very dear to my heart, as one of my stories attests to.

Here is a good read to get you thinking:

http://right2think.org/index.php/life-m ... sturbation

Curious what you think.

HPB

[masterbator2]

Ideally, masturbation should be a part of ALL loving relationships. We've been happily married for 44 years, and we "came out" to one another regarding masturbation during the first year. It was one of the smartest things we've ever done. We were both passionate masturbators before we ever met, and we had no desire or intention of abandoning our passion just because we could now have unlimited safe intercourse. Fuck no. Masturbation became an integral part of our overall sexual needs and desires. For decades, we have enjoyed solosex both privately and together. Sharing masturbation is perhaps one of the most (if not THE most) personal things you could do; showing your partner just how much (and technically how) you love yourself. I'm amazed at how so many couples prefer to keep their solosex "in the closet" or relate to it as something they do when they're not (or can not be) fucking each other.

[mmmniple]

why wrong? Enjoy oneself body is not a sin ( of course it is much better if it shared : mutual ,near other,...) but being in a relationship doesnt make you nonsexual being.
i am talking about auto-love , fantasy,....no more real people in the ecuation

[scottyhoney]

Masturbating is right, especially if ones sex drive is stronger than the other. There are 2 things I think are important when it comes to masturbating within marriage.
First is that she knows. I've read where a lot of guys hide their masturbation from their woman and when she finds out she feels betrayed. I feel much better when I am honest. I've been lucky in my relationships that the women I've been involved with liked that I masturbate.
Second is that I like having sex better than masturbating. I don't think I've ever turned her down for sex because I would rather masturbate and she knows it.

[oktostroke]

I think if the relationship is right then masturbation in the relationship will be just fine. As I've attested to in some other posts, my current partner and I both enjoy masturbation, both alone, and when we are together and we are open about it. She and I both masturbate regularly (like daily) in addition to having sex with each other. Some times when we are together, we are tired and just don't quite feel up to intercourse, but lying next to each other and masturbating feels really good. I LOVE watching her finger herself or do herself with a toy, and she enjoys watching me pump away and likes it when the cum flies. Now, if the masturbation is not mutually understood as a part of the relationship and one person is doing it while one isn't and it's secretive then that is probably not healthy and could portend problems. I do know that I can have some pretty awesome orgasms when I'm alone watching porn and stroking off but it's even better when shared, and I am lucky in that my girlfriend even watches porn sometimes and is not against porn per se like some women are.

[jimmyl55]

While my wife and I thoroughly enjoy intercourse, mutual masturbation has become a regular part of our sex life. At first, it was just me masturbating my wife to one or more orgasms before sex would begin. But now as I've grown older (we're both in our 60s and still very sexually active), I have started to develop what's known as "delayed ejaculation" which means it takes much longer for me to orgasm during intercourse. What happens is that my wife, who is very orgasmic (lucky her and me!) will cum numerous times and calls it quits before I can finish. So, I roll over on to my back and she gives me a nice handjob, including prostate massage.

She has become so good at it that I rely less on and less on solo masturbation and have come to really, really enjoy the handjobs she gives me. Sometimes I will jerk off while she plays with my balls, caresses my perinium and fingers my prostate. She will also give me oral from time to time. I really need the direct stimulation to finish, and once she and I figured that out, it has been really nice and pleasurable.

So masturbation is part of our relationship. It's definitely more enjoyable doing it mutually....

[hardwood53]

My wife and I have a happy, loving relationship. We do lots of things both together and separately. We go for walks together, but sometimes I take out our Jack Russells on my own. We eat together most of the time, but I frequently eat breakfast while she's still asleep. We watch TV together, but sometimes she watches it alone, while I read a book.
We treat masturbation exactly the same. We have sex together, both fucking and masturbating, but we both masturbate on our own quite often. We tell each other about it (which often leads to more sex).
We share porn, for example. Nothing is hidden. So to answer the original question, masturbation in a loving relationship is entirely right.

[varvara]

I do not know how to say. Personally for me this is an excellent extension of sex, as for my husband. What's bad about it? Excellent help, especially when we are separated. My husband often on business trips. So he always has a couple of my photos. He himself asks me about it. so what?

[maturebator]

My wife and I have ALWAYS masturbated (privately and together) since our very first year of marriage. For us, it was a no-brainer. We both enjoyed self-pleasure before we ever met one another, and saw no good reason to abandon that pleasure, just because we now had unlimited opportunity for intercourse and oral. We wanted it all. And we wanted the freedom and space to enjoy that. You see so much bullshit on the internet (much of it religiously-related, and I have nothing really against spirituality in general) and the rest of it has to do with people's self-image. There's a lot of women who feel that ALL sexual pleasure in a relationship should originate from between just the couple; as though anything "outside" of that is somehow "cheating." Again, BS. I never felt threatened by my wife's ability to enjoy explosive orgasms by her own hand or with a toy, and she never felt threatened by my masturbating to the images of other women. People with healthy sexual self-images don't usually have those kinds of issues.

[mushroomhead]

No one girl could ever satisfy me as much as porn does. Let me Splain, lol. I could have the foxiest, most best ever woman (unlikely) but even yet and still, there are so many cuties online on the free tube sites that I still want to see. And most of this comes down to the debate of masturbation vs sex. Ok, I think many will agree that actual sex is the best, but there are also many times, and probably more than the other, when you just want to watch something and run one off and all you have to do is please yerself, rather than to have to concentrate on the other and worry about having to please them. Dont get me wrong, I love the physical contact between a man and woman, and I can last longer than anyone, and that is due to my edging sessions by watching porn. But I have never, and I mean NEVER found a woman that wants to have a session for several hours. After more than an hour, they have orgasmed several times and they just want an end, while me, I havent orgasmed yet, just edging, and they beg me to end. I mean, as I am fucking them, if I feel I am about to come, I pull out and eat them fer awhile, and they cum while I relax, and then I go at it again, and I repeat this process, just like when I edge, but after more than an hour, they usually beg for an ending, as to where if I am edging, I can go on all night, and usually do. I just wish I could find a girl that wanted to go all night, because that seems to be rare if non-existent.

[Sean1969]

If the other spouse is cool with it, no problem! Ex wife , and new gf both get off together than actual sex in front of each other. It gets so damn hot and arousing!