When I was seventeen years old, I often babysat my cousin. He was a little over a year at that time. My aunt and uncle warned me about his masturbation, telling me that he seems to do it a lot and that I should just ignore it. I laughed at that remark right away, until I put him to bed in his crib the first time I babysat him. He was fifteen months old, and he lay on his stomach, placed his hands between his legs and rocked back and forth until he fell asleep. Then I remembered what his parents said about him.
But it felt wierd, every night that I babysat him, he did this whenever he was placed in his crib. I started to watch him. I noticed when he did this he got all sweaty, and his face would get red. I couldn't tell, but I think he had an erection too when he did this. And he worked up a storm doing it every night, you could hear his rocking down the hall and into the next room.
But it was enough, just hearing him made me get the urge to masturbate myself. And thinking of my baby cousin would trigger it. It made me wonder what it would be like to own a penis, and I wondered if all boys did this. Often when I was babysitting him, when I heard him rocking, I would go to the bathroom (just in case his parents came home), and I'd be fingering myself there, and rubbing myself. And I would be thinking of what my cousin was doing, and wonder if it was normal.
Then one day, I had another image of him come to me. I was changing his diaper, and he started masturbating on the changing table. His tiny penis got big and pointed straight up. I waited just a little to see what he would do. One of his tiny little hands grabbed it, and it looked like he was pulling his penis towards him and rubbing. I just watched. Then he started wiggling it and flinging it, and then flicking it. Not wanting to get caught watching him masturbate, or encouraging him to keep doing it, I moved his hands away and tried to put his new diaper on and get him dressed. He cried when I tried to do that and tell him to stop. Anyways, after he was dressed for five minutes, I found him laying on the rug in the living room, watching television that I turned on for him, and he was rocking on the floor, doing the same thing he does in his crib before bed.
I wondered if what I had seen is typical of most boys, or only of him. And I wondered what caused him to discover this so early in life.
But whenever I masturbate, I usually think of him now, and the images I've seen and remember of him doing this. When we have family gatherings at Christmas now, just seeing his face gives me the urge to masturbate, but I wait till I am alone.
He's now five years old, I wonder if he still masturbates in bed each night or at other times. I wonder if he even knows what masturbation is, he's probably doing something that he doesn't even have a name in his head for.