I began to masturbate when I was a little girl. I can recall sitting on the sofa, watching cartoons in my nightgown while rubbing my vulva. I don't remember ever having a real orgasm, but I can remember that it felt good and I was always curious why that part of me got wet when I touched it. Today, I realize I am just wetter than average; I use panty liners most days to soak up my juices.
My mother noticed what I was doing and I stopped. She never said it was bad or dirty, just said I should not do that when other people could see, like picking your nose.
I went into puberty at 13 and learned the facts of life. The sex-ed class at my junior high was taught by a gym coach who was very pregnant at the time. She had a slide show with drawings of vaginas, including one with a penis inside. One of the other girls asked if it hurt when the man came inside you. The teacher blushed and told us it was the best feeing ever.
I had not touched myself for years and even after getting my period I never quite made the connection between making babies and the pleasure of sex. I knew it was there somewhere, but I did not understand the concept. I began to explore my body and I soon re-learned to touch my clit and to rub the opening of my vagina. It felt good but I did not orgasm yet. Instead of the sofa I did this at night in my bed, before falling asleep.
Everything changed when I was 15. Some friends and I went to a house party and played spin-the-bottle with some boys. This was a big deal in 1962. I ended up making out with a boy in the laundry room. At first we just kissed, but then he put his hand down between my legs and pressed hard against my pubic mound. I loved the sensation and pushed myself against him. He took my hand and shoved it into his jeans pocket and I could feel his hard penis. I rubbed against it for a moment and then he pulled away from me and I could see a stain forming in his crotch. He had come in his pants. He was frantic not to have anybody find out and he pulled his pants and underwear down and wiped himself up with some of the dirty clothes form the laundry hamper. This was the first time I saw a penis. I liked what I saw and remember that the first thought that went through my head was that I wanted one inside me. He promised not to tell if I did not. When we returned to the party he soon managed to spill a coke on himself to hide the stain.
I spent the next several months trying to figure out how to lose my virginity with no risk of getting pregnant.
That summer my aunt was getting married. My mother invited her friends over to our home for what turned out to be a slightly raunchy wedding shower. It was a big deal for my mom that I was allowed to be there. One of the gifts was a dildo. It was a 'life sized' rubber penis complete with balls covered with fake hair. When my aunt opened it, everybody laughed but me. I wanted it.
Later in the afternoon, when the party had moved to drinks; I slid the dildo under the easy chair my aunt had been sitting in. When we cleaned up after everybody left it was still there. That night, my mom and her sister went out for dinner and drinks leaving me alone in the house. My dad and brother had been banished on a fishing trip this weekend.
I retrieved the dildo and took it to my room. The package said 'not for internal use, novelty only' but I did not care. I wanted it inside me.
I sat on the edge of the bed and put the tip against the opening of my vagina. Frightened, I was scared to push it inside me but I did. Very slowly I slid it up inside me. The feeling was wonderful. I lay back on the bed with my legs open and above me with the dildo deep in me. I dreamt of being with a man as I ever so slowly stroked it in and out.
That night I must have come 5 or 6 times before my mom came home. I was still at it when I heard them come in the house.
I kept that dildo for years. It was my best friend through High School and into college. After a few years and spending countless hours stuffed into my vagina it started to fall apart as the rubber broke down.
By then I had started serious dating, had lost my virginity anyway and had better things to do. I was still sad when I finally threw it away.