I'm still so much in love with her. Solotouch is what is left for me.
Susan is the love of my life.
I remember my last intimate moment with her 18 years ago. My doctor had started me on a new medication and I was losing the ability to perform. But I didn't connect the two. I thought that my lust for Susan was just diminishing, when it was the new medication that today has me set aside as a vegetable.
On our last night together, after a game of Scrabble, she led me into her bedroom. I was desperately ruminating about my new problem; one I had never had until it started while trying to make love to Susan a couple of months back. She was always the agressor and enjoyed her sex immensely during the first years of us together.
On this particular night, she disrobed on the bed, and I asked her if she minded masturbating for me, as I sat close in front of her. She asked if I was sure, and I replied 'Yes' with a beleagured half smile, guessing that she knew me well enough to empathize with my deteriorating reaction to the oh so sexy way about her. A doc was destroying our sex life because he prescribed a medication with bad side-effects, and did not give me a hint of what to expect.
With her light auburn hair and blue eyes, she was stunning always to me. In her nudity, she watched me disrobe and toss my clothes on the floor, still kneeling in front of her for the only enjoyment that I could still receive from her... voyeurism, that possibly could be followed by an erection. I watched as she slowly pulled her labia
aside allowing me the view I liked the most.
She began to slowly use her palm on the upper part of her slit, and eventually inserted one or two fingers, while rubbing her clit. I loved watching her in her intimate sharing of what was left for me to enjoy. I loved seeing her stomach muscles tighten as she approached an orgasm that she would have much preferred be driven by my means of old. But that had become impossible. She could only enjoy the joy that she brought me in my new role as a voyeur. When she came, her body looked like a coiled spring that had been released. I looked closely and remember that release as if it were yesterday. I loved her hunger. And I loved the way that we had become the closest of friends over ten years. There will never be another Susan for me, as I remain w/o a functioning 'thingy'. I have made love to no one
for the 18 years since Susan; nor have I ejaculated.
My life with her is confined to occasional dreams that I see her, but she seems to hold me in disdain and has yet to renew even a friendship
with me. I probably will always dream of her.
In the darkness I think that the day will come when her husband passes on, and I am given the opportunity to smother her with the affection I always felt for her. Our break-up was only my doctor's fault. I loved when she would dig into my pants when I least expected it. A petite ballerina, she was the most hungry girl in my lifetime.
I hope she is reading this per chance. Her brilliance and incisivness kept my penis hard whenever I could please her. Susan, you've got a
lucky husband. Kindly kill him with your lust.
I need you.